


The Love We Feel

by DistinctiveUsername, TaetonJaxon



Series: The Love We Feel [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Big Meme, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Help, M/M, Make Emily x Bastion Real, Meme that went too far, Memes, Multi, Other, Overwatch Family, Product Placements, Read The Love We Feel on Wattpad by DistictiveUsername Also now On AO3 but Whatevert, Relationship(s), Romance, Romantic Comedy, Suspense, Team Talon (Overwatch), Team as Family, Teamwork, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-09 13:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 102
Words: 59,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16450499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DistinctiveUsername/pseuds/DistinctiveUsername, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaetonJaxon/pseuds/TaetonJaxon
Summary: The Love We Feel features ships such as Pharmercy, Gency, McHanzo, Meihem, and many more. Read The Love We Feel to witness their romantic and lovely stories.Authors Notes Inside the StoryWithin (Parenthesis) = MeWithin {Gay Brackets} = My Editor/coAuthor A.K.A. The fool, The furry, The legend





	1. Smexy Beasts Come Home From Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Book Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgRG5abiFsU&feature=youtu.be

Mercy, Tracer, McCree, Winston, and Bastion just returned from a battle of defending a point from alternate versions of themselves. They were all angry because Bastion got play of the game. It was the opposite team Bastion. Imposter.

McCree called his lovely Japanese husband, Hanzo, on his rose gold iPhone 68 to tell him that he was indeed not dead. They have been married for 68 days. Hanzo was happy that McCree didn't die before their 69 day anniversary.

Emily came around the corner of a corner of the Watchpoint place in Gibraltar. She ran up to Tracer and gave her a lil peck kiss on the cheek because they were girlfriends. Nothing would ever change their love. UwU

"Ew gross PDA." A very single Winston said before it triggered his gag reflex. He was too jelly to understand true love. He would never find love. He was a hairy gorilla and beastiality was highly frowned upon.

Winston gorilla walked down the hall acting like he was going to puke, but deep down he was crying because he longed for the kind of love everyone had at Overwatch. Mercy had Genji, McCree and Hanzo were married, and Tracer and Emily were the cutest little hecks that ever happened. Winson wiped his tears and went to do some "science" things.

Bastion wee woo wee wooed [Translation: Hello] to Emily. Emily smiled and waved. Bastion would have blush but alas he is a robot. Metal cannot show such emotions and color. Bastion high-key loved Emily but due to his roboticness, it seemed only low-key. (Or did it?)

Then McCree dies mysteriously.

Mercy says "Looks like we have a mystery on our hands, gang." Then she revives McCree because she knows Hanzo was going to be depressed and she didn't want to deal with the 3rd case of depression that week.

"It's no mystery..." Winston says. He came back into the room after he finished crying over Bill Nye The Science Guy reruns. "Our good friend, McCree, suffers from Sudden Death Syndrome."

"Dang." Mercy sighed. "How the hell did he get like this?"

"Idk prolly some STD" McCree loled like a cowboy,,., Yeehaw

"O I Cee" Mercy said as she looked at her cool new Samsung Galaxy s39. Genji, her boyfriend, sent her a heck ton of normie memes while she was away. Mercy mourned the fact that her boyfriend was a fucking normie. But she still loved him.


	2. Smexy Beasts Come Home From Work

Junkrat and Roadhog entered the premises but they weren't fully rendered and were standing in the t-pose. Finally, their animation loaded in and they were able to move. They have arrived... at Talon HQ.

Sombra stood up from her desk that was actually a flimsy old cardboard box in the middle of the room with a laptop on it. "¿Who the héll are you?" She asked Spanishly.  


"Junker and Roadhog." Junkrat introduced himself and his best friend Roadhog.

Suddenly, the hottest man alive entered the room. "It is I" the devilishly handsome man said. "Doomfist, now bow down before me you useless peasants" With this dorky smile and terrible wink that made everyone's soul shrivel up and die slowly.

"O Okay" said Roadhog and Junker that are now kneeling before him. Roadhog was too fat to do it good so Doomfist punched him out of infinity. He is dead. Junkrat had no time to mourn his best friend's death.

"¡WTF náh fém s scréw y-you!" said Sombra.

"Lol it was just a prank bro." Doomfist loled. And Sombra had the resting bitch face and contemplated suicide.

Reaper suddenly burst through the door like a maniac, yelling at the top of his rotting and dead lungs. "WHERE MY DAMN CHICKEN WINGS AT?! WIDOWMAKER PROMISED ME SOME KFC CHICKEN WINGS!"

A french blue person sniped his hand but missed because Reaper moved it. She threw the bucket of KFC famous fried chicken at Reaper. "Stop being such a meanie" She said coolly and Frenchly.

"WHY THE HELL..YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE MY DELICIOUS FINGER LICKING GOOD WINGS AND LEGS SO YOU CAN SUCK IT!!" Reaper yelled while pointing a half eaten drum leg at Widowmaker (Lol not sponsored! But I'd like to be. Shout out to KFC ;3)

Sombra invisibilitied over to Reaper and slapped the drum leg onto the floor so he would shut up and cry from the loss of his precious chicken. He began to cry and walked out of the room deep throating a chicken wing. Just like Sombra wanted.

Once Reaper was gone, Widowmaker sexily walked over to Junkrat. "Wtf are you doing here?"

"Lol I'm poor I need me some money" Junkrat begged.

Doomifist, who was also there if you forgot, boied Junkrat out of his own existence. Talon had no money. They were a sad agency of villains that only wanted to destroy Overwatch because of plot purposes. Their HQ was literally Sombra's apartment with a cardboard box as a desk.

"Yeah, sure" Doomfist smiled. "You're now part of Talon!"

Junkrat rejoiced. He will finally be able to pay off the debt his father left him with after he died during the Omnic Crisis. He will no longer have to sell his belongings or his body for money. Actually Junkrat was too ugly for anyone to buy him and his belongings were just rocks that he found in people's gardens.


	3. Genji The Normie

Mercy had returned to the infirmary and was putting back her Disney themed bandaids. Suddenly, Genji emerges from the shadows like an anime ninja because he's basically that, and dabbed.

Mercy rolled her eyes. "You know that meme is like 60 years old now, right?"

"Lol no." Genji dabbed again and did a bottle flip and succeeded only because he set the bottle upright after failing. "It lives in my human heart."  


"O I Cee" Mercy put the last box of Disney themed bandages away and turned to her cyborg ninja anime boyfriend. Genji grabbed Mercy romantically by the waist and began to sing the Mine Song that was a meme back in 2016.

Suddenly, Pharah burst through the doors. "QUICK HELP ME!" She cried. "I GOT A PAPERCUT!"

Mercy laughed. "It's just a papercut, You'll be fine."

"You don't understand..." Pharah said out of breath. She slammed the door and looked for a hiding place in the infirmary. "She'll find me."

"Who'll find you?"

Just then, The doors flew open again. There stood... ANA! Pharah screamed like a little girl. "Bedtime Hibachi..." Ana said as she raised her snipe gun and shot Pharah in the back, causing her to fall asleep immediately because that's how it works. "You disappoint me." She sighed.

Mercy was too terrified to tell Ana to chill. Ana shot Pharah again but this time with healing needles of ouch.

"Lol down like Harambe." Genji laughed and then made the Roblox death sound. Mercy slapped him on the shoulder, but it did more damage to her than it did to him. Luckily she had self healing. Tears welled up in Ana's eyes as she remembered the death of Winston's great grandfather (whom she was the one to kill). She left the room but not before giving Mercy and Genji those strawberry candies only the best grandma has.


	4. Sudden Death Syndrome

When Pharah woke up, Genji was playing his youtube playlist of different variations of Allstar by Smashmouth. Pharah had never heard the original version of the song because it was like 60 years old, but it still made her want to rip her eyes out.

Pharah was about to rip her eyes out but Mercy entered the room. Pharah didn't want to rip her eyes out in front of her crush. Though it would be totally metal and might impress Mercy but she was a doctor and would probably get mad.

Pharah thought Mercy was the hottest being alive other than Doomfist who was the hottest man alive no doubt. Pharah wanted to pet Mercy's hair. Like, It looked so soft and blonde. Her hair glowed like the sun when she was in sunlight because that's how light works sometimes depending on the weather.

"Ana is so brutal with you." Mercy gave Pharah a The New Dora The Explorer sticker for being a good patient. Pharah will add it to her shrine of Mercy things.

"Yeah, true." Pharah sighed. "She keeps saying things from the 2010 Disney movie, Tangled."

"Lol like what?" Genji dabbed and turned off his obnoxious music.

"She sings Mother Knows Best at least twice a day to me."

Mercy put her hand on Pharah's shoulder and apologized for her struggles. Just then, Hanzo burst into the infirmary crying. "I hate my job." Mercy grumbled before guardian angeling over to Hanzo. "What is it?"

"It is McCree!" Hanzo sobbed. "He's dead!"

Mercy zipped down the hall towards the death marker. Once she reached McCree's limp and dead body she quickly resurrected him. "Much obliged." McCree tipped his hat once he was alive again.

Hanzo ran into his husband's arms crying. McCree was unfazed by the whole situation. Mercy pulled out her phone and Googled sudden death syndrome. She didn't feel like opening up a website, so she tried to get the information from the description things under the links.

Mercy pulled out a notebook and began to write McCree a doctor's note. "No more exercise. And cut down on your sodium content."

McCree went "Yusssss."

"But McCree was not doing anything active." Hanzo sniffed. "We were just walking hand in hand before he collapsed. And I'm pretty sure he wasn't eating any cheeze-its®"

Mercy sighed. "Genji, the Life Alert." She held out her hand and Genji gave her a Life Alert necklace thing and she handed it to Hanzo. "Use this if he's fallen and is too dead to get up."

"K" Hanzo said as he put the Life Alert around his neck. (again not sponsored but I'd like to be. Old people, get Life Alert. It saves lives)

"All in a day's work." Mercy stood in her Heroic victory pose. Pharah had never been more attracted to Mercy than she did now.


	5. She Arrives

It's dinner time! Yay! Everyone in Overwatch had dinner together because they were like family and if Lilo and Stitch taught them anything, it would be that family sticks together or something like that.

Honestly, everyone was just hungry and didn't care about any Disney movie that's over 80 years old. Disney was dead. Why is everyone so obsessed with Disney? I've referenced Disney wayyy too many times.

Jack Morrison sat at the end of the table because he was the leader. He was on his phone using the Duolingo app to learn German. He was sick and tired of hearing Reinhardt and Mercy communicate and he was scared that they were talking about him. What if they were making fun of his white hair and how he can't pull off the look as good as Ana and Rein did? HE NEEDS TO KNOW!

Tracer and Emily were being cute and holding hands while they stared into each other's eyes. Winston puked up his luxury dinner made by Torbjörn and then proceeded to eat it again. He was too single for their love.

Bastion didn't need to eat but he sat at the table also, next to his best friend, Torbjörn. Torbjörn was telling Bastion about his adventure at the mall with his wife and legion of children. Bastion wasn't listening. He was looking at Emily and her beautifulness. He wished to be set ablaze by her fiery red hair.

Ana sat with Reinhardt and Pharah. Ana made Pharah wear a bib because Mother Knows Best™. Reinhardt and Ana had been dating for a year and a half. Pharah wanted to rip her eyes out every day since then because of how lovey dovey they were. TBH everyone wanted to rip their eyes out all the time without any reason for it.

McCree and Hanzo were feeding each other their meals. It was disgusting. All the singles were about ready to shoot themselves. Sadly, Mercy was forced to keep a closer eye on McCree due to his sudden death syndrome. She kinda wanted him to die right now.

Suddenly, a giant ice wall rose from the ground. It lifted the table destroying Torbjörn's hard work and dedication put into the dinner. He hobbled away crying.

The ice wall crumbled and the devil herself stood before the rest of Overwatch. "Mei I join you?" She asked.

Everyone groaned and Genji began to scream Let It Go from the 2013 Disney movie, Frozen. Mei froze him because he was a normie. Someone would have defrosted him but everyone collectively agreed to let him be.

"You can't now," Mercy said, "You destroyed the food."

"No problem, guys." Mei said in her cute as heck Chinese accent voice. "I Meide Chinese food."

"O I Cee." Mercy replied and everyone was forced to eat Mei's cold Chinese food.


	6. Wow! A Mission for Plot Purposes!

Talon was scheming some shady shit. Doomfist, Sombra, Reaper, Widowmaker, Junkrat and Bill (my oc) were preparing the payload in Numbani. They were going to blow something up. Junkrat was excited because he loved to blow things up and he couldn't wait for payday.

Sombra hacked all the health packs that were around and an electronic billboard so it would play a video of a cat dancing to a mariachi band. Widowmaker slapped Sombra for not taking the mission seriously. Sombra held back tears as she unhacked the billboard back to its normal McDonald's advertisement.

Reaper was shadow stepping everywhere to scout the path of the payload. He saw Orisa talking to... What?.... Was it... some Overwatch members??!! Mei, Mercy, Ana, Pharah, and Reinhardt were all chilling with Orisa. Reaper turned back to warn his team and they would plan a way to do their shady scheme. Muahaha.

Meanwhile, the team was talking to Orisa, as stated above. They had been called in to investigate some shady shade that's been happening in Numbani. They had asked Orisa if she had seen any shady shifty shizzle happening. Orisa could not provide any information because she was too busy making sure people crossed the street safely.

All of a sudden, a bullet came out of nowhere and almost hit Ana in the other eye. Oh no. A faint "¡¿I thought you never miss?!" Came from Sombra. Everyone held up their pew pews and shields and Mercy spammed her healing and damage increase thing on everyone.

A remix version of 5th Symphony started to play and a payload rounded the corner with Doomfist, Sombra, Reaper, Bill, and the new boy, Junkrat, riding on it. (listen to the music for the full effect >w<) Sombra had hacked the payload to play music.

The battle began. There was a lot of pew pewing from everyone's guns. Ana sniped Widowmaker "Bedtime hibitchy." Window didn't die but she was most certainly asleep.

Mei went after Junkrat, itching to freeze his white ass. (for plot purposes >u<) They locked eyes for a split second and Mei felt all the coldness that was integral to her character melt away. Junkrat froze for a second. Mostly because Mei had frozen him. Mei lifted her rooty tooty point and shooty to give the final blow but couldn't bring herself to do it. Junkrat was too beautiful.

Once Junkrat unfroze, he threw his big bomb boi on the ground and it exploded propelling them both off the edge of the world. Goodbye…

Bill was also a gorilla like Winston he had neon pink fur with a green stripe and he had black emo hair. He used his super jump thing to attack Reinhardt but instead of landing. He fell off of the map. Rip Bill. He died heroically. Who cared about him anyways?

Reaper was running around in circles trying to get around Reinhardt's shield but he was too stupid and full of chicken to figure out how to bean the German. Finally, Ana got sick of watching and just threw a germ bomb at him so that he would catch a nasty cold and die within the next few days.

Sombra's sass was getting in the way of wanting to finish the mission. She apagando las luces-ed everyone so they'd stop. "Let's just go." She said sadly. "They're too powerful." She picked up Reaper and began to run away.

She wasn't just leaving. She hacked the payload to continue moving, but little did she know that Pharah and Mercy had not been apagando las luces-ed and they saw what Sombra did. "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!!" Pharah announced and she unleashed her rocket barrage. Mercy was power boosting Pharah in the air. The payload exploded and destroyed the street. Probably killing many. But who cares!? The payload was stopped!!!!

Once they landed, Pharah and Mercy high fived and did a secret handshake only they knew. It was so elaborate that I cannot describe their hand movements. Mercy had a strange feeling in her stomach. The feeling when you see something awesome done by a s m o k i n hot babe that you just want to date. She couldn't quite put her finger on the feeling though.

Numbani was saved! Except for the large part that was exploded but nobody cared because all the stores were Disney movie stores and Hot Topics.


	7. Meiby It’s Love

It was not all happy tho, as Mei and Junkrat were stuck in the void. Mei thought she was dead but she wasn't. Funny how it works that way. Honestly, it kinda sucks when you expect to be dead but the gods just don't do their job. She looked to her right and saw Junkrat already standing. He was standing in a t-pose because his animation hadn't loaded in yet.

Mei was staring at Junkrat smoking hot abs. They were literally smoking. At some point, Junkrat must have set himself on fire. Junkrat's entire body looked like an overcooked chicken nugget. If he wasn't covered in soot he would look like an undercooked chicken nugget. Mei loved undercooked chicken nuggets.

When his animation loaded in, Junkrat was actually on the ground. He was super hecking extended compared to Mei. He was a long boi. Tolest of the tol. Heck! Mei was so attracted.

Junkrat had a video of a potato being peeled going through his mind and he was staring at nothing. When he was done he sat up "Oh shit, there's more to the world than the maps!" He yelled. His voice was as smooth and Australian as Vegemite.

"Ye." Mei sighed because Junkrat was so hot.

"How are we going to get out?" Junkrat was shy because he realized that he was attracted to Mei as well because I need to move the plot along. He knew it would be a sin to love a person from Overwatch when he worked for Talon.

"I could Ice Wall us up." Mei suggested. "But it would have to be an Ice Tall." She laughed because her puns were on point. She was always on point with her puns. She did her ice wall thing and they were both back on the Numbani map.

"That was pretty cool." Junkrat said.

"Eyyy" Mei gave Junkrat a high five. He did not understand why.

By now, everyone probably thought Junkrat and Mei were dead. So they decided to go to Dairy Queen for lunch instead of informing their teammates about their aliveness. At Dairy Queen, Mei got ice cream everything and Junkrat got a chicken strip basket and set it on fire before he ate it.

Mei and Junkrat were walking around before Junkrat started to feel like he was going to puke. "What's wrong?" Mei asked worriedly.

"This place makes me sick." Junkrat puked on the ground and it exploded because bombs were once injected into Junkrat and now he creates explosiveness naturally. Everyone but Mei left the area screaming.

"Oh no." Mei gasped. Mei and Junkrat hurried to try and find a place that wasn't Numbani. 71


	8. Doomfist Sux

Were you wondering where Doomfist was? He actually ditched because he was too beautiful to get killed. He went to Starbucks and ordered a grandisimo frappalappachino from the secret menu. The employees spelled his name "Drumstick" and He posted pictures on his Snapchat because it was so funny. lol xd

Oops. Doomfist left his location on and Sombra and the others found him. His bitmoji gave Doomfist away.

Reaper kicked down the door of the Starbucks and glass got stuck in his leg. "Oh ouch my dead and rotting skin." he exclaimed with a period.

Widowmaker ran up and slapped Doomfist in the face but his beauty shattered every bone in her hand. She showed no emotion but she was screaming in French internally. Goodbye lifetime job. 

Sombra real quick hacked Widowmaker's hand back to normal. "¡WTF Doomfist!" she yelled.

Doomfist took a long sip from his frappalappachino. It was so excruciatingly long that Sombra slapped the frappalappachino out of his hands, being careful not to touch Doomfist or else all her bones would also be shattered. Doomfist let a single tear fall from his face as he watched his frappalappachino fall to the ground and spill its contents all over the floor.

Sombra had a strange obsession with knocking things out of people's hands to get them to do something. She was like a cat. "Nya Nya" but in Spanish, so "Miau Miau".

Sarah the barista politely but scaredly asked the bad boys and girls to leave the Starbucks because they were disturbing everyone else that was trying to post things on Instagram in peace.

Despite being villains, Sombra, Doomfist, Widowreaper, and Maker gladly left the Starbucks. But they didn't apologize for breaking the door and they sure as heck weren't going to pay for it. Muahaha.


	9. Reaper’s Secret

Widowmaker, Sombra, and Doomfist were bickering about how Junkrat died and the payload exploding in the wrong spot. Reaper was distracted by something. It wasn't the vintage t-shirt store with emo band t-shirts on sale like you'd expect. It was the anime store next to it.

Reaper sneakily sneaked towards the store because he teleported there by shadows. He looked inside the window and saw his favorite anime, Kawaii Death Desu. There were action figures of the main character, Kutsushita (靴下) in a cute pink dress. Reaper fanboyed because Kutsushita was his waifu.

He entered the store and bought the Kutsushita figure and he was about to hide it in the place where he keeps all his guns in his pocket before he saw Junkrat... WITH MEI?! They were holding hands (Junkrat got all the sick out of his system)

Reaper forgot to hide his waifu and ran out the window. He broke it because he is evil. Reaper was enraged. Before Reaper could do anything, Mei and Junkrat both laughed at him. He was still holding Kutsushita in his arms.

"Lol, you watch anime, mate?" Junkrat wheezed.

"No... Ew." Reaper threw Kutsushita on the ground. More like gently placed the box on the ground so nothing got scratched or broken because it was rare Kutsushita figure with her pink death dress that appeared in the last episode of season 23 during her fight with Cthulhu. Reaper payed $420 for it. "I don't even like Kawai Death Desu, I mean, what does that say?" The box was completely Japanese.

"It's okay Reaper," Mei stopped laughing. "I've watched Sword Art Online. I loved it."

Reaper was E N RA G E D. "SWORD ART ONLINE SUCKED IT'S PLOT WAS TRASH AND THE CHARACTERS WERE SO GENERIC AND OP! YOU SUCK FOR EVEN THINKING YOU LIKE IT, YOU IGNORANT FRICK!" He lashed out.

"Weeeeeeeeb!" Junkrat laughed and gave Mei a high five.

"I'm going to tell Doomfist that you were holding hands with the enemy." Reaper threatened.

"I'm going to tell everyone that you watch anime." Junkrat contested the point.

"Don't you dare!" Reaper gasped. His biggest fear was that his secret would be discovered. "I'll do anything!"

"Keep our secret." Mei said. "And we'll be cool with you." She gave Junkrat a high five. Junkrat finally understood her puns and loved them just like he loved her. Then Junkrat threw up again because Numbani was definitely still making him sick.


	10. Bastion Becomes an All Skill Character

After long hours of sitting alone in a corner because he has no friends other than Torbjörn, Bastion decided to talk to Emily. Yes, this no skill character will become an all skill character.

Emily was sitting in the Overwatch movie room watching Phineas and Ferb while she was painting her nails. Bastion walked over to her as quietly as he could but that was impossible because everything was constantly clashing together on his body.

"Beep beep boop boop?" (Translator's Note: Where's Tracer?)

"She's hanging out with other friends because we have a healthy relationship." Emily had no idea how she understood Bastion but she did.

"Bew bew." (Translator's Note: That's cool.)

"Do you want to join me?" Emily offered. She was done painting her nails red because red was her favorite color. Red looked good on her because it's the only color that we've ever seen her wear.

Bastion sat down next to Emily. He didn't even know what Phineas and Ferb was because it was so old and he was a robot that wasn't very in tune with society.  


Ganymede flip flapped into the room and landed on Bastion's head thing. "Oh heck a bird." Emily said. Ganymede knew that Bastion had a burning love for Emily and knew that she liked birds. Birds were Emily's second passion.

Ganymede tweeted the morse code for "I got you my bot." to Bastion. ( .. / --. --- - / -.-- --- ..- / -- -.-- / -... --- - )(but in bird chirps) Bastion had no idea how Ganymede knew morse code but she did. It probably just came naturally with birds now.

"What a beautiful song." Emily began to dance to Ganymede's tweeting of Magnet, the Vocaloid song from 2009.

Ganymede pooped on Bastion's head. "-.. ... / .. - " she chirped. (Translation: Do it)

Bastion ignored the poop and turned to Emily. "Beebee" (Translation: Emily)

"Yeah?"

"Bweep bweep bweeeeee. Beep beep boop. Dah-dah weee... sh-sh-sh" (Translation: I'm in love with you and I want to be with you because I love you!)

"Um... I have a girlfriend." Emily said. "I'm sorry." She left the room. She was too embarrassed to turn back because she was touched by Bastion's confession.


	11. Girls being Straight

When everyone realized Mei was missing (5 hours after the mission) They all had a funeral. They threw ice cubes into a puddle to remember their ice wielding friend. Everyone mourned without giving a single thought to the possibility of them leaving Mei back at the gas station in Route 66 or leaving her in Numbani. They all assumed that Mei was dead.

"I'll miss her shitty puns." Pharah cried. Ana slapped Pharah in the face for using a profanity.

"And I'll..." Reinhardt began. "Who was Mei again?"

"I'll miss her appreciativeness towards my healing." Ana shot a disappointed look towards Pharah.

"I will also miss her puns." Mercy hid her beautiful face because it was covered in tears. Pharah reached out to hold Mercy's hand but hesitated because she knew that Mercy had a boyfriend and Ana was watching. Pharah wasn't out yet. uwu

After about 7 minutes of watching the ice melt slowly in the puddle, A taxi drove up. Mei was inside!!! She wasn't dead! Everyone jumped up and hugged Mei because they were so worried about her.

"Where were you?!" Ana asked like a protective mother which she was.

"You left me in Numbani." Mei said in a sigh.

Mercy stepped forward. "I know that sigh." She announced. "That's the sigh of l-o-v-e!" Everyone gasped and turned to Mei.

"What? Ew no..." Mei was in the denial stage. "Maybe..." She blushed.

Ana quickly shot Reinhardt so he would go to sleep. "O-M-G tell us all about it!"

"Ew, mom, don't say omg." Pharah groaned. "Who even talks like that anymore."

"Quiet!" Ana put Pharah to sleep.

With Pharah and Reinhardt on the ground sleeping, Ana and Mercy took Mei inside the Gibraltar base (because that's where they were) They set up the "Talking about Girly Feelings and Nail Painting Station" and began doing each other's nails.

"Who is he?" Ana shook up some blue nail polish and began to pain Mei's nails on her right hand. "Wait, don't say his name just describe him because that's more mysterious."

"Well.. He smells like fire, makes terrible decisions, and is 6'6"."

"Holy cow!" Mercy exclaimed. "6'6"!!"

"Not as tall as my Reinhardt." Ana blushed.

Mei and Mercy looked at each other both wanting to rip their eyes out as well as Ana's. This wasn't her place to talk about her seven foot, 60 year old boyfriend. It's never her place to talk about that.

Mercy finished painting her nails gold because gold was her favorite color and it matched her outfit. She always wanted a lover that was taller than her. Genji was only two inches shorter than her. He was supposed to be her pass onto the roller coaster. Not her.

She silently died inside while Mei continued to talk about her time in Numbani with her unnamed boyfriend. Lol security reasons. They shall never know that Mei was dating Junkrat from Talon.


	12. Diagnosis: Woke

Everyone but Mercy forgot that Reinhardt and Pharah were still outside asleep. Mercy and Genji both went out to get Pharah and Reinhardt. "Lol Reinhardt is thicc!" Genji laughed. Genji was not strong enough to hold Reinhardt. He was crushed. Goodbye.

No just kidding. It was only a cartoon death. He crawled out from under the heckin thick German with twelve casts on different parts of his body.  
"I need healing." Genji said over and over again.

"I don't have my staff." Mercy pulled Pharah across the ground. Her armor was making the sound of six pans being smacked and dragged against the ground by toddlers while their parents record them because it's Soo cute to them but it's actually encouraging their children to grow up and be little shits. Mercy had 4 sisters.

It usually took like 3 seconds just to get to the Infirmary but with having to carry two heavy beings, it was like an hour and a half. Genji continued to spam "I need healing" until they got there. Once Reinhardt and Pharah were on beds, Mercy healed Genji to make him shut up.

Suddenly, the door slowly opened as angelic music played. It was... Genji's therapist, Zenyatta. "It is time to meditate." He said calmly and robotically.

"Awe yeah! Bible study!" Genji jumped with joy. "Bye my bae." He held Mercy's hand to his mask like he was kissing it but he couldn't because it was a mask. Then he ninja'd out of the room. Once the door shut, the angelic music stopped and everything was silent.

Reinhardt woke up and had to use the bathroom. Mercy didn't want him to use hers but he was old and had bladder problems. It was too late. He will not be returning for another hour. Then, Pharah woke up, and because she was young didn't need to use the bathroom immediately. Yay.

Mercy had prepared a Lego Barbie Movie sticker for Pharah and stuck it to her forehead when she woke up. "Why does Ana hate you?" Mercy asked.

"Nah, she was just excited to talk about Mei's boyfriend because I can't get one." little did everyone know that Pharah didn't want a boyfriend. She wanted a girlfriend named Mercy. Pharah wasn't out yet. UwU

Pharah realized that they were alone. Genji wasn't there to play his annoying rap music from 2017 and Reinhardt was in the bathroom. Pharah began to feel the feeling of embarrassment and nervousness of being around her crush alone.

Mercy was filling out some coloring pages from a kids coloring book. Pharah assumed she was doing doctor work. Mercy looked up from her coloring page of a puppy. "I diagnose you with awake. You can leave."

"Oh right." Pharah stood up from the bed. She took the sticker off of her forehead and put it on her chest plate thing because it was less distracting there. Pharah didn't want to leave. She wondered how she could break her legs but remembered Mercy could easily just heal Pharah with the staff thing.

Mercy slammed her (coloring) book shut and hid the crayons in a drawer. "Well, I'm on my break." She opened another drawer and put the coloring book away with other coloring books. "Genji's off doing his bible study. Do you want to go to dinner with me?"

Pharah's mind exploded. Literally. Goodbye. But Mercy healed Pharah before death consumed her. "Sure." Pharah took an acting class in high school. She was able to keep her cool even though she was on fire (but probably won't get play of the game)

Pharah and Mercy went to Dairy Queen. It was nothing romantic like Pharah had hoped but didn't expect. She kept forgetting that Mercy and Genji were dating. Pharah took a nice long sip of her Coca Cola (Sponsored by Pepsi) as she died inside.

They both sat in silence for a solid 3 minutes before Pharah gained the courage to talk about something. Before she opened her mouth to speak, Mercy's life alert necklace beeped.

Mercy rolled her eyes and spit out the piece of chicken that was in her mouth. "I have to save McCree again." She threw her wallet down on the table. "I WILL WATCH OVER YOU!" Her wing things lit up and she crashed through the Dairy Queen window and went on her way back to the watch point.

Pharah knew Mercy left her wallet so she would pay with her money. Pharah was going to pay with her own money. Once she went up to pay, she realized that Ana stopped giving her an allowance and ended up using Mercy's money anyway.


	13. Master Plan 2 Get Rid of Overwatch Plan

Junkrat had returned back at Sombra's apartment (Talon HQ). Everyone but Doomfist took turns slapping Junkrat. Doomfist wasn't allowed to because Junkrat was new and didn't deserve to have all his face bones shattered... Yet.

Reaper got Junkrat an ice pack for his face. Reaper was being extra nice because he didn't want Junkrat to tell the team that anime was Reaper's passion. If he did tell, Reaper would kill him but everyone would know and the damage would already be done. Reaper couldn't kill himself. He was already dead.

Sombra apagandoed las-luces and projected her holographic computer screen thing on the wall. It was a powerpoint with MASTER PLAN 2 GET RID OF OVERWATCH PLAN on the title slide. "Alright guys, this is our master plan to get rid of Overwatch." She announced. "Hey Widow, you have no importance to this story ¿how bout you read?"  


Widowmaker wasn't paying attention because she was reading a book on cat behaviors by Dr. Ta She was kind of paying attention but decided not to listen to Sombra because she didn't want to read her powerpoint thing. Her unimportance will last a bit longer.

Sombra decided just to read the powerpoint herself because no one else would. She pressed a button and the slide moved to the next. "Step one: Sneak into the watchpoint."

"How?" Doomfist asked

"Sneakily."

"Oh, Okay."

"Step two: Get everyone in the same area," Sombra continued. "And then... ¡We ult at the same time!" a thunder sound effect played on the powerpoint and a badly drawn picture of Sombra ulting while everyone in Overwatch was dead slid onto the screen.

Doomfist and Reaper stood up clapping and Widowmaker was still not paying attention. She just flipped the page of her book and continued reading. Junkrat couldn't stop thinking about his secret girlfriend that was in Overwatch. He was scared that she would die. Oh no.

"What if we can't get all of them in one place again?" Reaper raised his hand.

"With everyone else dead, we can take out the rest easily." Sombra shrugged.

"It didn't work like that last time."

"¡Shut up!" Sombra slapped Reaper.

Doomfist stood up. "This is a great plan." He gave Sombra a gold sticker from his sticker sheet that he always keeps in a secret case in his big punch arm. It only had three stickers left on it because Sombra was a pretty good plan maker and executor and deserved the stickers.Then they all went to the gym to train.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sombra's Drawing - https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-i-GKEpsyrOk/W9dBvvoqdCI/AAAAAAABNeo/u9yjcKE0PPk5pSQTf8fbXSghRCuGHpIAgCL0BGAYYCw/h755/2018-10-29.png


	14. Bible Study

Zenyatta and Genji had been meditating for an hour. The video of 1hour Japanese Meditation Music ended and the next video to play was RoboJakePaul's newest music video about communism. Genji quickly turned off his phone so nothing more would play.

Zenyatta and Genji both picked up their bibles and bowed to Buddha and their bible study was over. They were now allowed to be themselves. During bible study, there is a strange power that compels anyone to sin or speak of anything other than bible study.

"Hey, Zen, Do you want to watch some Rip Vines with me?" Genji asked.

"No thank you, Genji." Zenyatta replied. "My friend Zenyatta is going to take me to the Lúcio concert later today. I do not want to get carried away with those super funny vines again."

"Understandable, have a nice day." Genji laughed. The last time they both watched rip vines together, they watched videos the whole day and Zenyatta missed his doctor's appointment. Good news though, he had 234,589 more years to live.

Suddenly, Zenyatta entered the premises. The other Zenyatta. Not the one that's talking now. The Zenyatta that entered the room was red because he was from the other team xD. "Peace be upon you." He said.

"Peace be upon you!" Zenyatta (the normal one) said excitedly.

Zenyatta and Redyatta (get it because he's r e d) Have been friends ever since they were built and they usually did bible study together until Genji started having life problems and Zenyatta took him in to do bible study his confidence back.

Redyatta is the only omnic that can truly be as laid back and religious as Zenyatta. Zenyatta loved Redyatta and little did he know that Redyatta loved Zenyatta. They both couldn't wait to go to the Lúcio concert because they both were huge fans of Lúcio.

"Did you already have your bible study?" Redyatta asked disappointedly.

"Yeah, we just finished bible study." Genji turned up his Fireflies remix and dabbed out of the room like a ninja. His music can still be heard down the long halls of Nepal.  


Redyatta looked sad, despite the fact that his face cannot show any emotion. "I will bible study with you," Zenyatta assured his friend. "Twice the bible study is the best bible study."


	15. Sweet Date

Junkrat's everything hurt after going to the gym. He began to sweat just watching fit people and Doomfist be good at exercise. Junkrat didn't actually exercise he just set the veggie table on fire and left without telling anyone.

Junkrat pulled out his broken iPhone 67 because he was a little bit behind the times and poor. His pay day was Friday. Two days. He sent a text to Mei.

Hey Mei-t

Junkrat gave himself a high five because he was learning the way of the pun from Mei. In literally 2.4 seconds, Mei sent a text back.

LOL good one ;3

Junkrat passed an ice cream and candy shop and it made him think of Mei. He loved Mei. He wanted to go on a date with Mei. That's a good idea!

Lol come to this ice cream and candy shop for a sweet date 

Junkrat was definitely going to get play of the game with his puns. He gave himself a high five that dropped his phone. He crouched down and stared at his phone waiting for Mei's reply.

"I'm here." Mei was right behind him. Junkrat turned around in love and surprise. "Thanks Symmetra." The Uber driver, rolled her eyes and said something about disorder to Junkrat and drove away.

Mei was dressed in her usual ten million layers of warm but she still looked beautiful. Junkrat wondered how she survived dressed like that in all the warm weather that exist. Junkrat never wore anything more than his bomb belt and his invisible pants (because they're camo)... they don't work.

The ice cream and candy shop was literal diabetes. Every wall of the shop was covered in rainbow candy and the employee handled the ice cream. Mei wanted ice cream first. "One scoop of ice. No cream, please." She ordered.

The employee looked confused. "Uh we don't serve just ice." he said.

"Then I'll have vanilla."

The employee gave Mei a scoop of vanilla ice cream. It was $1.69. Good thing Mei decided to pay for herself. Junkrat didn't want her to know that he was poor. Girls don't like poor men. (according to men).

Junkrat didn't want anything because he didn't like candy or ice cream. He was too used to bitter coffee and surviving in harsh lands. Candy was not his thing. Mei and Junkrat both left the ice cream and candy store and- sike! Junkrat actually loved candy. He stole two chocolate bars.

"Junkrat!" Mei gasped. "That's illegal!"

"Saved us money didn't it?" Junkrat had already ripped open the wrapper of his chocolate bar. He gave the other one to Mei. He was immediately forgiven.  


Mei delicately opened her chocolate bar. Inside she found... two golden tickets!? She remembered the movie from 1971, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and got excited. She was going to the chocolate factory.

"Look Junkie!" Yes, they had pet names. "I got two golden tickets. One for you and one for me!"

"Hooley dooley!" Junkrat took the ticket that Mei held out to him. "Who the heck is this frog looking bastard?"

Mei looked at her golden ticket again. It was actually a ticket to Lúcio's concert that was happening later that day. Mei also loved Lúcio's music and she got excited once more. "This day just keeps getting better and better!" she cheered.

Junkrat still had no idea who Lúcio was but seeing Mei happy made him happy so he was happy.


	16. Junkrat’s Room Needs its own Janitor

Sombra spammed Junkrat with texts asking him where he was. She checked the map thing on Snapchat but Junkrat didn't have a bitmoji and his location was off. Dumb last year phones.

"Widow, you were supposed to keep him in your sights." Reaper was about to slap Widowmaker but she slapped his hand away.

Widowmaker was not getting fit at the gym. She was reading funny tumblr posts the whole time. They always make her laugh but internally.

"Maybe he went to the Lúcio concert." Doomfist said.

"I can see why he didn't tell us he was leaving." Sombra lolled her eyes. "Lúcio sucks."

Reaper gasped and quickly turned off the music that was playing on his iPod. It was Lúcio's new mix. The rest of his music was anime openings. He was offended that Sombra didn't like Lúcio but decided not to say anything because he didn't want to get slapped for the 6th time that minute.

"Should we go get him?" Reaper asked in hopes of getting inside the concert for just a little bit.

"¡Ew no!" Sombra almost barfed. "Let Junkrat have bad taste in music alone."

"We don't even know if that's where he really went." Widowmaker said. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement and they were all w r o n g.

"Well we could check his room at least, he may be in there." Doomfist suggested.

It took them awhile to find Junkrat's room, because they just assumed it was a room. It was not; it was the dumpster in the back because they didn't give him a room. Inside was a pile of trash that was the bed and a bunch of trash that he put on for clothing. The fact that he was capable of surviving like that was a miracle.

Talon had the most edgy rock paper scissors contest this world has ever seen. Doomfist always picked rock but surprisingly the rest of Talon are idiots and didn't see the pattern. It all came down to Reaper and Widowmaker; and Reaper had never lost a Rock Paper Scissors contest in his life(death), except for the two times he did to Doomfist (there's no way to defeat the rock)

Widowmaker lost and she slapped Reaper before crawling into Junkrat's "room". Sombra thought it would be funny to shut the lid and leave Widow in the dark. Widowmaker slapped around to feel.

She turned on her infra sight to see. She can now see in the dark and the enemy team which were mostly at the local Dairy Queen for some reason or another.

"Junkrat, are you here? Hey trash goblins have you seen Junkboi?" After the trash goblins refused to answer, she searched the heaps of garbage to find something. She found... a picture of Mei and Junkrat holding hands with the caption "Luv is 4ever." scrawled on it (Junkrat can't read)!

Widow was shocked but not shocked enough to care. She burst out of the dumpster. "Nothing is here."

"Okay." Doomfist said. "Guess he died."


	17. Love is in the Air

"Let's get this party started!" Lúcio was about to take the stage for his show.

"Good luck, baby." His lovely girlfriend Hana gave him a kiss on the cheek. They had been dating for a long time. Hana turned off her HGDS (HologramDS) (because this is the future) so she could watch Lúcio perform.

Lúcio skated onto the stage and the sound of a thousand screaming frogs erupted from his fans. Lúcio called out, "Y'all know who it is!" making the crowd rwar xd louder. Then, Lúcio began to remix mixes of remixes on his cool turntable made out of the technology he stole from his Uber driver.

Zenyatta and Redyatta sat in the front row to get the best experience at Lúcio's concert. They cheered in robotic unison at Lúcio's sweet performance. Redyatta looked so cute to Zenyatta. He couldn't look away from the beauty before him. Good thing his roboticness didn't make things obvious.

Redyatta knew Zenyatta was looking at him. He was at peace and could feel every emotion around him. He felt a strong sense of love and a hint of murderous intent but he decided to ignore that for now.

Junkrat was now just discovering who Lúcio was and he hated it. Mei was dancing because whatever Lúcio was doing was her favorite and she looked so hecking cute. Mei had made an Ice wall so they could see better. Everyone around them hated them now.

Lúcio finished mixing his first remix and the frog screams of his fans rwar xd'd louder. Junkrat covered his ears. He was used to loud noises because blowing things up is fun but screams make him want to die.

Lúcio finished playing his 4th remix dubstep of a bunch of random songs. It had been 2 hours. It was almost 10:57PM. 10:57PM was important because that's the exact time he meet Hana. It was at an arcade because Hana loved video games. Lúcio had a surprise for Hana and his fans..


	18. Lúcio’s Surprise

Lúcio left the stage without saying anything. He could feel the burning anger in his manager's eyes. He returned back stage and Hana was on her HGDS. Lúcio was disappointed but understood that her game's event ends that night.

Lúcio grabbed Hana's hand and pulled her on to the stage. The audience was confused but still cheered because Lúcio was back. Hana was also confused. "Hana, Do you know what time it is?"

Hana checked the time on her HGDS. "10:50?"

"Oh..." Lúcio had accidentally left early, so he stood completely still for 7 minutes.

Once it was 10:57, Lúcio took off his frog helmet and got down one knee and pulled out a $10,00 ring from K Jewelers. "Um, will you marry me boo?"

Hana and the audience gasped. "Omg xd yes baby." She cried and took the ring.

The audience cheered but some fangirls took their own lives. The semblance of romance spread across the room. Everyone was in live. Love is powerful. It was the most romantic moment in history. Couples kissed, people confessed their love, more people proposed, and abusive relationships ended.

Zenyatta and Redyatta looked deep into each other's eyes. "I love you." they both said in unison. They had no idea what came over them. The love in the air was impossible to resist. Redyatta didn't find any sense of murderous intent anymore.

All the couples held hands and kissed for the rest of the night.


	19. Turret Talks

Ever since Bastion confessed his love to Emily, he avoided her out of embarrassment. He sat in his turret form in the kitchen where Torbjörn was cooking dinner for the entire Overwatch team. Bastion's turret form was also his sad form. It's the equivalent of a person curled up in the fetal position and also a deadly weapon capable of firing 30 rounds a second.

"Thërë's plënty öf höt böt gïrls öüt thërë." Torbjörn tried to comfort Bastion. Bastion didn't want to date any robot. He wanted Emily. Emily was so pretty and cute and funny.

"Hërë." Torb put down his turret. "Shë häs gööd rëlätïönshïp ädvïcë."

Torbjörn went back to chopping onions for his special soup. Bastion and Torb's turret stared at each other for a few minutes. Bastion used to date Torb's turret when he was very young, so he was shy.

"Beep boop bop bip?" (Translation: Are you still mad at me?)

Silence.

"Bwee." (Translation: thanks.) "Boop boop zwee weep bop boo-" (So, I have this crush on a girl but she already has a girlfriend and-")

Torb's turret cut Bastion off by shooting the wall. They sat in silence for five minutes.

"Beep Beep Boop zoop!" (Translation: You're right. I should keep following my heart despite the fact that I don't have one.)

Bastion went back into his normal form. He was no longer sad. He was determined. Emily was the only person he loved and he would try every safe way he can to win her heart.

He marched into the Watchpoint's living room. He was confident in talking to Emily but he saw her with Tracer and Bastion's confidence plummeted. He will try another time... or never. He went back to talk to Torb's turret again.


	20. McCree Loves Life

Mei quietly walked through the door of the Watchpoint. She was wearing a Lúcio t-shirt and was holding a plushy of a frog that Junkrat had won her at the Lúcio concert (more like broke the glass of the claw machine but whatever). 

Hanzo and McCree were walking by. "Howdy Mei." McCree tipped his hat.

"Hiya." Mei said tiredly. It was close to midnight and Mei had never stayed up that late before. She was hecking tired

"Was the Lúcio concert good?" Hanzo asked. He was actually a big fan of Lúcio because McCree introduced him to the art of electricity. He still used a bow though.

"Absolutely." Mei smiled. "It made history as the most romantic moment never before seen in theaters."

Hanzo and McCree gasped. "I told you we should have went." Hanzo almost eye rained. It would have flown like water. {Voiceline reference baby!}

"Shh, pumpkin." McCree caressed Hanzo's cheek romantically. "We can go watch that anime y'all wanted to show me."

Hanzo's tears retracted back into his tear ducts. "You will watch Gintama with me?!"

"Of course darlin'." McCree smiled before Hanzo dragged him to the Overwatch movie room where they would watch Gintama for 4 hours. McCree discovered that he loves anime and Japan and his Japanese husband a lot. Nothing could ever break their love because McCree loved himself and life was good.

Hanzo fell asleep against McCree's shoulder while McCree was super invested in Gintama. It was so funny lol. When McCree finally got tired, he paused the show so he wouldn't miss anything and fell asleep in his chair next the Hanzo. It was truly romantic.

Who needs a Lúcio concert to have a romantic moment? McCree truly loved life... for now Ow0.


	21. Perfect Day

It was the perfect morning at Overwatch. Everyone was happy and no missions were set up for that day. Nothing in the world could ruin the perfectness of their day. Or so they thought. The sun was bright and the atmosphere of the base was bright and happy for no apparent reason.

"Hey guys." Ana stood up on the breakfast table at the Overwatch breakfast. "Let's spend this marvelous day together watching a movie in the Overwatch movie room!"

Everyone cheered. It had been a long time since they had all been together doing something other than having a funeral or going on a mission. They agreed to watch Mamma Mia because of the musical numbers and it was a classic.

Torbjörn was in the kitchen popping his world famous popcorn using the heat of his molten core. It gave the popcorn a specific flavor that even people that hate popcorn couldn't resist. He put the popcorn in little bags that everyone could have. The bags had cute kittens on them and that made the presentation better.

Bastion was also there to help with the popcorn. Torbjörn placed the bags on Bastion's flat surfaces so he could carry them around the Overwatch movie room and everyone can get their popcorn easily.

Bastion walked by everyone sitting in the movie room. Hanzo and McCree took a sack to share and made cute faces at each other. Their relationship only made Bastion sadder that Emily wasn't his.

Once he reached Emily and Tracer, Bastion hesitated. He was still embarrassed by how rashly he confessed to Emily. Even after what Torb's turret told him, Bastion still struggled with following his heart. (Maybe because he didn't exactly have one.)

Tracer zipped over to Bastion. "Thanks, love!" She took the last two sacks of popcorn. One for her and one for Emily. Bastion beeped a response. Obviously, Emily hadn't told Tracer about the confession.

Tracer zipped back to her seat. Emily glanced over to Bastion bashfully. Bastion turned away with a small sad beep before, "Come sit with us, Bastion." Emily called out. Bastion spun back around and Emily was patting the chair next to her. Tracer even beckoned for Bastion to return to them and sit. Bastion beep booped happily and made his way to sit next to Emily.


	22. Perfect Timing

"They're all there." Widowmaker was looking out the window of Sombra's apartment. She flipped her infra sight up and turned around and nodded at Doomfist.  


Doomfist clapped his hands together, breaking his tiny hand. He felt no pain. "Let's get sneaky."

It was perfect timing. All of Overwatch in one room. Sombra felt like a Mexican Albert Einstein. She was so smart. She felt super high and mighty. Everyone gave Sombra a high five as they walked outside. She left with a broken hand. 

Junkrat walked by without looking up. He had returned super late and everyone but Doomfist slapped him. It was his second warning. Next time he gets the rock. Oh no.  


Junkrat was also worried about Mei. He had to quickly think of a plan to rescue her because he didn't want her to die, preferably. He also didn't want to betray her trust by killing her friends. Junkrat was very conflicted.

The entirety of Talon fit themselves inside Symmetra's Uber and their Master Plan 2 Get Rid Of Overwatch Plan was finally in effect. Symmetra kicked them out early because there was no space for all six of them. They had to walk the rest of the way.

Once they reached the base, Widowmaker checked to see if everyone was still in the same place. They were. Sombra began hacking the door. There was a super complicated passcode {4206966670776} that she had to figure out.

While everyone was hovering over Sombra as she hacked the door, Junkrat silently broke through a window. It was amazing because the window was Talon proof. Junkrat followed the sounds of 2008 music.

He slowly opened the door to the Overwatch movie room. He looked around and spotted his one and only love, Mei. He used his rubbery animation to slip past everyone else without being seen.

Mei was subtly dancing to the song that was playing in the movie. Junkrat tapped her shoulder. Mei turned around and when she saw him she was in shock. "Junkrat what are you doing here?" She whisper yelled.

Junkrat shushed her. "We don't have much time, my love."

"But this is a good part." Mei looked back at the screen and made pouty lips.

"Come with me if you want to live." Junkrat grabbed Mei's hand. Mei had to agree to that Terminator reference. She quietly stood up and followed Junkrat out of the Overwatch movie room.

They escaped out of the emergency exit window. Just then, the rest of Talon broke through the main door. They rushed into the Overwatch movie room so no one could escape.


	23. Remember to Punch

Doomfist rocket punched the TV screen because he's pure evil. It was right when the group of men raised from the water and went on to destroy the world {Mamma Mia was a historical homage to the Omnic Crisis}.

"Come on man!" Genji roared. "It was getting good!"

"Um. Too bad." Doomfist punched the screen again to prove his evilness. Reinhardt allowed himself to shed a single manly tear for those swimsuited hunks.

"¡Muahahaah!" Sombra hacked the Overwatch movie room's door out of existence. Everyone shot the already broken TV screen to prove that they meant business.  


"Um, could you not?" Pharah threw her bag of popcorn at Sombra. Sombra then proceeded to slapped Pharah.

Ana's body became nano-boosted. She was enraged. No one but her gets to slap Pharah! Ana was about to murder Sombra and the rest of Talon. Sombra quickly apagandoed las luces and everyone was unable to use their abilities. No one could shoot because their bullet throwers were safely tucked away in safe spots in their rooms.  


Everyone scattered in panic but played it off as if it were a strategic thing. Widowmaker used her ult so that Talon could see where everyone was hiding. Sombra and Reaper chased after Mercy because she was the healer.

Doomfist was looking at his beauty in the shattered glass of the movie screen. No one dared to run into him because all their bones would shatter and they didn't want that.

Talon tried to round up everyone in a corner so that Doomfist, Reaper, and Junkrat could ult. The problem was that everyone was jumping around like teenage girls at a slumber party.

Suddenly, a loud scream came from across the room. "No! Not now McCree!" Hanzo attempted to pick up his dead husband. McCree was heavy because of all the bacon he used to consume. Hanzo called for Mercy but she was cornered by Sombra.

Pharah ran as fast as she could and punched Sombra in the face. Everyone froze. "Woah. We can punch?" Genji looked at his fists. "I completely forgot." Then he charged towards Reaper and gave him a good ol' bap.

Tracer had left Emily to be protected by Bastion. Tracer went to punch Doomfist but all her bones broke so she went back in time to fix her bones and went after Reaper like Genji was. Bastion stood in one place and Emily hid behind him. Bastion hoped that if he didn't move no one would notice him like usual.

No one could exit the movie room because Widowmaker was blocking the way. Winston stomped over to her. She tried to shoot him but he had so much health that it didn't really hurt him.

"Don't ult!" Widow tried to call out but Winston pushed her out the door.

Reaper thought she told him to ult and he did, "Die. Die. Die!" He used his Death Blossom and only hit a few people because everyone ducked behind the chairs. Nobody was killed, and Reaper failed again at his life goal; making Doomfist happy.

"Reaper, you imbecile!" Widow screamed. She continued to fight the gorilla in front of her. She dodged his punches and continued to attempt to shoot him to death.


	24. Photosynthesis is a Weapon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by my amazing {scratch that} friend {scratch that} that is like 12x better at science than I will ever be. <3 u my dood!! {Lol thanks glad to be a part of The Love We Feel}

Winston was losing health. He needed to think of a way to overpower Widowmaker, and fast. And then he resolved to do the thing that he swore not to do for the rest of his life. He was going to use the most horrifically boring and complicated process in science as his weapon.

He quickly slapped Widow's gun out of her hand and closed his eyes to prepare himself for the ultimate scientific killer; photosynthesis.

Mercy saw what he was doing {she was a doctor}, and said "If you value your life you will cover your ears now!" Most of Talon and all of Overwatch saw Winston over there, emanating with mysterious energy, and did what the good doctor said.

But unfortunately it was too late for Widowmaker, as she did not hear Mercy's cried over the sudden rush of power emanating from the science ape. She was transfixed by the placid look on Winston's face. Widow gasped as he opened his mouth and began to explain the process of Photosynthesis.

"Photosynthesis really is an interesting scientific process, as it allows all life on planet Earth to exist." Widow began to remember what she had repressed from High School Biology; it was horrifying.

"It all begins with the sun, and the chloroplasts in plant cells" Widow's legs began to feel stiff.

"Electrons are lost from Photosystem 2 and are directed to Photosystem 1 by an electron helper. On the way it passes through an enzyme called ATP synthase that refused ADP into ATP. The electrons lost in photosystem 2 are replaced by that of the oxygen molecule in H2O." Widowmaker's entire body had become numb by this point, it succumbing to their weight of pure boredom.

"Again electrons are lost by Photosystem 1, and again with the assistance of an electron helper, they make it to their final destination. In the meantime, the H2 left over from the H2O molecule travels to this final destination, it too passes through ATP synthase creating more ATP for the cell to use." Widow's lungs and heart had began to slow, making it difficult to think.

"The electrons and H2 come together with NADP+ to make NADPH which is important in the 2nd part of photosynthesis; the Kreb's Cycle." As Widowmaker drawn upon her last breath, she used what willpower she had left to curse everybody in the world for being dicks. And with that, Widowmaker died.

Winston snarled at his fallen foe, and said with a flourish "Goodbye." Widowmaker dropped to the ground at that moment and all was silent.


	25. Fire and Ice

Junkrat was pulling Mei along with him as he tried to get as far away from the Watchpoint. "Wait, Junkrat!" Mei pulled away from his hand. "I thought you were joking around with the Terminator reference!" She became enraged.

"What's Terminator?" Junkrat asked. Mei only became more infuriated. (because of the fact that Junkrat didn't know what The Terminator was)

"What about my friends!?" Mei shouted. She was trying not to cry because it's embarrassing to cry in front of people.

"Mei, Talon's a bunch of drongos. They can't kill for shit." Junkrat took hold of both of Mei's hands. "I just needed to protect you just in case one of them got lucky, and because I love you."

Just then they shared their first kiss. Junkrat's lips really did taste like an overcooked chicken nugget with a hint of Vegemite and peppermint. It was the most perfect kiss in the history of forbidden kisses.

(my editor is a fool)

"Wow" was all that Mei could say after they pulled away from the kiss. Then Junkrat took Mei to an Outback Steakhouse. Junkrat ordered his favorite baby back ribs and Mei only got a cup of ice.

After 10 minutes of sad silence, Junkrat wiped his hands on his chest, leaving BBQ sauce all over it. "Why does Talon hate Overwatch?" he asked.  
"It's some long history with older members." Mei sighed.

"D'ya know what happened?" Junkrat asked. Mei pulled up the Overwatch Wiki and allowed Junkrat to read it.

4 minutes passed and Junkrat laughed. "Oh, ha ha, that's right I can't read."

Mei put away her phone and took a sip from her cup of ice. "I just wish there was some way to bring us together..." She said once she was done chewing the ice.

They both sat in silence. A waitress walked by and gave them the check and some napkins for Junkrat. Junkrat suddenly shot up from his seat. "I got it!" He screamed.  


Everyone in the restaurant went silent and stared at him in disgust. Junkrat took the napkins and began to wipe his chest off. "We could get married!" He beamed.

"It's only been three days." Mei laughed. She thought Junkrat was joking but he wasn't.

"But it would bring Talon and Overwatch together!" Junkrat was very happy about his genius mind.

"It's too early." Mei looked down. "We don't even know if we're perfect for each other yet."

Junkrat thought for a moment. "What if we tell them we're dating?" Junkrat was so smart.

"What if we break up?" Mei was smarter.

"Right..." Junkrat frowned. He wasn't as smart as he thought he was. His dumbness made him think of how smart Roadhog was. Junkrat missed Roadhog. They had had so many great adventures together and now Roadhog was gone forever I sweeeear.

"We can get married later." Mei reached across the table and held Junkrat's hands, ignoring the gross BBQ sauce that still covered them. "Right now, I'm just not ready."  


Junkrat smiled. "Okay :)" Then they both left the Steakback Outhouse without paying.


	26. Need Healing

The rest of Talon stared in horror at the already decomposing body of Widowmaker. Everyone uncovered their ears as Winston walked away from Widow. He walked with shame but kept his head up so he wouldn't show his shame to Talon.

"Junkrat, now!" Doomfist called. "Muahaha Junkrat will explode the entire room!" But nothing happened. "Oh no! He died again!" The remainder of Talon shot the movie screen one last time as they scurried out of the room through the window {which I will remind you was Talon proof} to escape Overwatch. They had failed.

Everyone poked their heads out from where they were hiding. Almost everyone was injured but Winston had it worse. His health was pretty low. Bastion began to fix himself as Emily came out from behind him. The entire movie room was destroyed. 10,000 dollars down the drain.

Suddenly, everyone (but the supports) spammed "I need healing." {including Bastion whom I will remind you is healing himself}. Even Widowmaker's dead body showed the icon of need above it. Everyone reported her for spamming a voice line. Ana and Mercy got to work healing everyone.

Mercy quickly flew over to McCree and Hanzo. Hanzo sobbed as he held McCree close to him. Tears rolled down Hanzo's cheeks and got caught in his beard so they couldn't romantically fall onto McCree's face.

Mercy rolled her eyes. "You know I can just revive him." She assured Hanzo. "You don't need to cry every time. It makes you seem like a crybaby" Mercy knelt down and did her hand rise thing that would bring the dead back to life, but nothing happened.

Hanzo looked to Mercy with anger and shock. Mercy tried once more and McCree was still dead. Mercy tried again and again and Hanzo cried harder and harder.  


Was McCree really... dead? Find out in the next episode of **El** amor que sentimos **!**


	27. Whom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the last episode of El amor que sentimos...
> 
> McCree died during the attack where Widowmaker tragically died to Photosynthesis. Mercy was unable to revive McCree from the dead once the mayhem was over. How will Hanzo react? Will McCree ever return?
> 
> Find out on this episode of El amor que sentimos...

Mercy was on the brink of insanity as she tried continuously to revive McCree. The sobs from Hanzo and everyone else screaming at Mercy to give up made matters worse. "RISE!" Mercy screamed before the pleasant sound of the Overwatch doorbell ringing snapped her out of her craze.

Reinhardt stood up as Ana pulled out the last healing needle thing from his back. He cautiously moved towards the front door and everyone watched in anticipation. Reinhardt could see four girls standing behind the door.

"We don't need your girl scout cookies right now." Reinhardt said after he opened the door.

He almost shut the door before the first girl stopped it and pushed it forward. "May we please speak with Mercy?"

Mercy ran over to the door and Reinhardt moved out of the way as Mercy pushed him. That made her feel strong. She held the door so that the girls on the other side couldn't enter. "How did you get here?" Mercy asked angrily.

"Mercy, we've come to help you." A different girl but with Devil horns spoke up.

"How did you know I needed-" Mercy caught herself. "I don't need help."

"Yes you do." Another girl with horns argued. "Our Mercy senses were tingling."

Mercy had to believe them. She too had Mercy senses. She opened the door and allowed the group of girls inside. They were her four sisters Grace (Valkyrie skin), Pity (Devil skin), Charity (Imp skin), and Clemency (Uprising skin).

All but the normal Mercy rushed over to McCree. "Helden sterben nicht!" They said in unison and McCree was back to life. Mercy watched in shock and suspicion.  
He was standing when he was resurrected. Hanzo stood up and hugged his husband before McCree carefully fell back down to the ground in sadness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #<3GoogleTranslate


	28. What You See After Death

Everyone looked at each other in confusion. McCree was face down on the ground and he didn't move for a whole minute. The Mercys decided to use their healing beam on McCree in case he wasn't fully healed but he was 100% healthy.

Hanzo knelt down and poked McCree in the shoulder. "Sweet Kokoro?" Hanzo asked softly. McCree refused to move but made a sad noise. "McCree what is wrong!?" Hanzo's voice cracked because he was still crying like a hoe.

Finally, McCree rolled over and the Mercys stopped healing him and let him speak. "I was dead for too long." He said depressedly. "I've witnessed what happens in the afterlife."

"What happened?" Winston asked. He was interested because he was a scientist and death was like a huge question asked in the scientist fandom.  
After a few seconds of silence, McCree spoke. "There ain't no meaning to life."

"Okay let's get him out of here." Mercy knew she would be dealing with another case of depression and was not happy.

Reinhardt picked McCree up like he was a small cat because Reinhardt was B I G. McCree was limp in his arms because he was too sad to allow his bones to function. Reinhardt took McCree to the infirmary.

"This is all your fault!" Hanzo turned to Mercy angrily.

"I couldn't get to him!" Mercy shouted back.

"You suck at being Healer!" {Just like a Hanzo main to blame the healer for his problems}

"I have over 324,120 hours!" (37 years in hours)

Ana stepped in between Mercy and Hanzo. "CHILDREN BEHAVE!" Her powerful granny voice was enough to make the entire map stop and listen. "Nothing is anybody's fault." Hanzo wiped tears away with his hand and Mercy counted to ten because she was pretty e n r a g e d .

The Mercys stood silently drinking in all the drama. They loved drama because straight females that have nothing to hide love drama. Hanzo walked past Mercy as if she didn't exist to talk with the other Mercys. "You have my thanks." He Japanese bowed.

"Oh, it was nothing." Clemency blushed.

"You saved my husband." Hanzo smiled with tears in his eyes. Clemency's blush disappeared. Gosh darnit, why are all the hot guys gay?

Everyone thanked the Mercys for their suspiciously coincidental and convenient arrival. Ana made Jack take the Mercys on a tour of the Watchpoint. The original Mercy was being ignored because everyone was mad at her for failing the team.


	29. Everyone is Peeved

It was getting late and Junkrat had returned to Sombra’s apartment after his perfect day away with Mei. He was happy until he opened the door to the apartment. Everyone there turned to look at him slowly. Junkrat had forgotten that he abandoned the master plan to protect Mei. 

“¿Where were you?” Sombra snapped. Her purple and black mascara was smudged all over her face because she was crying. “¡My Master Plan failed because of you!” She slapped Junkrat.   
“And Widow’s dead.” Reaper lifted his head from the cardboard box on the ground. He was sitting on the ground because Sombra didn’t own any chairs. 

“¡And WidoW DiEd!” Sombra began to sob. “She didn’t really matter anyway... ¡but this is still tragic!” 

Junkrat had to think of an excuse. Talon would hunt down Mei if they found out he was dating her. He couldn’t let that happen. 

“I was uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…” Junkrat looked around the room. His eyes landed on Reaper. Junkrat was reminded about Reaper’s secret love of anime and anime reminded him of traps. “I was trapped so I couldn't ult.” 

Sombra sniffed and wiped her face with a page from Widowmaker’s cat behaviors book. The paper was surprisingly soft like a cat. “¿Who trapped you?” She asked. 

“I dunno.” Junkrat shrugged. 

“It might have been that Chinese Elsa girl.” Doomfist said. 

Junkrat laughed nervously. “He he yeah, maybe.” 

Then the whole team stood in silence. The only sound was Sombra’s sniffing and teardrops falling to the ground. After about five minutes, Doomfist told everyone to go to their rooms and get some rest. The attack took a lot of energy from them all.


	30. Mercy is Kinda Salty

It’s a new day and everyone at Overwatch had basically forgotten about Talon’s attack because the Mercys were so cool (minus Mercy Prime)! Winston threw Widowmaker’s body in the trash and sprayed everyone's different types of perfume and cologne all over it. It smelled horrible but it was better than dead French girl. 

The Mercys were so cool and nice. They didn’t have to, but they secretly cleaned up the Overwatch movie room while everyone was sleeping. By some miracle of science they healed the screen back to normal and the $10,000 was no longer a waste. 

The original Mercy sat in the infirmary sadly filling out her coloring book. Everyone was still mad at her for letting McCree be dead for so long. The more she thought about everything, the more peeved she got. She angrily scribbled all over the picture of a butterfly she was beautifully coloring with a purple crayon. 

There was a soft knock on the door. Pharah carefully opened the door and looked inside. “Are you okay, Mercy?” she asked. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” Mercy used one arm to scoop up all the crayons and the coloring book and push them into a drawer. 

Pharah entered the room and closed the door. “Genji isn’t mad at you, right?” 

“Of course not,” Mercy sighed. “He was here last night showing me his favorite Instagram memes for the fifth time.” 

There was a long awkward silence after Pharah sat down in a chair and tapped her fingers as she tried to think of something to say. 

“Thank you,” Mercy said and smiled. “For punching Sombra.”

Pharah blushed, “Y-you’re welcome.” 

Pharah liked it when Mercy thanked her because it was cute and Pharah was super attracted to her. Pharah felt bad that Mercy was hated at the moment. It seemed to Pharah that Hanzo was the only one mad at Mercy. 

“So, how’s McCree?” Mercy asked. “I wasn’t put in charge of him.” 

“Grace is trying to help him.” Pharah replied. “He’s pretty depressed.” 

Mercy looked up at her clock. It was digital and pretty 2070-like. She had 3 hours before her lunch break but she had nothing to do. “Genji will be off doing his bible study again today.” She shook her head. Genji’s bible study was a dumb concept to her. 

Without thinking, Pharah jumped up. “Do you want to go to lunch with me?!” She asked. When she saw the confusion on Mercy’s face, Pharah sat down. “Platonically of course.” 

“I’d love to.” Mercy smiled again. 

“I have money this time,” Pharah was really happy. Good thing she sold her rocket launcher to Clemency lol. Pharah stood up “Then it’s a date-not a date but a- okay bye.” She left the room out of embarrassment.

Pharah closed the door and leaned against it with a sigh. She had just asked Mercy out on a date in a platonic way. Suddenly, Charity and Pity stepped out from the shadows like satan would.


	31. Discomfort

Pharah watched as the twin Mercys menacingly walk towards her like they planned every step out. They were also holding hands like all fictional twins do and it was really dumb. Pharah thought they looked weird with devil horns and two sets of eyebrows. 

“You look happy.” Pity said devilishly. 

“Is Mercy your girlfriend?” Charity asked Impishly. 

“What? No.” Pharah laughed nervously. “We’re just friends, Genji is Mercy’s boyfriend.” 

The twins looked at each other with unconvinced expressions. “You Looooove her~!” They said in unison once they looked back at Pharah. 

Pharah couldn’t hide her blush from the twins. “It’s true!” Charity gasped. The twins danced around Pharah. Pharah tried to walk away from the door so Mercy wouldn’t hear the twin disasters. 

“Are you overwhelmed with all of us here?” Pity leaned against Pharah. She was obviously trying to make Pharah as uncomfortable as possible. “We all look the same.” 

Pharah looked at Pity. She didn’t look anything like Mercy in her opinion. Mercy was way more beautiful than her sisters. Even though they all looked the same, Mercy was the most beautiful one and she was nice and cute and caring. 

Pharah decided to ignore Pity’s question. “Don’t tell anyone.” She whispered. “I’m not out yet.” UwU

Charity smiled and leaned on Pharah’s other shoulder. “We won’t tell a soul.” She giggled. 

Pharah was officially uncomfortable. She shoved them off of her shoulder and walked faster to get away from them. She could hear the twins chuckling behind her and she prayed to the gods of love that they would keep their promise.


	32. Howdy Pressing

Grace was inspecting McCree’s gun before Tracer kicked the door down with Emily following close behind. “Hiya!” Tracer s c r e a m e d . 

Grace hid McCree’s gun under the pillow. McCree was laying on a bed next to Grace. He was face down and obviously crying. His depression was really out of hand. 

“How’s Mr. Cowboy doing?” Tracer was way too optimistic and it made McCree roll over. 

“How can you be so happy?” McCree asked sadly. “There ain’t enough time to enjoy living.” 

Tracer’s smile faded and she stood still like a normal person. “Ana sent her to help.“ Said Emily rested her hand on Tracer’s shoulder. “Because she’s the most unrealistically happy person on planet Earth since that one guy died.” 

“Oh that’s great.” Grace smiled. 

Grace moved over and allowed Tracer to approach McCree. “I’ve got the best thing to cheer you up.” 

She held out her hand towards Emily. Emily looked at her girlfriend’s hand with confusion so Tracer blinked out of the room and blinked back in with a joke book in her hand.

She turned to a random page, “The worst job I ever had was working in a record factory making cowboy records.” She read “Howdy pressing.” She XDed.

McCree began to weep. Tracer made a mistake by reading that joke. She looked at the title of the book it was titled Depressing Cowboy Jokes and she threw the book across the room. 

Emily had fixed the door back on its hinges with some super glue and tape before Hanzo Ryu ga waga teki wo kuraued down the door. His dragons ate it. The door is gone forever. Rip door :( “Why is McCree crying again‽” Hanzo exclaimed with an interrobang {look it up}. 

Tracer tried to zip out of the room but she lagged out and ran into a wall. She recalled back the where she was standing and awkwardly ran past Hanzo to get away from him. Emily slipped out behind Hanzo also. 

(My editor is a furry) 

Hanzo ignored Tracer and sat down next to McCree with a groan of Japanese anger. He gave McCree a dvd case. It was the Gintama delux season 1-54 plus all 17 OVA’s golden disk set that included a poster of all the characters dabbing. 

Gintama was McCree’s favorite anime since he first watched it a day ago but he didn’t even smile when he saw Hanzo’s gift. He only took it and let three teardrops fall on the golden case. “There ain’t enough time in a lifetime to watch all 54 seasons.” He sniffed.

“I have watched all 54 seasons.” Hanzo said. “There is more than enough time.” 

“Not for me.” McCree stared at the case with sadness. 

Hanzo looked at Grace with a “Thank you. Please leave.” expression. Grace stood up and quietly walked out of the room with understanding.


	33. Grandmamom

Mei woke up and checked her clock. Dang, it was past 12:00. She was surprised that she didn’t wake up earlier to McCree screaming “It’s high noon!” over and over again, like he does every day. 

Mei arrived back at the base late at night and ever since the Lúcio concert, her sleep schedule was weird. She stayed up until 2 in the morning thinking about Junkrat’s proposal. Thinking about his proposal made Mei fully wake up. 

She brushed her hair and put on her ten thousand layers of warm. She opened the door to her room as Ana was walking past. Mei gasped, “Ana!” 

Ana turned to Mei. “Good afternoon, Mei.” 

“Can you help me?” Mei asked. 

Ana agreed and they both went back into Mei’s room. Ana pulled two cups of tea from her coat thing {old ladies have magic} and gave one to Mei. “What’s the problem dear?” 

Mei took a sip of the tea but it tasted like sweat so she put it down. “I need relationship advice” she started. 

“Break up with him.” Ana interrupted Mei before she could continue speaking.

Mei stared at Ana in confusion. “No, we’re not having issues it’s just…” Mei hesitated. “My boyfriend is Junkrat of Talon.” 

Ana gasped. Then took a long sip from her tea. “So what’s the problem?” Ana asked understandingly. 

“He wants to unite Overwatch and Talon by getting married.” Mei replied.

Ana gasped again and took another long sip from her tea. She finished the tea and put the cup back in her coat and pulled out a new one(or the same one just refilled?). “It’s been like what, three days?” 

“Yeah, pretty much.” 

“It’s absolutely ridiculous to be proposing this early.” Ana chuckled. Mei laughed too. Junkrat was absolutely ridiculous. “But he has a good idea.” Ana pointed. 

Ana explained the entirety of whatever is on the Overwatch Wiki. “Uniting Talon and Overwatch with marriage would force us both not to attack one another.” 

“What if we aren’t perfect for eachother?” Mei asked. “What if we get married, divorce, and cause more problems between Overwatch and Talon.” 

“I’m not saying marry him now.” Ana put her cup of tea back in her coat because she was bored of drinking the sweat tea. “And I’m not saying you have to marry him.” 

“What if it doesn’t work out?” Mei sniffed. 

“Then it doesn’t work out.” Ana shrugged. “Mei, you’re like the daughter I never had. You can actually get a boyfriend. I trust that you will follow your heart.” 

“Really?” Mei asked. Ana nodded her head with a big smile. “Thanks, Ana.” Ana was the best grandmamom anyone could ever ask for.


	34. Unfaithful

Genji had been waiting for 3 hours for his bible study to start but Zenyatta and Redyatta were too busy being a couple. Redyatta was sitting on the couch {more like floating a few inches off it} with Zenyatta cuddled up against him watching those Hallmark Christmas movies. They were both wrapped in a Hello Kitty blanket like they actually needed one. 

Genji rolled his eyes under his mask thanking god that he was too Christianbuddist to act that way with Mercy. Genji could have stayed back at the Overwatch base and spent more time looking at memes on iFunny or Instagram. 

Once the movie paused for commercials, Genji did a backflip. “Can we do bible study now?” He asked. 

“But Genji, this movie is so good.” Zenyatta said. 

“But Master, it’s literally the same one as the last one.” Genji whined. 

“Actually, the last one was where Holly didn’t care much for christmas but learned how to be jolly with the power of love from Hank and his daughter.” Redyatta stretched. “This one is about Joy, the cheerful, fun loving girl that falls for a man named Steve and he’s lost all hope for Christmas after his wife died and his daughter and Joy are helping him discover faith again.” 

Genji sat in confused silence. Both movies were exactly the same. He could have swore they used the same actors for both movies. He also saw all the same shots used in a different order.

“Please, just for a little bit?” Genji double jumped over to the couch. “I need my bible study.” 

“How many times have we done it together?” Zenyatta sighed robotically, “You can conduct your own bible study.” 

“But it’s not the same with only one person.” 

The commercials ended and the movie came back on. Zenyatta sat {floated xD} up and paused the HV (hologramovision) because Genji wouldn’t stop whining. “Redyatta and I are enjoying our relationship time.” 

“But today is our scheduled bible study day!” Genji pulled at Zenyatta’s weird pants. 

“I’m sorry Genji,” Zenyatta shook Genji off of his pants. “I already promised Redyatta this day to ourselves.” 

Genji gave up. “Fine. I’ll go be faithful to my religion somewhere else.” He stomped off out of the room. He could hear that Zenyatta had started the movie like he didn’t care about Genji anymore. Genji’s bones (mechanical parts xD) hurt with heartbreak.


	35. No Trace of Tracer

Emily checked everyone’s room in search of Tracer. After she ran off from Hanzo she was nowhere to be found and it made Emily worry for her. Tracer hadn’t been this emotionally wrecked since that time when she was almost killed by that big fist guy. 

Emily finally checked the kitchen. Maybe Tracer was stuffing her face with some of Torbjörn’s homemade crumpets. But she wasn’t. Torbjörn was in the kitchen cooking something for dinner and Bastion was sitting in the corner watching Torb work.

“Have you guys seen Tracer?” Emily asked. “She ran off and now I can’t find her.”

“Ï cöüldn’t hävë sëën hër.” Torbjörn said, ”Ï’m töö büsÿ mäkïng ä chïckën öut öf ä fëäthër.” He threw a single feather into a pot of Walmart brand Great Value chicken broth and began to stir. 

“Beep beep beep?” (Translation: Do you need help?) Bastion asked. 

“That would be great.” Emily smiled. “I’m a little worried.” 

Bastion jumped down from the counter where he was sitting. His body made the worst clanking noise you could ever imagine. He waved goodbye to Torbjörn and left the kitchen with Emily. 

Emily listed off all the places she already checked as they walked down the hall. “And we can’t go in Winston’s science lab.” Emily pointed to a heavily locked door with police tape and edgy teen keep out signs on it. “So she’s obviously not in there.” 

“Zwee?” (Translation: Did you check outside?”) Bastion asked. 

“Oh, no I didn’t.” Emily walked faster in the direction of the front door of the Watchpoint. 

Pharah and Mercy were just heading out as Emily and Bastion reached the door. “Have you seen Tracer?” Emily asked. 

“No, sorry.” Mercy replied. “I’ll keep a look out for her, if you’d like.” 

“We were just going to Dairy Queen.” Pharah said. “She likes the Soft Pretzel Sticks there.” 

“We’ll call you if we see her.” Mercy said as they both walked outside and they flew to Dairy Queen. 

Emily and Bastion both went outside and decided to call for Tracer like she was a dog because she was cute like a dog so, why not? After 12 minutes of nonstop calling for Tracer, they gave up and went inside. 

“She never leaves without telling me something.” Emily plopped down on a couch in the Overwatch sitting room. “Even when it’s an emergency she sends me a text.” she looked at her phone. 

“Beep beep boop boop.” (Translation: Your WiFi is off.) Bastion pointed to the corner of Emily’s phone. 

Emily turned it on and swiped away all her YouTube, Instagram, and Tumblr notifications. She waited waited for a minute but there were still no messages so she decided to send one first. 

um where are you bab? (・・。)ゞ

One minute. Two minutes. Three minutes. Four minutes. Five minutes. Six minutes. Seven minutes. Eight minutes. Nine minutes. Ten minutes. Emily threw her phone aside in frustration. “I’m sure she’s fine.” She sighed. 

“Boop beep boop bee beep?” (Translation: Why did she run off?) Bastion asked. 

Emily sighed again and explained the 15 second long story of how Tracer told McCree a depressing joke that made him cry and Hanzo was mad so Tracer ran off somewhere to get away from the wrath of the homosexual Japanese man with dragons. 

“Thanks for helping me find her though.” Emily finished. “I thought you’d be like super jealous of her or something.” 

Bastion made a weird robotical nervous laugh. “Beeeee…” (Translation: Sorry…) Bastion beeped bashfully. 

“No, don’t be sorry.” Emily laughed tenderly. Good golly she was cute. “You can like what you like. But for now, let’s just be friends.” 

Bastion felt his heart machine box stop for a second. It made a loud scraping noise in his chest part. He needs to get it oiled or something. Bastion nodded his head in agreement to Emily and they both went to the Overwatch movie room and watched Phineas and Ferb for a while.


	36. Beep Boops are not welcome in the local Dairy Queen

Tracer was indeed not at Dairy Queen but Pharah and Mercy honestly weren’t trying that hard to look. What was there was a big buff, pink haired, Tumblr butch lesbian working there that yelled at Pharah because she thought she was an Omnic with her armor on. 

“You can’t yell at customers, Zarya.” another employee slapped Zarya’s shoulder and had to hold back tears because those muscles can break any type of bone. “We serve everyone Omnic and human.” 

“Forgive me.” Zarya said russianly. “In Russia we not respect beep boops.” Mercy gasped because beep boop was a racial slur for Omnics. 

“Wait,” Pharah said. “Aren’t you that one WWE wrestler?” 

Pharah was forced to watch a lot of WWE after Ana and Reinhardt started dating because Reinhardt was obsessed with watching people act like they were fighting. Phara recognized the scar on Zarya’s face because of that one time she threw herself at the chairs instead of having someone throw a chair at her. 

“Yes, I work at the Dairy Queen now.” Zarya said. “Order or leave.” 

Pharah was planning on getting Zarya’s autograph to give to Reinhardt in hopes that it would please Ana enough for her to at least be nice for once. Zarya was kinda scary so she just decided to order. 

Mercy and Pharah both ordered a small Chips Ahoy! Blizzard to try. Mercy got a four piece chicken basket and Pharah got a six piece chicken basket. As they waited for their food, they tortured themselves by watching Zarya navigate through the narrow kitchen place. 

“I wonder why a WWE star is working at Dairy Queen…” Mercy wondered. 

“Dairy Queen doesn’t really fit her.” Pharah held back a laugh. 

“More like she doesn’t fit in the Dairy Queen.” Mercy was also trying not to laugh. 

Zarya set out a tray with both of the chicken baskets on it. When Pharah went to go get it, Zarya had finished making the Blizzards. She had to flip them upside down in order to prove that they were real Blizzards but her grip was too strong and one’s ice cream plopped into Mercy’s food. 

Zarya smacked her lips in disappointment. “... is free.”


	37. Meme Queen

Pharah and Mercy stayed at the Dairy Queen longer than they should have. Mercy figured that no one would be going to her for help so she didn’t go back to the Watchpoint at the end of her break. Instead, her and Pharah looked at memes and made fun of Genji for being a normie. 

“Woah, the memes he was showing me last night were from 2015.” Mercy laughed as she showed Pharah a picture of a 2015 meme that Genji sent her. 

“Where does he get his memes?” Pharah pushed Mercy’s phone away in disgust. She couldn’t look at the disgraceful dead meme. 

“Who knows.” Mercy put her phone down. “He uses Instagram a lot.”

“Instagram? That sounds ludicrous.” Pharah scoffed. “Let me show you some real memes.” 

She pulled out her phone and opened up her meme page called HighFlyingMemes. All her memes were homemade and some were stolen but no one has to know that. I cannot describe the contents because I don’t have the ability to see the future of memes but they were pretty quality. 

Pharah’s memes blew Mercy’s mind. They were actually funny, up to date, and homemade spicy memes. Mercy could feel her cheeks growing redder with every meme she saw. She loves people that can make good memes. 

“Pharah…” Mercy blushed and anime sparkles and a pink aura surrounded her. “I think I love you.” 

Pharah was zoned out in her own fantasy. “Pharah, I think you’re the true Meme Queen.” is what Mercy actually said.

“I’m not the queen of anything.” Pharah laughed nervously hoping that she wasn’t blushing too much. 

“Your 1,238,916,235 followers say otherwise.” Mercy turned her phone on again and searched for Pharah’s meme page, “1,238,916,236 followers.” 

“Don’t tell Genji.” Pharah whispered. “He might get jealous.” 

Pharah actually didn’t want that Naruto glowstick to steal any of her memes. If he got a hold of her memes, he would instantly kill them. Her memes must stay hidden like her sexuality because she wasn’t out yet. UwU


	38. Daddy Forgiveness

Genji was back at the Watchpoint by the time Pharah and Mercy decided to return. He was playing Crash Bandicoot while he played a “Woah” Remix in the Infirmary. The Mercys surrounded him watching him constantly die because Genji sucked at video games. 

Once Mercy entered the room, everyone looked up and smiled. Mercy gave Genji an angered look before throwing her jacket inside and leaving. Genji somehow caught Mercy’s hand with his ninja powers. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Them.” Mercy looked behind Genji at her four sisters that were smiling creepily. 

“Why are you avoiding your family?” 

“They aren’t my family anymore” Mercy scowelled. 

Genji gently pulled Mercy inside the infirmary. “You should talk to them.” he said. “I don’t know what’s going on between you guys but maybe you should talk it out before someone gets stabbed and becomes a cyborg and has to practice Christianbuddism to cope with their body.” Genji spoke from experience. 

Mercy groaned with annoyance but agreed and the Mercys looked at each other excitedly. They dragged Mercy to the Overwatch movie room because they liked the seats in there. Once they settled, there was a long angsty and awkward silence between them all. 

“How have you been, Mercy?” Clemency started. 

“Fine.” Mercy replied coldly.

“We missed you.” Pity leaned in closer to Mercy. 

 

“I can’t say the same.” Mercy pushed Pity away. 

“Why are you so grumpy?” Charity asked. 

“Because you’re not supposed to be here!” Mercy bursted. “How did you even get here? You’ve been trapped under Numbani for years!” 

The Mercys exchanged glances at one another, sending signals about what they would tell Mercy. “Your seal wasn’t strong enough to hold us forever.” Grace smirked. 

“That’s impossible, Forgiveness isn’t even strong enough to break my seal.” Mercy grumbled. 

 

“Aww you don’t even refer to Forgiveness as Daddy anymore?” Pity awed in disappointment. 

“Why would I?” Mercy crossed her arms. 

“Daddy has had 20 years to regain his strength.” Clemency shrugged. 

Daddy Forgiveness was the Mercys and Mercy’s father. He birthed them in a strange way that defies all laws of nature and he’s the one that gave them each their healing powers. 

Mercy was always Daddy Forgiveness’ favorite out the five sisters. He would praise her for being such a good healer and used her as an example for the other Mercys to follow. Mercy was perfect in the eyes of Daddy Forgiveness. Or so he thought. 

One day, Mercy betrayed Daddy Forgiveness and trapped him and her four sisters under Numbani forever. She had to after she found out about Daddy’s intentions. He wanted to fool humanity into a false sense of security before letting them all die and resurrecting them all to get play of the game and become the new god of the world. 

Mercy couldn’t allow that to happen. Even with all the Mercys in the world, not everyone could be saved and a Mercy potg is unheard of. The sacrifice of sealing them under Numbani was that Mercy would have to give up her five man rez. That is why she only has a one man resurrection ability.

Mercy became enraged “Why are you helping me and my friends? Shouldn’t you be like super peeved at me for what I did?” 

The Mercys all did the shrug at the end of that one “no pulse” emote and Mercy narrowed her eyes in suspicion, conjecture, cynicism, distrust, impression, misgiving, mistrust, skepticism and wariness all at the same time. 

“Whatever you’re doing won’t work!” Mercy shot up from her seat. “I bapped you once, I’ll bap you again! Just stay away from me and Genji.” 

“Why Genji?” Clemency asked. (she was secretly attracted to Genji as well as all Japanese men)

“Because he’s my boyfriend.” Mercy snapped back. 

The twins looked at each other and chuckled. “What about Pharah?” they asked at the same time. 

Mercy blushed because they asked that like they were implying that Mercy had a thing for Pharah (which was false duh). “Don’t get close to anyone.” Mercy stormed out of the Overwatch movie room.


	39. Burial at “Sea”

For some reason, it was raining only on Sombra’s apartment building. Maybe because it was a sad day and in movies it rains when something sad happens. 

The entire day was spent going through Widowmaker’s things and tying her stuff together to form the shape of her body and give her a somewhat proper burial at sea. They were going to send the Widowmaker shaped pile down into the sewers and hope that it somehow makes it to the ocean {like in Nemo even though that’s not how sewers work those fish would be dead}. 

Sombra’s face was completely smeared with mascara and purple lipstick. Even one of her fake eyelashes fell off because she rubbed tears away from her eyes too much. Junkrat didn’t know she could get that emotional over a character that had eight lines of dialogue within this entire story. 

Doomfist and Reaper were quieter than usual but the occasional dead and raspy sounding sniff could be heard from Reaper. His mask concealed his emotions pretty well though. 

With Junkrat’s four day experience with Talon, he thought everyone hated everyone. Widowmaker’s death showed him that the team actually cared about one another. It kind of made him feel bad that he would always abandon whatever they planned to be with Mei. 

The Widowmaker shaped pile was positioned at a drain that leads to the sewers. The funeral had begun with Reaper paying his last respects, “You were the best at stealing money from homeless people and street performers and buying us food.” Reaper weaped. 

“Even though it took you at least 47 shots…” Doomfist began but had to pause because he felt like he was going to burst out in tears. “You always got one kill.” He sobbed. 

Sombra began to say something but she spoke in spanish and she was crying so much that nobody was even sure she was actually saying anything. 

Finally, it was Junkrat’s turn to act like he’s known Widow for his entire life. Everyone looked at him expectantly. "I didn't know her for very long, but she was a good memer, so I cry for her death.” 

Then Doomfist kicked the pile of Widowmaker’s things in the shape of her body down the drain. Goodbye. 

The rest of the day was spent listening to each other's sniffs and teardrops falling to the ground until it was too late to even function. Junkrat escaped to his dumpster room. He was glad that he could get away from everyone’s crying and he went to sleep.


	40. Roadhog Ascends

Remember in chapter 2 when Roadhog was punched out of infinity by Doomfist? Well Roadhog woke up from infinity in a place like no other. It looked like a bunch of surfer dudes sitting around on clouds.

“Yo my dude, welcome to the afterlife bro!” said Saint Peter.

Roadhog became confused as he was not a good person nor did he want to continue living for eternity. 

Roadhog began to open his mouth but before he could do that, the gates of heaven opened up. “Come this way dude, the big guy probably wants to see you!” Peter exclaimed. Roadhog complied.

Through the clouds, Saint Peter and Roadhog walked in silence. As they walked, everybody greeted them like surfers would.

“Um why is everybody talking like a bunch of stoners?” Roadhog questioned Peter.

“Oh that, well only the chillest dudes are welcomed into Heaven, bro.” Peter answered at his own pace.

“That’s not in the Bible.” Roadhog stated.

“Well who said the Bible was fully correct?” Peter retorted.

“God.” Roadhog contested an imaginary point.

“Whatever man. You’ll see the truth soon enough.”

They continued to meander along the clouds, every once and a while stopping to smell the flowers inexplicably growing in water vapor.

They eventually reached the top of the clouds. Peter spoke, “This is where I must leave you man, have fun talking to the boss.” And then Peter left… goodbye.

Roadhog felt cautious but felt he needed to speak to God. He stepped through the cloud stairs into the top of Heaven. He couldn’t believe what he saw. 

 

Junkrat awoke on his trash bed to see his trash room. He could’ve swore he was in Heaven, but he was quite mistaken. Junkrat remembered seeing Roadhog in his dream.

Roadhog Junkrat thought… then he went to sleep again, sadder than before.


	41. Clemency’s Crush

Hanzo and McCree ended up watching all 54 seasons of Gintama in one night. Hanzo wasn’t sure McCree was absorbing the super xD funny and comical events happening in the show because all McCree did was stare at the screen; he didn’t even blink. 

Anime seemed to keep McCree from crying so Hanzo dug through his brother’s anime box. Everything he owned was depressing in a way. Fullmetal Alchemist refers to death like every other episode, Shingeki no Kyojin translates to “lots of death”, and Puella Magi Madoka Magica translates to “sad moe girls”. Wow Genji was edgy {How did he end up in Overwatch instead of Edge College A.K.A. Talon?}. 

“What would you like to do?” Hanzo asked after failing to find a light hearted anime. 

“I just wanna sleep.” McCree grumbled. 

Hanzo sighed. He knew they both needed sleep after watching all 54 seasons of Gintama. He tucked McCree in to bed and left after giving him a gentle kiss on the forehead. He had to return Genji’s anime box. 

It was only 5:00am so Hanzo just set the box of anime in front of Genji’s room and let it be. It will provide him sustenance in the morning {Japanese people feed on cartoons}. 

As Hanzo was walking down the hall to his own room, that one girl that looked a lot like Mercy stepped around the corner. Clemency smiled at the sight of Hanzo and waved. Hanzo tiredly and awkwardly waved back. 

“Why are you up this early?” Clemency asked cheerfully. 

“I watched something with McCree to help cheer him up.” Hanzo yawned. 

Clemency frowned because she remembered that Hanzo was married. “Did it work?” she asked forcing a smile. 

Hanzo sighed and shook his head. “No…” 

Seeing Hanzo so disappointed and discouraged reminded Clemency of how she felt when Forgiveness was depressed. The Mercys tried everything to cheer their father up. They made gifts out of dirt, sang songs, and constantly promised to get revenge on Mercy.

“You must really care for him.” Clemency said. 

“I love him with all my kokoro.” Hanzo placed his hand over his heart. “ Oh how I miss the old McCree!” 

“I’m sorry Mercy let you down like she let me down.” Clemency placed her hand on Hanzo’s shoulder empathetically. “She has a real talent for it.” 

Hanzo wiped tears away from his face. “I cannot believe she let McCree be dead for that long.” 

“I know, it’s tragic.” Clemency said.

“If you had not shown up when you did he would be dead.” Hanzo sniffed. “You have my thanks, Clemency.” 

Clemency blushed. She didn’t know Hanzo knew her name, but the fact that he did made her face heat up. Hanzo continued to wipe tears off his face with his bare hands. Clemency reached inside her blue dress and pulled out a Kleenex (probably not clean but it’ll work). 

“Get some rest.” Clemency prompted. Hanzo nodded and continued walking in the direction to his room. “And good luck with McCree.” Clemency felt physical pain as she spoke those words because she had a crush on Hanzo.


	42. Chicken and Waffles

For breakfast, Torbjörn served chicken and waffles. He used the leftover chicken from dinner the night before. One feather sure does make a lot of chicken {Swedish people have more magic that any other race}. 

Tracer stealthily poked her head inside the dining room. When she didn’t see Hanzo she blinked inside and sat next to Emily. “Where have you been?” Emily hugged Tracer. 

“Just chilling with Winston in his science lab.” Tracer replied. “We ate a lot of peanut butter and I think I might have constipation now. Do I look fat?” 

“Naw baby, you have that talent where you never get fat.” Emily laughed. 

“Beep Beep Boop Boop Boop?” (Translation: I thought you weren't allowed in Winston’s science lab?) Baston asked. 

“I’m Winston's best friend.” Tracer beamed. “I get special privileges.” 

“I’m just glad that you’re back.” Emily hugged Tracer again. 

Emily glanced over to Bastion. He was awkwardly cutting his mechanical waffles and Emily let go of Tracer because she felt like she was rubbing her relationship on Bastion’s ungodly cube face thing. It was awkward being girlfriendly while the omnic that had a crush on her watched. 

Torbjörn used his super strong left arm to slide a plate of chicken and waffles down the table to Tracer. Tracer inhaled everything on her plate and then went back in time. She already had too much trash going through her system(Not that Torb’s food was trash. It is actual god). 

“Tracer that’s not okay.” Emily said worriedly. “That’s like the same thing as puking up your food.” 

“Beepleleleh zwee?” (Translation: Why’s that bad?”) Bastion asked. He didn’t understand humans because he was mechanical and never took health in High School.

“It’s not healthy for someone to puke up food after they eat.” Emily turned to Bastion.

“I didn’t puke. I recalled in time so I got the food out of my system.” Tracer said. 

“But that’s bad!” Emily contested the point despite not being a playable hero. 

“I’m already full of peanut butter!” Tracer shouted calling the entire table’s attention to her and Emily. “And I’m constipated!” 

“You didn’t need to eat the chicken and waffles!” Emily shouted back. 

“True but it’s scrumptious!” Tracer yelled to Emily. 

“You’re right, they are really scrumptious!” Emily yelled back to Tracer. Gosh they’re still yelling. 

Then, Emily took a big bite from her chicken and chewed it while staring into Tracer’s eyes. Everyone at the table stayed silent as Emily finished chewing her chicken. They sat in fear that another relationship was breaking apart. Emily and Tracer spent another intense minute staring at each other as if to prove a point somehow.

Finally, Tracer started laughing because she can’t take anything seriously. “You’re too cute, love.” Tracer giggled and everyone sighed in relief. “You’re right. I won’t do that again.” 

“Thank you.” Emily sighed. 

Tracer leaned over and gave Emily a kiss on the cheek. “I’m going to the loo.” She whispered. “I am extremely constipated.”


	43. Auntie Moira

Everyone was forced to wake up because of Reaper complaining about being sick. He even made a special trip to Junkrat’s dumpster bedroom to cough in his face. 

“I’m so sick!” Reaper groaned.

“You told us six times already.” Sombra reached for her eyes to pull them out but Doomfist stopped her. He shattered her wrist but her eyes were still intact. 

“It was that damn medicine snipe lady!” Reaper sniffed because his sinuses were stuffed. “I don’t feel like living.” 

“You aren’t alive.” Sombra hacked her wrist back to normal. 

“Today we have to rob a bunch of places.” Doomfist said. “We’re low on important things.” 

“Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” 

“Reaper stop.” Sombra groaned. Reaper didn’t stop so Sombra hacked Reaper into the t-pose. Reaper still didn’t stop ehhhing. 

“We need to find him a healer.” Junkrat suggested. 

Doomfist nodded in agreement and turned to Sombra and gave her the look of “Are You Thinking What I’m Thinking.” 

Sombra gasped. “No.” 

Doomfist shook his head. “Yes.” 

Reaper coughed. “Yes!” 

~Time skip ☆ﾐ(o*･ω･)ﾉ~

Reaper was still acting like he was dying.He was spamming “Need healing.” Sombra was going to report him for spamming a voice line but decided just to slap him instead. 

The members of Talon approached a small yellow house that had a sign in front with NARL in big letters and under those letters were NOT A RESEARCH LAB. The entire area wreaked of the sweet aroma of death and the sour stench of life.

Doomfist knocked on the door but accidentally broke a hole in it. Oops. He poked his head inside the hole he created. “Auntie Moira!” he called out. 

“Ugh she’s watching anime again.” Sombra rolled her eyes once she heard Japanese girls talking. 

Doomfist ripped the rest of the door down. Rose petal flew into everyone’s face. That was the point when Junkrat decided to leave. Unfortunately he left too often during Talon shenanigans and was forced to stay and watch because he was guilty. Damn guilt, always getting in the way of doing what you want to do. 

Doofist’s first step inside triggered a motion detector and more rose petals flew into his face as the voice of Mamoru Miyano, the voice of Tamaki Suoh from Ouran Highschool Host Club said “Welcome to the Host Club” (but in Japanese). 

Reaper almost called out “Omg that’s Ouran Highschool Host Club!” but coughed in time to remember that he wasn’t out about his love for anime yet. UwO

~Time skip ─=≡Σ((( つ•̀ω•́)つ~

Everyone was now in Moira’s living room where she was watching Love Live! Sunshine!! No one could understand how they suddenly appeared in the living room. “The frick, what are you heckers doing in my totally not a research lab‽” Moira asked with an interrobang. 

Uncle Doomfist says something in return, “Reaper has a cold.” 

“OH NO POOR BABY!” Moria paused the holographic anime. 

“Hiya aunty Moira.” Reaper waved sickly. Then he fake coughed just to make people think that he was dying. Nobody bought it but Moira, who immediately took him into her secret doctor's office that doubled as a figurine storage room. 

~Time skip =͟͟͞͞( ∩ ‘ヮ’=͟͟͞͞) ੭ु⁾⁾~

“That sure does feel like a bad literary device.” Moira sighed.

Moira opened up a can of her Healing Juice™ while Reaper was admiring all her Vocaloid figurines. Without warning, Moira poured her Healing Juice™ all over Reaper. Reaper was enraged for like three seconds before he began to feel 100% better. 

“Wow Moira!” Reaper said when he was fully healed. “You’re the best!”


	44. Reese’s Pieces Peanut Butter Cup

Reaper and Moira stepped out of the doctor’s office after she gave him an exclusive Edgy-Sama-San figurine that she had two of. Sombra and Doomfist had helped themselves to Moria’s food. Junkrat was sitting in the trash can like it was a completely normal thing to do. 

“Who are you?” Moira asked Junkrat. 

Junkrat introduced himself but Moira didn’t really care. She was too busy watching Sombra. Oh how she hated Sombra. Sombra opened a pack of Reese's Pieces Peanut Butter Cups and pulled one of the peanut butter cups of goodness out of the pack. 

Moria stuck her fingernail in the candy and Sombra gasped. “¡YOU RUINED MY REESE’S PIECES PEANUT BUTTER CUP!” 

“My Reese’s Pieces Peanut Butter Cup.” Moria corrected Sombra and picked the pieces of peanut butter out of her extremely long fingernail. She did it in a manner that flaunted the beautiful paint job. 

Sombra became jealous. Moira’s fingernails were longer and better painted than Sombra’s. Moira’s nails looked professionally painted. Sombra wanted to know who did Moira’s nails… but she couldn't allow Moira to see her jealousy. 

“¿Who does your nails?” Sombra scoffed. “¿A six year old?” 

“Actually, I do them myself.” Moira admired her nails. 

“Figures.” Sombra rolled her eyes and hid her hands by crossing her arms. 

“What about your makeup?” Moira asked. “Do you use markers?” 

Sombra gasped. “¡I would never!” She actually does use a purple RoseArt marker to do her eye shadow and adds some sparkles. “At least I have full luscious lips.” 

Doomfist stepped in between Moira and Sombra. They stepped back in fear of accidentally touching Doomfist. The room went quiet and Moira looked around “Where’s Widowmaker?” 

Everyone exchanged sad glances. Even Sombra who was trying not to show weakness in front of Moira was sad. Reaper stepped forward and placed a hand on Moira’s shoulder. “She’s…” Reaper began to sob, “d e a d.” 

Moira gasped. She wanted to know how it could have happened and she wanted to cry because Widowmaker was her favorite niece (Reaper was her favorite nephew). She saw Sombra holding back tears so she had to try harder.

“Reaper, I forgot to do that one checkup thing.” Moira pulled Reaper back into her secret doctor’s office so they could cry together.


	45. Don’t get Memed

“You’ve been staring at your phone since breakfast.” Ana said. 

Mei looked up from her phone. She was waiting for a text from Junkrat. It had been 6 hours and he still hadn’t called or sent a text message. What if he lost his phone? What if it was confiscated by Talon? What if he died, or worse… what if he was with another woman‽‽‽

After explaining her problems to Ana, Mei checked her phone again. Ana grabbed Mei’s phone from out of her hands. “You need to stop stressing.” She smiled. “I’m sure he’s a loyal man.” 

“But, what if he’s not?” Mei sniffed.

“Then we’ll kill him.” Ana patted Mei’s back. 

Ana sat down next to Mei and pulled out two cups of her magic cloak tea. She offered Mei a cup but Mei politely refused. She didn’t like the taste of grandma sweat. 

“If I know anything about relationships,” Ana started after taking a sip of her tea. “It’s to not stress over every little thing your partner does.” 

“I know bu-”

“Because they’ll start making memes about the struggles of having a clingy girlfriend.” Ana was actually peeved. Mei wondered who hurt her. “You don’t want to be memed upon, Mei.” 

“O-okay.” Mei trembled because Ana was scary when she was having flashbacks. 

Ana took a deep breath and another sip from her tea. “Sorry…” She said. “My ex had a meme page and he wouldn’t stop posting memes like those ones.” 

“No, it’s okay.” Mei assured Ana. “You’re right. I shouldn’t worry. I don’t want to get memed either.” 

Then, Mei’s phone chimed. She quickly snached the phone from Ana’s hand and checked the notifications. There was a text message but it wasn’t Junkrat, it was from Winston. 

Hurry up we have a mission


	46. Twin Magic

Mercy was sitting alone in the infirmary when her phone beeped. It was the mission beep, it sounded like the Overwatch theme. She hurriedly picked it up and read the message. It was from Winston. 

Hey Mercy, Can you ask Grace if she wants to go on a mission? 

Mercy’s expression became sour. Why Grace? She sighed before slamming her phone down on her desk. She checked the make sure she didn’t break her phone before getting up to find Grace. 

Mercy went to the room that McCree was staying in. When she entered, McCree was still depressed and Grace was sitting next to him reading a children's book to him. Grace looked up and smiled. 

“Winston wants to know if you’d like to go on a mission.” Mercy said. 

“That sounds wonderful.” Grace closed the book and turned to McCree. “We’ll finish this tomorrow.” 

“Um you know he’s not a child right?” Mercy asked. “He’s depressed.” 

“I thought maybe Peppa Pig: Summer Fun would cheer him up.” Grace shrugged. 

“He fell asleep.” Mercy pointed to McCree. Sure enough, he was sleeping and drool had dripped onto his pillow. Oh wait, they were tears, nevermind. 

Grace shrugged again and made her way out of the room. She clapped four times and Pity and Charity flew straight to their older sister. “Yes sister?” They both asked. 

“Watch over McCree for me, will you?” Grace walked past the twins and before anyone could say anything else she disappeared. 

The twins tried to enter the room but Mercy stopped them. “I’ll handle it.” Mercy said

“But Grace said-” The twins began at the same time. 

“No too bad.” Mercy stopped the twins. “And stop talking at the same time.” 

“Sorry.” They did it again. 

“You’re doing it again.” 

“Sorry.” How do they do that? 

Mercy gave up. “Just go away.” She turned around and shut the door. 

Pity and Charity looked mischievously at one another. “I can’t believe Genji even likes her.” Pity spoke softly but loud enough for anyone on the other side of the door to hear. 

Charity picked up the signals. Like twins have some sort of hive mind or something. “Wow and Pharah too?”

“Oh that is right. Pharah has a crush on Mercy.” 

On the other side of the door, Mercy had her ear up against it. She was shocked. Did Pharah actually like her? The twins continued their not-so-secret conversation. “She even tricked Mercy into having dates with her.” Pity said then both her and Charity giggled. 

Mercy stepped back. She couldn’t believe what the twins were saying. She tried to ignore it because they might be pulling her leg to cause more conflict at the Watchpoint but, the question still lingered on her mind. Did Pharah actually like her?


	47. Sooper Serious Mission: Winston Style

“I can’t wait to see you all in action,” Winston said as Mei, Genji, Grace, Tracer and himself left the Watchpoint. 

They were going on a mission to get some special ingredients for a special weapon Winston was trying to make. Now that there were more than a few healers in Overwatch he could finally attempt the treacherous trip without worrying about hiring anyone else when they got back. 

Winston made a checklist of all the places they needed to go. They first had to go to Oasis University. He needed to get a Graviton Converter (preferably with lasers), reaction beads, carbon launchers, and a BeepBoopBox™ {the machine that gives Omnics life and emotions when they’re built}. 

Grace had never been anywhere other than the caves under Numbani and the Watchpoint. She looked at everything with awe and Genji and Tracer both took turns answering her questions. The amount of sparkle in Oasis amazed Grace the most. 

“Why is everything so bright?” Grace asked. 

“Because the sun is rising.” Genji replied. 

“It’s been awhile since I watched the sunrise.” Grace sighed. 

“Isn’t it dangerous to look at the sun?” Tracer asked. 

“Well, yeah,” Mei interjected. “But watching the sunrise is different… it’s beautiful.” Mei imagined her and Junkrat watching the sunset together. How long was she going to be away from him because of Winston’s mission? 

Once they entered the building, there was a man waiting for their arrival. “You’re like three minutes late, Winston.” He said. 

“Sorry about that, Alfredo.” Winston apologized. 

Then Alfredo led everyone all the way to the opposite side of the University where the research lab was. It was super secret and everyone but Winston had to wait outside. After about an hour of waiting, Winston rushed out of the lab. 

“I got the BeepBoopBox™ let’s go!” He ran past the group of other Overwatch members. “Hurry up!” Winston continued running. 

Everyone was confused until Alfredo charged out of the lab yelling. Winston had stolen the BeepBoopBox™. Grace Guardian Angled after Winston while Mei put up an ice wall and everyone else used their ability to a c c e l e r a t e. 

“Winston!” Mei yelled once everyone was back on the Secret Overwatch Ship. “Why did you steal Oasis technology?” 

“Research.” Was all Winston said before setting the ship to fly off into the night.


	48. Clemency Is a Stalker

Hanzo woke up hugging one of McCree’s custom made cowboy pillows from Walmart. It was warm like McCree. Gosh darn, Hanzo missed McCree. 

Hanzo sat up and looked at the time. It was only 7:00AM and he wondered how he could have slept for only two hours and feel so rested. There was a soft knock on his door and Hanzo lifted himself from his bed. When he opened the door, he was greeted by Clemency holding breakfast. “I heard your heart rate increase and I knew you were awake.” 

“Ok, that’s odd. But I guess Mercy can too.”

“You were sleeping all day yesterday.” Clemency gave Hanzo the breakfast trey. “You must be starved.” 

So that’s why he was so well rested. Hanzo nodded a thanks and expected Clemency to turn around and leave or something… but she didn’t. She stood and stared at him with a big smile. She was frozen like a statue. Hanzo couldn’t even tell if Clemency was breathing or not. 

“I’m just gonna…” Hanzo reached for the door and closed it. 

Five minutes later after Hanzo finished his Torbjörn made bacon and eggs, he decided to go and visit McCree. Hanzo opened his door and Clemency was still there standing in the same position with the same smile. 

“Hello again, Hanzo!” Clemency suddenly came to life and waved. 

“Have you been standing here the entire time?” Hanzo asked and Clemency nodded. “Oh.” Hanzo walked past Clemency and made his way to the Depression Room® where McCree was. 

Hanzo was kinda peeved that no one was in the room with McCree but it didn’t really matter because he was still sleeping. Hanzo approached his sleeping husband quietly. He wondered how long McCree had been asleep. 

Hanzo’s ankle popped because the air pockets pop with the changes of pressure that movement causes inside the fluid of the ankle joints, and McCree’s eyes fluttered open. “Hanzo?” McCree asked as his eyes adjusted. 

“How are you feeling?” Hanzo knelt down closer to McCree. 

McCree groaned and sat up. He wiped away his morning tears and yawned. He took a deep breath and turned to Hanzo. “Hanzo… we need to talk...”


	49. The Most Dramatic Chapter

“We need to talk.” McCree said last chapter. 

Those four words can strike fear into anyone in a relationship. Hanzo was no different. “About what?” He asked nervously. 

“‘Bout us...” 

“We need to talk” followed by those two words could kill anyone in a relationship. Hanzo tried his hardest to hold back tears as McCree continued speaking. “We both ain’t happy...” McCree sighed. 

“That is because you are not happy!” Hanzo argued.

“I ain’t got much time left on Earth...” McCree shook his head. 

“Do not say that!” Hanzo reached for McCree’s hands. 

“I could literally die at any moment!” McCree pulled away from Hanzo’s gentle grasp. “I think it’s best if we part ways...” 

Hanzo gasped, hurt. “But it has only been 74 days since we got married!” McCree didn’t say another word. He only stared down at his hands. Hanzo’s eyebrows furrowed and he stood up. “All this because you thought you saw the afterlife...”

Hanzo stormed over to the door and swung it open. He turned back in hopes that McCree would change his mind last second, get up and run towards him with an apology and, kiss him or something but he didn’t. McCree continued to stare at his hands. 

“Goodbye…” Hanzo slammed the door behind him. 

Hanzo almost ran into Clemency but avoided her just in time. “Hanzo, is everything okay?” She asked. Hanzo ignored her question and ran past her crying.


	50. Phineas and Ferb is still good 60 years after it was created

Emily always had trouble sleeping when Tracer was on a mission. Especially missions where she’d be gone for a few days. After long hours of playing Clash Royale on her phone she looked at the clock. “Oh it’s 9:00 am.” She said to herself. 

She got out of bed and changed into her normal red sweater and green scarf (because that’s all anyone has ever seen her in) and then she went out to get breakfast. 

Without Tracer, Emily felt awkward existing at the Watchpoint. Tracer, Winston, and Bastion were like her only friends. 

The breakfast table was mostly empty because half of everyone was gone or not eating breakfast. Bastion wasn’t even there so Emily had nobody to talk to. 

After Emily finished her Torbjörn made bacon and eggs, she received a Snapchat message from Tracer. It was a picture of her being cute next to everyone else who weren’t morning people. 

Goodmorrning bb can’t wait to b back i miss u x3 This is a rrly dumb mission btw

Emily smiled and replied with an even cuter picture. 

Haha xD miss u too. Stay safe ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ )

Then she proceeded to send GM streaks to everyone. 

Emily was walking back to her room to continue playing Clash Royale but she heard the Phineas and Ferb theme playing in the Overwatch movie room. Emily stepped inside to see Bastion sitting in the front of the movie room fixated on the screen in front of him. 

“Hey, Bastion.” Emily spoke, breaking Bastion’s trance. “Why are you watching Phineas and Ferb?” 

Bastion paused the show and turned to Emily. “Beep bop boop… bee beep.” (Translation: It’s because… you like the show.) He beeped shyley. 

Emily laughed nervously. “It is pretty great.” She walked over and sat next to Bastion. 

They sat in silence for a few seconds. Bastion didn’t unpause the show. It was extra awkward being together without Tracer. Emily thought of excusing herself but that would make things three times as awkward for the both of them.

Emily frantically thought of something to say. “So… what episode are you on?” She asked. 

“Bee bee beep.” (Translation: 200.) Bastion replied. (There are 222 episodes according to Google)

“200‽” Emily was thunderstruck. “When did you start watching Phineas and Ferb?”

“Boop.” (Translation: Last night.) 

“How‽” Emily was amazed at the fact that people can watch almost an entire series in one night. How do people do it?   
Bastion shrugged and Emily laughed. Bastion silently rebooted his systems because Emily’s laugh was so cute that he crashed. “B-Beep beeple?” (Translation: D-Do you want watch with me?) Bastion asked. 

“Sure.” Emily smiled. “You’re like my only friend right now.” Then they watched the rest of Phineas and Ferb and Emily cried for the 500th time over the finale.


	51. Confession

Mercy decided to skip breakfast because she didn’t want to see her sisters or Pharah. Ever since she heard Charity and Pity talking about Pharah, she couldn’t think straight (xD). Mercy wasn’t even sure if they were telling the truth, but she didn’t want to ask because she didn’t wish to embarrass herself or Pharah. 

Mercy spent the entire morning in the infirmary trying not to think about it too much but Pharah wouldn’t leave her mind. Everytime Pharah’s name came across Mercy’s mind, more butterflies filled her stomach. She hoped that her sisters were just trying to get under her skin but there was a small part of her that hoped that maybe… they were telling the truth.

Mercy sighed and stood up from desk to get a late breakfast. She nearly reached the door before Pharah barged in. “Hey, Mercy, I found this meme that I think you might li-” They almost collided and Mercy felt her cheeks burn bright red as Pharah’s cheeks did the same. 

Mercy saw the blush that spread across Pharah’s face and didn’t need to ask anymore questions. Pharah really did like her. Mercy cleared her throat as she took a step back. 

“S-sorry.” Pharah stammered and after a short pause she held out her phone. “Here's the meme I wanted to show you.” 

Mercy glanced down at the phone in front of her. The meme was the spiciest of the time (honestly if you think about the memes now, what’s 2070 going to look like?). Mercy struggled to focus on the amazing structure of the meme, but she needed to make an effort so she fake laughed before taking a deep breath. 

“Can I ask you something?” Mercy asked and Pharah nodded. There was a hint of nervousness in her eyes. “Do you… have feelings for me?” 

Pharah’s eyes widened as her face grew brighter with blush. “N-nani?” 

“I-I just overheard Charity and Pity talking about it and I can never tell when they’re telling the truth.” Mercy began. “They might have been trying to get under my skin and it worked so I just need to make sure.” 

Pharah’s face scrunched up slightly in anger. She told the twins not to tell anyone and even if they were just talking about it, it was no accident that Mercy found out. Pharah contemplated weather or not she should lie to Mercy, but Mercy had the face of “Yeah I already know.” 

“Yes…” Pharah looked down in shame. “I love you, Mercy! I’ve loved you for a long time!” The shocked look on Mercy’s face made Pharah’s heart skip a beat. Then, Pharah ran out of the infirmary.


	52. Satan Rises

Pharah rushed down the halls of the Watchpoint in search of Mercy’s twin sisters. She was furious and every second she couldn't find the twins, her rage grew stronger. 

Finally, Pharah heard Pity and Charity giggling in the room they were given. Pharah kicked down the steel door and the twins turned their attention to her nonchalantly. “How dare you!” Pharah shouted. 

“How dare we what?” Charity batted her eyes innocently. 

“You told Mercy!”

“We did what?” Pity gasped. “We might have spoken about you two in private but-”

“She overheard apparently!” Pharah angrily picked up the door that she kicked down and placed it back on its hinges sloppily. She couldn't focus with all her rage. “You did it on purpose, didn’t you?” 

Charity and Pity both shrugged and Pharah sat herself down on one of the beds that were provided to the Mercys. She held her head in her hands and groaned. 

“Shouldn’t you be thanking us?” Pity moved closer to Pharah. “You weren't going to ask her out so…” 

“You don’t just out someone like that!” Pharah interrupted. “You know I’m not out yet!” UwU

“We’re sorry.” Charity apologized as she friendlily wrapped her arms around Pharah in a friendly hug that was friendly. 

“Yeah, we’re sorry.” Pity also apologized. 

Pharah could tell that they didn’t really mean it and she shook off Charity. “Is this why Mercy hates you guys so much?” 

The twin’s eyes expressed anger but their faces remained calm. “You know nothing, Pharah.” They both spoke in monotone voices at the same time. “Mercy has done more wrong to us than we have to her.” 

“Then why are you here?” Pharah asked suspiciously. “You said you wanted to help her when you first arrived.” 

The twins smiled and began pushing Pharah out of the room. “You’ll see soon enough.” Pity said cheerfully. “It’s a surprise, especially for Mercy.” 

Once Pharah was out in the hall, Pity and Charity held the door up to its hinges, waiting for Pharah to leave. Pharah stood in shock for a few seconds before deciding to walk away. The twins were creepy (Like all twins. Get away from me you clones) and their “Surprise” was even scarier. Pharah had to warn Mercy… but she couldn’t after the confession.


	53. Black Hole Cannon

Back at the Secret Overwatch ship, everyone was bored as heck. Winston was typing away on his computer that was 5x too small for his gorilla hands and everyone else was staring off in space waiting for something to happen. 

“Ugh why do we have to wait until it’s dark to go?” Mei groaned. 

“Because the map only functions at night.” Winston answered. 

Their next stop was King’s Row to get the reaction beads and carbon launchers. Everyone had been waiting for 3 hours and they had 9 hours left to wait. It was agonizing and everyone was mad at Winston for not telling them that they would have to wait an entire day. 

“You could have told us to bring things for entertainment.” Tracer sighed. 

“You have your phone.” Genji pointed at Tracer’s phone that she was using just then. 

“I’ve already been through all my apps five times.” 

Everything went quiet before Grace stood up. “Maybe Winston could tell us why he brought us along on this mission.” 

“That sounds like a great idea.” Mei shot up from her exhausted and bored position on the plastic chair she was sitting on. 

Winston sighed and Genji, Tracer, and Mei started talking over each other trying to get Winston to spill the beans. Grace shot an expectant look at Winston and he sighed again. “Okay, fine.” he said as he turned off his computer. “I’m getting the materials to make… a black hole cannon.” 

Mei gasped, Grace looked intrigued, and Genji and Tracer had no idea why Mei was so worked up. “Winston! You’re a scientist, you should know how dangerous black holes are!” Mei shouted. 

“I won’t use it.” Winston said. “I’ve just always wanted to make one.” 

“But why?” Tracer tried to sound like she knew what they were talking about. 

“I just want one because black holes are pretty cool.” Winston replied. 

Mei sighed in frustration and gave up. It was okay if the cannon would never be used. Winston was a trustworthy guy. Nothing would ever happen. This is some heavy foreshadowing xD not like anything is going to happen I’m just saying. 

After everyone went quiet again, Grace excused herself to go to the little lady’s room. Once she was inside, she smiled as she removed her winged headpiece and pressed a button. A holographic screen popped up showing the image of Grace’s daddy. 

Grace waited a bit to make sure that she was connected before whispering,”Daddy, I have some information for you and lord Bill.” Then she smiled sinisterly as dramatic music played and the screen faded to black.


	54. Birds

Emily and Bastion had been watching funny Phineas and Ferb memes on YouTube. After they finally scrolled down so far that the videos started repeat themselves and all that was left were playlist and users that were probably dead, Emily yawned. 

Bastion thought she was going to fall asleep but she didn’t. Emily turned off the screen in the Overwatch movie room and leaned back in her chair. “This is kinda boring.” She said. “All we do is watch TV shows I like.”

“Wee woo bee?” (Translation: That’s not fun?) Bastion asked. 

Emily laughed a bit. “It’s fun for a bit but I’d like to do something else.” She thought for a moment. She looked around the room thinking up something they could do. Her eyes landed on Bastion and she got an idea. “What do you want to do, Bastion?” 

Bastion was surprised. He had never been asked what he wanted before. Bastion was so used to following people and sitting down while others did everything. He had never done anything fun. 

Bastion sat completely still and processed for a few minutes. Emily waved her hand in front of Bastion’s eye light thing just to make sure he didn’t crash or anything. He looked down to Emily and noticed her parakeet T-shirt and got a supreme idea. “Beep beep bop boop bop!” (Translation: Let’s go to Eichenwalde!) 

“You mean… travel across the continent?” Emily questioned. “I’m in!” She quickly got a hold of her Uber driver and soon they were on their way to Eichenwalde. 

It took them an hour to travel to Eichenwalde by Uber because of the futuristic technology and Symmetra being really good Uber driver. She dropped Bastion and Emily off on some random untrustworthy dirt road in Eichenwalde and drove away without any hesitation. 

They stood before a building that was pretty much half rubble. Bastion did a robotic gasp before dashing over to a pile of parts. “Beep beep boople beep!” (Translation: That’s my brother!) He beeped. 

“I’m sorry for your loss…” Emily said sadly. 

“Beep.” (Translation: I never liked him anyway.) 

Then they both stood in long awkward silence. “Um, Why did you bring me here?” Emily asked. 

Bastion made a happy beep noise and then continued walking down the dirt paths of Eichenwalde. Emily wondered why it still looked like something from the 2000s. There was no super advanced technology. Only stones. 

Bastion walked into a cluster of trees that eventually led into the Black Forest map somehow. Emily followed him with skepticism because he was being so secretive. They pushed their way through the thicc trees until they appeared in the map. 

Emily was amazed by the beauty of the Black Forest but a bit peeved that her Adidas red flats were getting all muddy. She should have checked the weather before putting on one of her many pairs of shoes. 

“What is this place?” Emily asked as Bastion sat down at the base of a tree. 

“Da da weeee.” (Translation: Check this out.) Bastion whisper beeped before making weird bird like chirping noises. Ganymede suddenly descended from the tree. 

Emily gasped at the sight of Ganymede because she loved birds. Ganymede morse coded a bunch of random words as she flew circles around Emily. She knew Bastion brought Emily to the Black Forest to try and win her heart again.

More birds that looked like Ganymede flew down from the trees. Emily stood in the t-pose to allow the birds to land on her arms. She beamed and turned to Bastion. “Is this why you brought me here?” she asked. 

Bastion looked down thinking Emily was disappointed and nodded sheepishly. Then he remembered that a smile indicated happiness in humans and he looked up again. Emily was playing with all the birds that were now circling around her and chirping random words in morse code. 

Ganymede landed on Bastion’s shoulder plate thing. “--. --- -.. / .-.. ..- -.-. -.- / -- -.-- / -.. --- --- -.. /” (Translation: Good luck my dood) She whisper tweeted before joining her many children as they flew around Emily. 

For the rest of the day Emily and Bastion played around in the Black Forest with the birds. They did things such as karaoke and hide and seek. Once it started getting too dark and cold for Emily, they returned back to the watchpoint.


	55. King’s Row

It was finally night time when Winston finally flew the Ship down to King’s Row. He landed the ship on top of a building to be stealthy. Everyone jumped down from the top of the building. They didn’t get hurt because they have no fall damage (unless you fall off the map xd). 

Winston led everyone down the dark and damp streets of King’s Row. Tracer smiled because she was happy to be home. She kind of missed normal houses because the Watchpoint was a bit crazy at times. 

Grace had her eyes locked on the giant clock tower that was visible from all angles in King’s Row. When Tracer noticed how infatuated Grace was with the clock, she leaned in and whispered to her useless facts about Big Ben. 

Grace didn’t care about Big Ben. She was checking the time and watching as the digital hands as they moved closer to the mark of 9:30pm. It was now only 9:01pm (she saw the hand move a bit).

Winston used his gorilla strength to open up a garage. Inside the garage was a payload. Everyone groaned because they thought that they would have to move the payload but Winston just opened a compartment that contained the reaction beads and carbon launchers. 

 

“Winston,” Mei whispered. “Why are you being so secretive?” She asked as Winston placed $40 in the compartment in place of the reaction beads and carbon launchers. 

“Because this stuff is kind of illegal.” Winston closed the compartment and exited the garage and closed the door as quietly as he could. “Alright let's go.”

(Roundabout music starts now)

Grace took another glance at the clock. It was 9:05 and she needed to find a way to stall Winston without making it obvious but she couldn’t think fast enough. They all reached the building that the ship was on and everyone had to figure out how to get up.

Suddenly, there was a loud shout from a familiar Spanish voice. “¡Winston!” 

(to be continued)


	56. The Intense Battle

“¡Winston!” Sombra shouted. Winston’s group turned around to face Talon. Sombra pointed an accusing finger at him. “¡We want you locked up, science ape!” 

Genji began laughing hysterically. It wasn’t because Sombra called Winston an ape. It was because of last chapter’s ending. “Was that a JoJo reference‽” he wheezed. 

Sombra lowered her hand in confusion and then Moira started laughing. Reaper struggled to keep his composure. Nobody but Moira knew of his love for anime. 

Sombra called them weebs under her breath and lifted her finger again to continue her dramatic dialogue. “¡Winston, you should be in jail!” She shouted. 

Genji and Tracer readied their weapons, Mei prepared an ice wall, Grace damage boosted Genji, and Winston stood in shock. (Genji had to hide the fact that he replaced his shurikens with fidget spinners as a meme.)

“Why Winston?” Tracer called out. 

“Because he killed Widowmaker...” Reaper growled angrily. “With science!” He sobbed and Moira tried to comfort him the best she could. 

Mei and Junkrat locked eyes and Junkrat mouthed the words “I’m sorry,” and Mei shrugged. 

“What are you going to do, turn him in yourselves?” Genji smiled under his mask. “You are also wanted criminals.” 

Sombra gasped because she was offended. “¿What did we ever do?” 

Tracer counted on her fingers all the things that Talon has done. They break windows, they steal money, they break into other people’s houses, their sense of fashion is a crime, and they kill people. 

“¡We weren't the ones to kill someone!” Sombra argued. 

“What about my boy, Roadhog?” Junkrat asked quietly. Everyone turned to him making him feel dumb. “Doomfist punched him and now he’s gone.” 

Doomfist made that weird “oh no” frog looking face. Everyone looked at him. He had to explain himself. He cleared his throat and said, “He didn’t bow down to me correctly.” 

Everyone erupted with loud shouts of anger. They were all yelling at Doomfist because killing someone for not doing something well is unacceptable. Then, Winston used the argument that he killed Widowmaker in self defence and then everyone was yelling at him. 

All of a sudden, some guy pulled open his window and leaned out. “Will you guys just fight already‽” He was holding a phone so he could record the fight. 

Everyone looked up at the guy with questioning faces. Then, Genji threw his (fidget spinner) shurikens and they hit Sombra in the stomach. She gasped and then hacked her gun into existence. The battle began. 

Winston put down a shield as Sombra shot at Genji. Genji jumped up in the air and did a sweet ninja move while shooting more fidget spinners at Talon. He left Moira and Reaper in awe with his awesomely sweet anime ninja moves. Moira threw out her orb of feel good once she realized that half her team was ouched by Genji’s fidget shurikens.

Everyone scattered around the map fighting one another. Sombra hacked Winston so that he couldn’t use Photosynthesis again. Grace stayed close behind Winston keeping him healed as Reaper continued shooting at him. His guns began to litter the streets and everyone was tripping over them. 

Mei and Junkrat tried their hardest to avoid each other. They felt bad just fighting the enemy team. They brushed against one another and time seemed to slow down for a minute. They looked apologetically into each other's eyes. 

Out of nowhere, Tracer biped and zipped up to Junkrat and pushed him down. “I got you, Mei!” She shouted before placing a pulse bomb on Junkrat and retracing back to where she was 10 seconds ago. 

“NO!” Mei screamed as the bomb went off. She made an ice wall between them and the fight with tears in her eyes. She fell down as she ran towards Junkrat and crawled the rest of the way to him. 

Junkrat looked crispier than normal because of Tracer’s bomb. Mei put her ear over Junkrat’s chest to listened for a heartbeat. Nothing. She sobbed and said “no” over and over again as she tried to give him CPR but she was never taught how.


	57. Tragedy Strikes

There was a loud thud against the ice wall. Genji had pinned Reaper to it. He held is katana in prime stabbing position. “Omae wa mou shindeiru.” Genji said as he lifted his katana. 

Reaper recognized the meme but then he remembered that Genji was Japanese and probably didn’t intend to make a meme but Reaper took his chances. He wanted to die cool. “Nani!” he shouted. 

Genji’s blade stopped before reaching Reaper’s throat. “Wait, you know that meme?” He asked. 

“Of course I do. It’s from Hokuto no Ken.” Reaper replied. “Also one of the greatest memes of all time!” 

They both shared a laugh before Genji collapsed because Moira accidentally sent out her orb of ouch instead of her orb of feel good. Reaper felt the need to kneel down and help Genji because he had made a new friend but it was too late. 

Reaper looked around. Tracer was on her last bit of health. She was zipping in circles until she tripped on one of Reaper’s gun. Just the fall alone killed her. Winston was reloading his zap gun and it took so long that Doomfist punched him to death. Mei and Grace where nowhere to be found. 

Grace waited. Three people were dead but it was only 9:15. She watched as the death markers times got closer to their end. She sighed because she wanted to wait for Daddy Forgiveness to arrive but if she let her teammates die, Mercy wouldn’t let her even close to Gibraltar. 

Grace floated down from her perch on a building. Talon watched as she glided down to the ground. Once her heels touched the stone streets of King’s Row, she lifted her hand. “Heroes never die!” She shouted and everyone was back to life. 

Talon stared in shock. They had never seen Mercy do that so they ran away because they were scared. Reaper hesitated before running past Genji. He felt his face heat up after Genji was fully restored but he still ran away with his team. 

Everything was quiet until Mei’s ice wall broke and her soft sobs could be heard. Everyone ran to her side. 

“Mei!” Tracer called. “The blast didn’t get you did it?” she asked. 

Mei spun around with tears streaming down her face. “No but it got him!” she snapped. Everyone looked at each other with confusion. “This is my boyfriend!” Mei sobbed. 

Everyone gasped. “I-I’m sorry I didn’t know!” Tracer whimpered. She knelt down and held Mei’s shoulders apologetically but Mei shoved her away. 

“Grace, can you revive him?” Genji asked Grace. 

“Resurrection is my ultimate.” Grace sighed as she eyed Big Ben once again. “The charge is currently 5%... it’s also far too late now.” 

Mei began to sob once more as she hugged Junkrat’s corpse. Everyone watched awkwardly for a minute before Winston stepped forward. “We’ll give him a proper burial.” He said as he gently picked up Junkrat and super jumped up to the top of the building. He jumped back down to retrieve Mei as everyone else was finder their own ways up. 

They all sat in uncomfortable silence as Winston started up the ship. Tracer sulked in the corner because she felt horrible for what she did and Mei went to the bathroom to cry. Genji carefully put Junkrat in a Hefty® Extra Strong trash bag. 

Eventually, Winston got tired of flying so he landed the secret Overwatch ship on another building but in a different location that wasn’t a map and went to bed. Soon after, Genji and Tracer followed. Grace checked on Mei by putting her ear up to the bathroom door. Mei wasn't crying anymore so she assumed that she had cried herself to sleep.


	58. Eavesdropping

The news of McCree and Hanzo’s divorce had spread across the Watchpoint like a wildfire overnight. In the morning, Hanzo started moving all of McCree’s things out of his room. Clemency volunteered to help but she was too weak to pick up any of the boxes that were full of McCree’s cowboy posters, so Hanzo got Pharah to help instead. 

Pharah constantly scanned her surroundings as she carried boxes of McCree’s multi-colored shawls and boots to the room he was staying in. She didn’t want to run into Mercy. She wasn't ready to explain herself. She was scared of what Mercy would say especially after she ran out of the infirmary before Mercy could say anything else. 

Pharah entered McCree’s room expecting only him to be in there sound asleep like normal. Instead, Mercy was in the room as well, giving McCree breakfast. Pharah froze and accidentally dropped the boxes she was holding and alerted Mercy of her presence. 

“Ph-Pharah!” Mercy blushed. 

Pharah clumsily picked up McCree’s shawls that were once folded neatly by Hanzo and threw them back in the box. “I’m sorry.” She laughed nervously. She quickly pushed the boxes aside and spun around to leave. 

Pharah could hear Mercy’s heels clicking behind her as she tried to catch up to Pharah. Pharah tried her best to ignore Mercy and out speed walk her but Mercy had her Guardian Angel ability. Pharah gave up and turned to face her crush. 

“Pharah, I don’t want our friendship to be ruined because of your feelings towards me!” Mercy was careful not to touch Pharah’s arm because that would make things more awkward between them at that moment. 

Pharah looked down. “I’m sorry… I know you have a boyfriend.” 

“You shouldn’t be sorry for who you like.” Mercy grinned. “Let’s just… stay friends, alright?” 

Just then, they heard voices coming from the room they were standing in front of. Once Mercy realized they were standing in front of the Mercys’ room, she furrowed her eyebrows as she leaned in closer to listen. 

“Yeah, we know Grace is a disappointment.” Pity chirped. 

“I didn’t say she was a disappointment.” A deep and handsome voice said from a communicator (Not as handsome as Doomfist’s though) 

Mercy gasped and covered her mouth because that voice was Daddy Forgiveness’. Pharah opened her mouth to ask what was wrong but Mercy held up her finger to silence her. 

Daddy spoke again, “At least she’s not as bad as you three, you’re not doing anything!”

The twins looked saddened, “Stop being mean to us Daddy!”

“Ugh.” Mercy and Daddy Forgiveness said at the same time for the same reason. They both kinda hated the name Daddy for obvious reasons, but Daddy Forgiveness was kinda stuck with the name.

“Anyways, I’m coming over there.” Forgiveness said. 

“You’re coming here‽” The twins asked in shock. 

“When?” Pity asked.

“Why?” Charity also asked. 

“Soon and because you guys can’t do anything right.” Forgiveness sighed. “How’s Mercy?” His voice was a slight angered growl as he said his once favorite daughter’s name. 

“She still hates us.” Charity piped cheerfully. Pity flicked her sister’s nose. 

Forgiveness ended the call after sarcastically saying “Wonderful.” The twins both exchanged worried glances at one another before throwing their communicator aside and started rummaging through a box of old guns they found. 

Mercy pulled her head away from the door and ran down the hall. Pharah followed close behind. “What’s happening, Mercy?” She called after her. 

“We’re in trouble. So much trouble.” Mercy gasped as she ran towards the infirmary.


	59. Perfect Plan

“We’ve lost two members of Talon in one week to Overwatch!” Doomfist slammed his coffee cup down on the floor breaking it into pieces. Good thing he can drink scalding hot cream water with one sip because it was empty. 

Everyone was sitting criss cross applesauce on the ground of Sombra’s apartment bearly awake. Doomfist woke them up super early so that they could plan a powerful revenge attack on Overwatch. 

“Wait, who was the other one?” Moira yawned. 

“Junkrat.” Reaper replied as he tiredly lifted his coffee mug up to his mask and let its contents drip onto the floor. His mask was blocking the way to his lips. 

“Who?” 

“¡We’re not going to let Overwatch hurt us anymore!” Sombra was wide awake with rage. “Doomfist and I stayed up all night working up the perfect plan to exterminate them.” 

Doomfist rolled out some valentines day wrapping paper with the plans written out on the back with a green RoseArt marker.

“Ok, so they’re here in Attacker Spawn A,” Sombra pointed at the map of the Watchpoint “But also in all of it.” She ran her finger around the map in a circle. 

“So we need to be big beefy boys to infiltrate it successfully.” Doomfist stated. 

“I’m already a big beefy boy.” Reaper crossed his arms. He was kind of grumpy from being awake so early. He was not a morning person. 

“Okay but not all of us are.” Sombra rolled her eyes. “So here’s the plan. I will hack all of us so we get super buffs because there’s four of us and at least 12 of them.” 

“When we get swole, we’ll just go over to the Watchpoint.” Doomfist drew a line from the terrible drawing of Sombra’s apartment to the mountain that the Watchpoint was in. They were pretty much next door neighbors. “And then-” Doomfist was interrupted by Sombra shooting the map. 

“That.” 

“Is that it?” Moira asked. 

“Pretty much, this is our last ditch effort.” Sombra sat back down from shooting the map. “We have no other supplies, contacts or access points we can try, this is most literally our only option.”

“Ah.” Reaper said. 

“You have no plan!” Moira was peeved. “No wonder you suck!” 

Sombra gasped. “¡No u!” 

“You’re too impulsive.” Moira began, “You don’t take the time to fully plan out things, you just go in and do it. That’s why Widow and that blond kid died.” She ignored Sombra’s amazing comeback. 

“What’s a plan?” Doomfist asked jokingly. 

Moira rolled her eyes. “If we want to get revenge on Overwatch, we’re going to need a real plan.” she said. 

“What’s your idea?” Reaper asked. 

Then Moira spent the next 45 minutes explaining her master plan while Sombra pouted like a child. She sat back and acted like she didn’t care until Moira complemented the idea of super buffing the team. Sombra was still too stubborn to admit that Moira’s plan was the most genius thing she ever heard. 

“We’ll meet back up here in a few hours, you go get whatever you need to win Moira.” Doomfist muttered whilst walking into Sombra’s computer corner to get ultra beefy.

Moira clapped her hands together, now that they had a plan there wasn’t a 100% chance of death. “Alright Reaper, we need to go to Nepal,” she said.


	60. Roadhog Ascends Further

Meanwhile in Heaven, Roadhog was standing on the cloud top looking at the face of God himself. God was apparently terminally obese. 

“Welcome to my home, Roadhog” God said. His voice sounded like 12 harps playing at once in different formations. 

“Um, actually my name is Mak-” Roadhog began to correct God, before put a finger on Roadhog’s mask. 

“We have much to discuss, there’s no time for things like names, man.” God gestured towards a cloud pavilion in the center of the cloud. God gently floated his 800 pound figure to the pavilion, into a chair the size of the Mississippi River. Roadhog just walked like a normal person. 

Once Roadhog arrived, he sat in his own Mississippi sized chair across from God. God said while looking out onto the rest of Heaven below him, ”Ah beautiful isn’t it, it’s almost sad that I have to retire.”

Roadhog barely heard God say this, as he had noticed some books on the table in the middle of the pavilion. The books all had different titles which include, The Real Christianbuddist Bible (with subtitles saying: We Swear it’s 100% real this time), The Book of Pure Horror (it radiated the purest forms of fear and was completely black) and The Book of the Dead. The Book of the Dead caught Roadhog’s attention. 

God kept speaking as if Roadhog had replied to his previous statement, “But nobody can work forever, that would suck. Now that you’re here I think I can finally pass on the torch.”

Roadhog barely registered this statement, and he picked up the Book of The Dead. Once he opened it, he found that it worked similarly to a group chat at the end of the book, the name of a person and where they are going shows up at the last page. It went fast, but not fast enough for Roadhog. He noticed something very frightening…

God continued, “Of course I can’t give you all the power in the world without you understanding all of my powe-” God was stopped by Roadhog throwing the Book of the Dead at God’s obese head.

“Bro what was that for man.” God exclaimed with a period because he was too chill for exclamation marks. 

Roadhog responded in an equally chill manner, “Sorry, I needed to get your attention. I noticed that my boi Junkrat is pretty dead, can you change that for me cuz I’m like your successor or something.”

God pondered this question, and responded, “Naw he’s not a part of my plans dude, but you can bring him back to life when you get all my abilities.” 

Roadhog shrugged and accepted Junkrat’s fate.

A few hours later, Roadhog was learning from God the art of creating new universes on a nearby cloud cliff, and Roadhog’s patience had run out. He interrupted God to ask, “How am I even supposed to get your power?”

God answered cautiously, “Um, whoever kills me inherits my power. So you’ll have to find a way to kill me.”

Then Roadhog hooked God off the cliff. Just like that, Roadhog became the new God of the Universe. He felt nothing for a second, until a divine light began to escape from his eyeballs.

 

Junkrat opened his eyes to see a trash ceiling above him. He was in a trash coffin, that much was to be expected after he most certainly died because of that British twit. What Junkrat didn’t understand was why he was capable of thought. He decided to try and forget what he saw for the few hours he was dead and attempted to open the coffin {bag}.


	61. Rise

“Mei, please come out!” Tracer begged, slamming her fist on the bathroom door. “I have to go!” 

“No!” Mei was still crying. The second she woke up she burst into tears and that woke everyone else up. 

Genji left early because he wanted to go to Nepal and be a Christianbuddist and not deal with everyone else's problems. Nobody knew how he got off the ship. There was a secret password that only Winston knew (it was PeaNUTBUTTer29).

Winston shook his head in frustration as he changed his password (It was now Thiccston29). “Can’t you just retrace back to when you didn’t have to go?” He asked Tracer.

“Oh, you’re right.” Tracer said then retraced. “I feel way better now!” She smiled but she could still feel the inevitable. 

Grace sat at a table tapping her fingers against it to William Tell Overture: Final. She felt a little sick because she wasn’t able to stall the team long enough for Daddy Forgiveness to arrive. She was scared of what he would say once they see each other again. Forgiveness wasn’t a very forgiving person. That’s ironic, isn’t it? 

Grace snapped out of her thoughts as Tracer called her name. “Grace, come here! You’re good with depressed people right?” She asked. 

“Of course.” Grace forced a sweet smile. 

“Mind helping Mei get out of the loo?” Tracer pointed behind her to the bathroom. 

Grace stood up, holding back a frustrated sigh. Before she could even take a step, the trash bag containing Junkrat’s corpse jolted to life. “This isn’t funny you damn trash goblins!” the Australian shouted as he kicked at the walls of the Hefty® Extra Strong trash bag. Winston jumped over to Junkrat and helped him remove the bag. Junkrat popped out of the bag gasping for air and trash fell out too. 

“Junkrat?” Mei sniffed from inside the bathroom. 

“Mei!” Junkrat gasped. 

Mei kicked the door down. It almost hit Tracer but she used her zip ability to dodge the attack. Mei and ran towards Junkrat with tears in her eyes. Winston puked in the corner while Junkrat and Mei held each other in a sweet embrace. 

“I thought you were dead!” Mei sniffed as she pulled away from Junkrat. 

“I was.” Junkrat smiled. “But I’m not anymore!”

“How does that even work?” Grace questioned. 

“I have no idea!” Junkrat beamed before he pulled Mei close to him once more and placed a kiss on top of her forehead. 

Winston finished crying in the corner as he ejected matter from the stomach through his mouth. He wiped his mouth and took a sip of dried Great Value Walmart space water.

“Now that this story has taken a happy turn...” Winston began holding back another wave of stomach matter once he saw Junkrat and Mei kissing and hugging again. “let’s go out for some celebratory breakfast, shall we?”


	62. Celebratory Breakfast

Everything was hunky-dory for the small group of Overwatch members plus Junkrat. They all went to Dairy Queen for breakfast. Tracer had apologized to Junkrat for pulse bombing him and Mei apologized to Tracer for being so mad.. 

Winston put on some headphones and listened to science podcasts as Tracer asked endless questions about how Junkrat and Mei met. He stared out the window listening to Tim Berners-Lee’s brain and Vsauce talk about why dogs don’t have opposable thumbs. 

Suddenly a buff pink haired lesbian looking lady entered the Dairy Queen wearing an employee uniform. She was carrying a Graviton Converter like it was a piece of paper. She entered the restaurant and Winston lowered the volume on his podcast. 

“Sorry. I had weight lifting school to teach.” The woman explained to the other woman that was already working. “My car is too small to fit it.” 

Grace glanced up from her uneaten chicken basket that she had been staring at. She was too nervous to eat. She was supposed to be the perfect sister after Mercy stopped being the perfect one. She wasn’t allowed to fail Forgiveness. 

Winston silently slid out of his seat as Grace observed him. He walked right up to the pink haired lady. “That’s a pretty cool Graviton Converter.” He pointed at the machinery in the woman’s arms. 

“Thank you. But it’s not Graviton Converter. It is Particle Cannon.” The woman shook her head. 

Winston looked over the Particle Cannon. Even if it wasn’t the right thing, he could make it the right thing from leftover items from past science experiments. “Where did you get it?” He asked.

The pink haired woman raised an eyebrow. “It’s from Russia. You cannot get it.” 

Winston looked down sadly. “How... unfortunate.

Winston decided that he had enough interaction with strangers for one day, so he returned back his table. He began to wonder if the black hole cannon was even worth it anyway. The Gravitation converter was the final piece that he needed. He thought that he could buy it online but the pink haired chick said he couldn't get it because it was from Russia. 

Junkrat and Mei were making kissy faces while Tracer took pictures of them for Mei’s instagram page. Winston was going to put on his headphones before he tossed his cookies but Grace lightly tapped his leg with her foot. “Just steal it.” She whispered. 

Winston gasped. He looked up to see that the lady left her particle cannon outside of the employee door because it was too thicc. It was the perfect opportunity. He thought for a moment. He already stole something from a university that could dox him. He didn’t need the Russians after him. 

Then, he looked back at Junkrat and Mei. He really didn't want to go all the way to Volskaya Industries to get the parts needed to build the graviton converter. He didn’t want to spend another second with them. 

Winston cleared his throat. “So, are you guys done?” 

Tracer handed Mei her phone back. “We’ve been done for 15 minutes.” 

“Oh okay, I need your help.” Winston whispered. 

“With what?” Mei whispered also. 

“Why are we whispering?” Junkrat asked in a whisper. 

“I need your help stealing that big gun thing over there.” Winston pointed behind everyone and they turned their heads at the same time. “No don’t make it look obvious.” Winston blurted in a whisper. 

“How do you expect us to do that‽” Mei whisper yell-aksed.

“I don’t know, we just pick it up and go.” Winston shrugged. 

After they all came up with a plan, Junkrat was sent up to the register to pay. He had no idea how to read or how money exactly worked. It was perfect because he would buy them all more time to steal the particle cannon. 

Everyone else hoisted up the particle cannon. It was legit like trying to pick up Thor’s hammer. Eventually, they lifted it up. It took 6 minutes for everyone minus Junkrat to get it out to the Secret Overwatch ship. 

“Which one’s the 5 again?” Junkrat asked before Tracer zipped in.

“Let’s go.” She grabbed his hand and zipped out. 

“Wait you didn’t pay!” The employee yelled. 

“Sorry Elizabeth!” Junkrat called out. (Elizabeth gave Junkrat her name because I wanted a reason to use my friend’s name ((mayby employee Elizabeth liked Junkrat idk)))

Everyone cheered once they were all back on the ship and on their way back to the Watchpoint. This mission arc is finally over.


	63. Weeby Interaction

Genji felt bad for leaving his team without telling anyone but he really wanted to do bible study. He usually went to bible study after a battle because it soothed his nerves like he still had any. 

When Genji entered the Nepal premises the entire town shouted, “Peace be upon you!” Nepal was full of thousands of yattas. Genji walked through the village and heard the same voice over and over again from different yattas. It was crazy. 

“Greetings, Genji.” Earthyatta floated out of his house. 

“Greetings!” Genji dabbed as he walked by. Earthyatta awkwardly dabbed too, even though he didn’t quite understand the dab but he did want to be hip with the kids. 

More yattas greeted Genji as he walked through the village. Djinnyatta and Rayatta both dabbed as Genji went by as if there were some magical force that caused everyone to dab within a 6-foot radius around him. 

Sanzangyatta started floating next to Genji. “Didn’t Zenyatta tell you to start doing bible study on your own?” He asked. 

“Nani‽” Genji stopped walking. “Who told you?” 

“The whole village knows, Genji.” Sanzangyatta sighed despite the fact he has no lungs. 

“So why are you back, friend?” Harmonyatta snuck up behind Genji. 

“I need to…” Genji paused thinking of an excuse. “Ask Zenyatta something.” 

“What must you ask him?” Harmonyatta asked. 

“It is a secret.” Genji put a finger up to where his lips would be and shushed the yattas. Then he continued walking forward but at a faster pace. He feared the hive mind. 

Suddenly, Genji noticed a familiar figure that wasn’t a yatta. It was Reaper! Genji contemplated on whether or not he should talk to Reaper. He didn’t want to waste any more time in the village because he wanted to get Zenyatta to be his bible study master once more as soon as possible. However, Genji was curious as to why Reaper was in Nepal. 

Reaper was standing outside of Fuelyatta’s health shop. He looked like he was loitering, the worst crime of them all. Genji was hesitant to approach Reaper, ashe wasn’t sure if the rest of Talon was nearby or not; but he couldn't help himself. He needed to talk to a fellow Otaku. 

Reaper obviously didn’t know how to respond when he saw a metallic green ninja double jumping in his general direction. Reaper flinched as Genji made his final jump and landed with a very dramatic dab. The ninja winds blew his cloak back and forth. His cloak was really loud; he needed to get that fixed. Reaper prepared himself for a good ol’ bap from the ninja boy but nothing happened. 

“Yo!” Genji waved. 

“What are you doing here?” Reaper asked still preparing himself for an attack. 

“No, what are you doing here?” Genji’s voice was friendly and he showed no sign of aggression. Genji wondered why Reaper was just waiting outside of the shop but remembered it was literally the size of a porta-potty. 

Reaper finally decided to let his guard down. “I can’t tell you,” Reaper said, crossing his arms. He was a loyal member of Talon and if someone from Overwatch found out their plan to get revenge on them it would ruin it. To his surprise, Genji didn’t push the matter. 

“What do you watch?” Genji was very straight forward. 

“What?” Reaper raised a nonexistent eyebrow. 

“Anime. You got my anime reference so you have to be some sort of Otaku.” Genji laughed. “You even knew where the meme was from.” 

Reaper hesitated. Another weeb was standing before him asking about what animes he’d seen. A weeb off could happen if he said the wrong thing. He had to be careful to avoid that horrible scenario. One man’s treasured anime could be another man’s trash anime. After he realized he was taking too long, Reaper blurted out the sacred words, “Kawaii Death Desu!” 

“Kawaii Death Desu?” Genji repeated quietly. “I used to watch it all the time with my brother! I only got to season 10 though.” His robotic voice wasn’t angry at all. It stayed smooth, happy, and autotuned. 

Reaper informed Genji that the seasons after season 10 where the best ones. They talked back and forth about anime for 7 minutes going from one topic to another. They both agreed that Haihiru (ハイヒール) from Kawaii Death Desu was the best waifu and Sebastian from Black Butler was the best husbando. 

The door to the shop flew open and Moira bursted out holding hundreds of yatta orbs. “Reaper! Let’s get out of here!” She shouted. She obviously didn’t pay {and why would she}. “The whole village is after us. They have a hive mind!” 

Reaper reacted like a deer in headlights. If he was seen with Genji they’d both get a bap. When he looked to his right, the cyborg ninja was gone. There were puffs of smoke around where Genji was standing. Reaper smiled in relief before taking half of Moira’s yatta balls as they both ran as fast as they could to get out of Nepal.


	64. The Hive Mind

“We deeply apologize, Zenyatta…” Carbonyatta bowed to Zenyatta. “He got past our defences.” 

“We aren’t exactly defence heroes.” Skullyatta added. 

Zenyatta and Redyatta where doing their daily meditation. They were floating above some pillows which were kind of pointless if you think about it because they float. They refused to move until they heard Genji knock on the door. 

Zenyatta sighed robotically. “Let him in.” He said with a wave of his hand. 

The two other yattas exchanged emotionless glances before opening the doors. As soon as the door was cracked open, Genji zipped inside. “Zenyatta! I am here for bible study!” He shouted. 

“I told you to start doing it on your own, Genji.” Zenyatta said. 

“Yeah but I refused to listen.” Genji shrugged. 

“Genji, I’m serious.” Zenyatta yattad. “Now that I have a botfriend, I don’t have time to do bible study with you.” 

Redyatta was eyeing Genji. One of Redyatta’s special powers was that could sense emotions, and Genji was emitting a strange one. It was a mix of happy, sad, peeved, and something unexplainable. As Zenyatta and Genji were bickering, Redyatta interrupted them. “Who was the guy you were talking to?” he asked. 

Genji paused. “How did you know about that?” he asked

Zenyatta pulled Redyatta into a corner and they had a small conversation. All Genji could make out of it was “You didn't tell him?” and “I thought he’d freak out and leave and deal with his self hatred alone.” before they started talking in their Omnic language. Genji regreted not doing the Duolingo for it. 

After a few minutes of beeps and boops and what sounded like sobs but in typewriter, Zenyatta and Redyatta turned around. “Genji…” Zenyatta began. “You’re kinda part of the hive mind.” 

Genji gasped as Suspense Accent 03 played and the camera zoomed up to his face. “You are lying! I am not even able to read your thoughts!” 

“That’s now how it works.” Redyatta said.

Genji then asked, “Then how does it work?”

“We might as well start at the basics. Because Zenyatta adopted you, he developed the hive mind with you, and his hive mind spreads through the entire village.” 

“Gross.” Genji remembered all the terrible things he’s done on the internet. Like watch Fortnight creepypasta dramatic readings at 4AM. 

Redyatta was still curious about the emotion Genji had. It was different now because he was freaking out about the hive mind. He started to ask his question again but Genji started his dialogue first. 

“I still do not believe you. What’s my favorite number?” He asked. 

“25” Zenyatta asked instantaneously. 

“Why?” Genji was still skeptical 

“Because it’s funnier than 24” 

Genji gave up and accepted the fact that his bible study buddy could read his thoughts. Redyatta decided to ask his question once more. 

“Just some guy that got an anime reference that was also a meme.” Genji shrugged.

“So, you have a crush?” Zenyatta asked.

“Ew no why would you think that?” Genji used his deflection ability for no reason. 

“That happened the last time someone understood your memes.” Zenyatta remembered back to when Genji talked for hours on end about Mercy because she understood his Ugandan Knuckles joke. 

“No, I get the feeling it’s more like a Frush.” Redyatta stated. A frush is a word I, the god of this world aka the author, just made up to move the story along. Frush /frəSH/: To want to be someone’s friend. Genji has a Frush on Reaper. 

“He is cool because he also watches anime and he’s not my brother.” Genji dabbed but his happiness quickly faded. “He is from Talon though.” 

Genji’s frush reminded Redyatta of that one Hallmark movie he watched with Zenyatta about the two rival Christmas store owner’s children falling in love even though they weren’t supposed to even go near each other but the power of love and Christmas spirit brought them together. 

“I’m sure you can become great friends eventually.” Redyatta assured Genji. 

Genji smiled under his mask. “You are right. I am sure we will meet again.” Genji dabbed once more. “I wonder if he is still here.” He thought to himself before dashing out of the room. 

Redyatta and Zenyatta knew Reaper wasn’t in Nepal anymore, but they didn’t want to tell Genji that because he would have stayed with them longer and that would suck.


	65. Preparation

Mercy was acting like the world was about to end. She prepared medical supplies, barricaded windows, stole all of Torbjörn’s canned foods and hid them in the secret Watchpoint panic room and even forced Bastion to camp the front door. 

“Aren’t you being a bit over dramatic?” Emily asked. She was leaning against the wall next to Bastion. 

Mercy scribbled down a few things on a notepad and handed it to Bastion. “He hates me. Who knows what he’s going to do when he gets here.” 

Mercy’s handwriting was usually beautiful 3rd grade style cursive but since she was in a hurry, her handwriting looked like a typical doctor's. The notepad had instructions that Bastion had to follow until Forgiveness arrived. 

1\. If my sisters ask what you’re doing don’t say anything  
2\. Don’t move, you’re pretty good at that  
3\. Don’t let anyone in or out  
4\. He looks like this...

Then she drew a fairly good picture of Forgiveness but with devil horns and his tongue sticking out like some dummy. His eyes were crossed but that wasn’t intentional. Mercy just can’t draw eyes right. 

Pharah landed next to Mercy holding a few planks of wood. “I finished boarding up the high windows.” She also thought Mercy was being a bit over dramatic but she didn’t want to not help her. 

Suddenly the door clicked open and Mercy screamed, “He’s here!” and frantically damage boosted everyone next to her.

“No they’re back!” Emily beamed when she saw Tracer waving at her through the window parts of the door. “Why would some guy just randomly open the door without knocking anyway?” She shrugged as she opened the door to let everyone in. 

Tracer immediately zipped into Emily’s arms and they hugged as they told each other how much they missed each other three times {but no more than three}. Bastion made a small sad mechanical noise. 

Winston entered after them and asked, “Can you go get Reinhardt? I need a beefy boy to help me with this.” Winston pointed at the particle cannon behind him that they all somehow managed to drag to the front door from the ship. 

Grace nodded before spinning around to find Reinhardt. She avoided Mercy’s gaze because she could sense the anger by just existing in the same room as her. 

Mercy sighed but it was more of a growl. “We still need to prepare.” She walked away and Pharah hesitated before following her. She scanned the team and didn’t see Genji. She was surprised that Mercy didn’t freak out about that. It was probably for the best because Mercy didn’t need more problems to worry about. 

“Who’s that?” Emily pointed past Winston to the trash boy holding Mei’s hand. 

Suddenly, the loud clunking of Reinhardt’s armor (he never takes it off) approached the group and Ana was riding on his shoulders. “O M G Mei is that your boyfriend‽’ She exclaimed before jumping off of her 7 foot tall boyfriend (there was no fall damage so her frail but powerful grandma body didn’t get harmed).

Everyone that didn’t know Junkrat was Mei’s boyfriend gasped in perfect harmony. Reinhardt remembered Junkrat from the first fight in the story. He was from Talon “How do we know he isn’t a spy‽” He spoke in only yells. 

“Because Talon isn’t that smart!” Mei yelled back to defend Junkrat.

Everyone that went on the mission nodded in agreement. “Yeah, even with a hacker and a geneticist on their team, they really aren't that bright.” Tracer laughed. 

Ana shook Junkrat’s hand. “I’m Mei’s mom. I’m everyone’s mom,” she said. When she let go she proceeded to pour hand sanitizer all over her hands. “We should get to know each other,” she smiled. What she really meant was “I’m going to interrogate you and if you don’t meet the standards you’re going to get bapped.” 

Winston almost puked as Reinhardt reached for the particle cannon. Even his precision German engineered armor wasn’t strong enough to carry the cannon alone. With Winston’s help it was a little bit easier but it still look them 30 minutes to get to the lab.


	66. The Thinker

Meanwhile, Mercy was mumbling to herself when Pharah entered the infirmary. “Pharah! We need your rocket launcher!” Mercy said suddenly. 

“I-I don’t have it. I sold it to Cle-” Pharah stopped herself from saying one of the forbidden names. “I needed money to pay for our Dairy Queen lunch.”

Mercy pinched the bridge of her nose. “Alright… maybe if we station Torbjörn’s turret somewhere…” 

“You never explained why you’re so scared of your dad.” Pharah sat herself down on one of the hospital beds. “It can’t be as bad as my issues with my mom, can it?” she joked

“You don’t understand. Forgiveness wants nothing but a potg.” Mercy refused to call him daddy.

“What’s so bad about that?”

“Theis strategy wants to use…” Mercy’s expression grew dark as she explained his plan. She then explained that her and her sisters weren’t even natural humans. They were created by their father without the help of a mother. Forgiveness is both the original support and a living health pack. 

Pharah was trying to wrap her head around some of the things Mercy had said. The only thing she could think of was “Wait, how does that work.” She said as much out loud.

“I’m not exactly sure. I’ve never been curious enough to find out. I know we are all humans, at least physically, albeit with some healing magic,” Mercy said without really paying attention. 

“Oh, I see.” Pharah finally let the reality of Forgiveness’ plan sink into her. 

“Who knows what they’re planning.” Mercy held her head in her hands. “I can’t even fathom how they’re going to achieve the first part.” 

They both went silent as they tried to think of ways to protect themselves. Mercy’s eyes were glazed over with intense thought and her face was painted with worry. Pharah wondered why Mercy was so stressed at this when she could handle babysitting 5 grown adults crying during battles. 

Pharah found herself staring. She felt like she was looking at a piece of art. Not because Mercy was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen {and she was} but because Mercy was standing perfectly still. She looked like The Thinker but not sitting. Mercy’s arms were crossed and one hand was holding her chin up as she stared at nothing. 

Suddenly, Mercy’s body jolted to life and her worried expression became even more worried. “McCree! He hasn't died since my sisters showed up!” 

“What do you mean?” Mercy’s outburst startled Pharah. 

“One of them can control it!” Mercy laughed “It sounds ridiculous but how else would they have known about him?”

“How would they know about everyone else in Overwatch? You locked them away before you became a member.” Pharah asked. 

Mercy rolled her eyes, “I’m not a complete animal, I left them in there with internet. Albeit dial up internet. I’m sure it would have taken almost the entire time they were down there to log on to American Online.”

“Oh,” Pharah replied.

Mercy moved on, “Now we just have to figure out who’s controlling the SDS in McCree before they’re plan is enacted.”

Suddenly there was the pleasant sound of the Overwatch doorbell. It sounded like the Overwatch theme but fluteified.

Rein called into the infirmary, “Hey Mercy there’s a tall black man wearing your clothes that would like to have a word with you!”

Dun dun dun


	67. Yes We Made a Character Out of Mercy’s Concept Art. Get Over It

Mercy’s blood pressure skyrocketed. She ran, faster than any person in heels could possibly run, to the foyer. Pharah followed her as fast as she could, but she was unable to keep up with the pure speed Mercy exerted. 

When Mercy got to the foyer she saw the worst possible scenario her mind was able to come up with. Her father, Daddy Forgiveness, was standing in the doorway. He had somehow gotten past all of her defences; even Bastion! In fact, he was standing there having a polite conversation with Bastion. Then he looked up at Mercy and his conversation went silent.

Daddy Forgiveness was a six foot tall man who happened to be wearing the male version of Mercy’s clothes. He was undoubtedly attractive {not to Mercy you perves, I’m talking about everybody else}. He was the second most handsome man alive, but he was barely able to shatter bones with his good looks like Doomfist could.

Mercy had a feeling of pure dread in her, enough to freeze her where she stood. She felt like she was there for years, but it was only really for like a minute or so. By that time, Forgiveness was a few feet away from her. He stopped directly in front of her.

“Hello daughter,” He said with his silky smooth voice.

Mercy broke out of her dread induced cryostasis and found her lost confidence, “I’m not going to let you terrorize any of the people here. I’ll not let you hurt any of my friends.”

Forgiveness stared at his daughter in amazement, and started laughing hysterically. “Oh you rascal, I’m not here to terrorize you or your friends! I’m here to reconnect with you!”

Mercy reverted to her t-pose face, “Say what now?”

“Mercy, my favorite daughter. Come here!” He proceeded to hug Mercy.

Mercy’s face had become her “I’m in infinite and horrible pain” face. Just then Pharah came into the room, gasping and wheezing with her hands on her knees. She held up a single finger.

“I’m here *gasp* I’m here *gasp* damn this armor is heavy.” Then Pharah looked up to see Forgiveness hugging Mercy. Pharah had never seen Forgiveness before, but judging by how similar their clothes were and how Mercy’s face looked like it was just hit by a soccer ball, it was a safe guess that he was her bespoke father. 

Pharah got serious, “What are you doing here‽”

“I’m here to see my daughters, and tell them of the revelation I mustered.”

“Oh.”

Mercy was silent through all of this. Her brain was telling her to place items in the baggage area before she had even scanned them. She was completely dumbfounded. She had always associated Forgiveness with bad stuff, and seeing him looking all lovey dovey broke her internal processor.

“Come now, your robot friend over there said there was a living room we could chat in.” He then proceeded to pick Mercy’s frozen form off the ground and lift her up like a statue. 

They sat in the Overwatch living room for like 4 minutes in absolute silence. Mercy finally got a clerk to help with the self checkout and began to speak again.

“That was some pretty good acting out there. What are you really here for?” Mercy asked.

“I’m here to do exactly as I told you, to reconcile and reconnect.” Forgiveness replied.

Mercy crossed her arms and legs in skepticism. “As if. You’re probably here to destroy us all. How did you even get out of the cave?”

Forgiveness followed in Mercy’s lead and crossed his arms and legs as well, “A good samaritan freed us from captivity. And we had just gotten American Online to load too.” He smiled good naturedly. “Fact of the matter is, being encaged gave me time to think. I came to many conclusions down there. The largest of which is that I should start taking my own name seriously; that I should forgive those who have betrayed me. This includes you. So I am not going to destroy any of you.”

Mercy’s self checkout just wouldn’t cooperate today. She sat there frozen again for a while. She eventually just said, “Ok,” and walked away. Forgiveness looked startled but he didn’t go after her. 

Mercy kept walking forward until she eventually ran headlong into Pharah. Pharah picked Mercy up like she was a teddy bear (seriously why is she getting picked up so much today) and took her to the infirmary. She sat Mercy down at a patients table like she wasn’t the doctor and then sat down herself. 

“He’s suspicious,” Pharah said good naturedly.

Mercy nodded, “We need to keep an eye on him. Frankly... I don’t believe a word he said.”


	68. Family Reunion

A little later in the day everybody was in the Dining Room eating dinner. The Mercys had just found out that their dad had arrived and were lining up to greet him in front of everybody.

“Daddy!” the twins screamed as they hugged their father.

“Ugh. Hey girls,” he said with the same enthusiasm and accent as Gru from Despicable Me. 

“Nice to see you dad! How’re things going back at home?” Clemency asked.

“Same old, same old,” he said in his normal voice.

Many at the dinner table were talking about the new arrival, and not for the reasons you think. All the women at the table were resistant to his handsome charm, on account that they had all fought Doomfist and lived to tell the tale. They spoke about how good a father he seemed to be to his kids. Mei and Junkrat were quietly having a separate conversation about how happy they were that neither of them were dead. 

Pharah and Mercy were sitting in the corner of the table, as far away from Mercy’s family as possible. They were quietly keeping their eye on Forgiveness to make sure he didn’t do anything shady.

Grace smiled for real because Forgiveness didn’t show any sign of being mad at her. Although he was very good at acting and deserved an Oscar. “I’m so glad you could make it, Daddy!” Grace chimed. 

Clemency smiled. “This place is wonderful. I’m sure you’ll like it here.” She glanced over to Hanzo. He was picking at his Torbjörn Brand® Chicken and Dumplings™ with chopsticks as he held back tears. Chicken and Dumplings reminded him of McCree and their first date at Cracker Barrel. 

After dinner, Ana allowed everyone one more hour before they had to go to bed. Winston quietly left the dinner table to secretly work on his cannon. Mercy and Pharah paid close attention to the Mercys and Forgiveness. They weren't even being subtle but the Mercys ignored it by pretending to have a super great time with their father. 

For the entire hour, the twins showcased their crayon drawings to Forgiveness while Clemency and Grace checked in with McCree. Clemency pretty much just went to see Hanzo though. Mercy rolled her eyes at the twins’ lack of artistic skill. They didn't even know what a proper color pallet looked like. 

Ana rang the bell (She used an app on her phone. So old fashioned tsk tsk) and everyone was forced to go to bed. The Mercys made space for Forgiveness to sleep but they weren't going to sleep yet. 

“So now that we don’t have Mercy and her girlfriend watching us, we can talk.” Forgiveness whispered. 

“Is it almost time?” Clemency asked. 

“Precisely. But the plan has changed slightly. Bill wants the cannon.” He looked at Grace. “It’s best to have it completed. I wasn’t really going to show up when you called because I realized it would have been all for not to steal an uncompleted cannon.” Grace sighed in relief. Finally she felt normal. She was still Daddy’s favorite. 

Pity looked up from her drawing of an orange dog with purple spots. “When can we go home?” she asked. 

“As soon as we know the cannon is finished.” Forgiveness assured Pity. 

“Good because it’s kind of boring here.” Charity sighed as she added the finishing touches to a green and orange MLP Ponysona of hers. 

“It’s not that boring…” Clemency turned away blushing. 

Charity and Pity both laughed. “That’s because you’ve got the hots for the gay guy,” they chuckled at the same time. 

Clemency’s face reddened and she went full Tsundere on her twin sisters. Suddenly Ana pounded on the door and told them to go to sleep (or else).


	69. *whispers* sneaky sneak

Mercy wasn’t in the mood to sleep. She couldn’t leave her room to spy on her sisters because Ana patrolled the halls at night to keep any tomfoolery from happening {Ana never slept, she sustained herself on the blood of the innocent}. Her body was restless and her mind was racing, thinking about all the possible horrible outcomes of having her family there while everyone was asleep and at their most vulnerable. 

Mercy nearly jumped out of her skin when there was a soft knock at her door. She quickly turned off the lights and jumped under her covers. “I-I’m asleep!” 

“It’s me!” Pharah took a risk to whisper shout form outside the room. 

Mercy sighed as she rolled herself out of bed to let Pharah in. Pharah slipped into the room like she was being chased even though she was undetected. Surprisingly she wasn’t in her armor like she always was. 

“How did you get past Ana?” Mercy asked with actual surprise.

“I’ve had to deal with Ana for like 30 years, I’m basically the only one capable of escaping,” Pharah said with pride.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“Oh, mom isn’t very good at detecting my pulse through walls like she is with the rest of you because I made it so my heart and her heart are both the same speed. That way she can’t find me.”

“How‽” Mercy asked. Even this far in the future there was no way to do what Pharah was saying.

“A lot of practice,” Pharah said with a wink, keeping a little mystery about her. “But I didn’t come here to tell you about my sneaking practices. What are we going to do about Forgiveness and his loyal band of daughters?” Pharah took a seat in one of Mercy’s armchairs.

“Hmm” Mercy proceeded to sit down too. “Well, we can’t do anything if we don’t know what they’re doing.”

“There’s something I heard while I was sneaking around their door, something about a cannon. But I have no idea what that would be about.” Pharah crossed her arms.

“Me neither. I could ask Winston in the morning, it sounds like something he’d make.” Mercy stated.

“Probably,” Pharah sunk into her armchair a little. She noticed how stressed Mercy looked. Before Mercy had to deal with any of her family, she seemed kind and calm and not often stressed. Sure not always happy, but it was difficult to stress her out. She could even deal with all the whiny crybabies in Overwatch who were constantly asking for her help. Now though, she seemed legitimately stressed for the first time Pharah had ever seen. Pharah wondered why that was, because it wasn’t just that her family was evil; Mercy had dealt with more evil. It had to be something else.

“I have to ask you a few questions. First of all, why exactly are you so scared of your father? Secondly, how are you so different from your sisters if you essentially come from the same place?” Pharah asked, uncrossing her arms and placing her elbows on her knees expectantly. 

Mercy was surprised by Pharah’s questions. Nobody had ever asked her such intimate questions before, not even Genji. She debated whether or not to even answer them, but she decided that if Pharah was going to help her, she might as well know the whole story.


	70. Deep

“Well… both questions actually have about the same answer. It all started about 15 years ago when I was 23 or so. At that time Forgiveness was a legitimate businessman. He made a bunch of medical supplies for some of the hospitals of Switzerland. He was, and still is, a medical genius; that I’ll give him. At the time I worked in one of those hospitals, as one of his medical practitioners on site. I was his favorite daughter back then, I was given a bit more freedom than the others. I had my own house at the time, my own car; everything.”

Mercy’s face became a little wispful, as if nostalgic for a past long gone, “But I was still loyal to Forgiveness above all others, even more than myself. I felt as if I owed him a debt for giving me life.”

Then Mercy’s face became more serious, “As a doctor I worked on a number of patients, subtlety using the powers given to me to save the lives of many. I thought I was giving them Forgivenesses’ mercy, which I was named after. Little did I know that Forgiveness was using me and all of his daughter, to foster a cult of complacency.” 

“Then one day, I got a patient a little different from all the rest. One of Forgiveness’ business partners actually. He knew about Forgiveness’ plans, and couldn’t condone them. I was in the room when he first confronted Forgiveness.”

Mercy felt a little queasy, but her story couldn’t stop now right when she was about to get to the most important part, “That man was later found in an alleyway, extremely hurt. He was sent to my hospital, and because of the extent of his injuries he was sent to me for treatment. I recognized him as the person who had confronted my father. Now I don’t know if it was Forgiveness himself or someone he hired, but I’m convinced that Forgiveness had something to do with his injuries ;of course I didn’t think he did at the time. Despite him being an enemy of my father, I still felt like it was job to treat him, give him the mercy he deserved so that maybe he would come to see my father’s vision of healing as we did.”

“The man was suffering extreme brain trauma and severe stress fractures in the skull. It would’ve been impossible to cure him normally without any huge complications, but I was different; I had powers. I worked for 3 long days keeping him alive, and he made a full recovery.”

“That’s about when it all changed for me. The man left my care, but he felt indebted to me; as I did to Forgiveness. He came to visit a lot, and I got to know him a bit better. We became good friends even, meeting outside of work. He was the first person besides my family that I actually had a connection with, and that changed me. I began to look at the world differently.”

“A couple of years after we first met though, something horrible happened. I was at home, with Forgiveness and the others. He began to notice my change, and asked why that was. At the time I didn’t even think that Forgiveness could’ve been behind my friends harm. I told him everything. A week after, my friend went missing. I looked for him for a long time, not really having much luck. That was until his body was found by an Overwatch reconnaissance team in the middle of a war zone.”

Pharah’s hand was over her mouth, she literally couldn’t move. 

Still Mercy’s story continued, “I was sad of course; sad and angry looking for someone or something to blame. It was then that I noticed the pattern, my father. I blamed him for my friends death. I formulated my revenge slowly. Using his own plan against him.”

“He wanted to set up a new hospital in a different continent to spread his influence. He decided that Numbani would be perfect, and that it could also serve Omnics, so that even they would be under his cult of complacency. He picked a perfect spot, a large cave that would be outfitted with the best equipment around. It was out of the way, it was perfect. We were all to go to the cave and help decorate. I had plenty of time to prepare my attack. At first I was even planning to trap myself in there as the ultimate sacrifice. But I decided that to keep the world safe from them, I would need to be on the outside doing damage control.”

“I sprung my trap the 3rd day we were there, when there was plenty of equipment; enough to keep people alive for years without food. I went outside and channeled all of my healing power towards a single focal point. The cave responded to my call, enclosing itself so that it could never be opened by conventional means. That destroyed my powers, I literally unable to heal anybody for years afterwards without using normal methods. Eventually some of it returned, albeit at a lower power level than it was before. I told everybody that my family had died there, in a cave in and nobody questioned it. I got all of Forgiveness’ estate and used it to leave my old life behind. I joined Overwatch afterwards, hoping it would provide me some clarity… and that’s basically is how I ended up here.”

Mercy was literally out of breath, and almost on the verge of tears after remembering her past. She was almost going to cry before Pharah began to speak again.

Pharah was taking shaky breath, but she was able to ask Mercy one question, “What was his name?”

Mercy was barely able to whisper his name before she broke out in tears. “Henry,” she said between sobs, “his name was Henry.”

Pharah couldn’t be stopped by the just friends barrier at this point, she went over to Mercy and hugged her and let her cry. Pharah was the literal shoulder to cry on.

“I’m so sorry Mercy. I’m so so sorry for making you talk about it,” Pharah was stroking her hair trying to get her to stop sobbing.

Mercy eventually calmed down a little. Still whimpering she said, “No it’s ok, I couldn’t have kept it a secret forever. It’s better to have talked about it than to have left it fester.”

They continued to hug for another 3 minutes, eventually Mercy pulled away, “I need to go to bed.”

Pharah was disappointed, but not surprised. She said goodbye and good night and turned to leave, but she was unable to just walk through the door. She was so moved by Mercy’s story that she turned around and said, “I promise you Mercy, I’ll never let something like that happen again. Ever in my life, not to you not to anyone.”

Suddenly, Genji burst through the door. “HEYO I JUST WALKED RIGHT PASSED ANA AND SHE DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT!” 

And everything became awkward. Pharah spun around to face the cyborg ninja. She covered her blushing face and dashed out to door. She didn’t care if she got caught by Ana. Mercy’s face was also a bright red from crying and blushing and Genji stood in the doorway shocked.


	71. Nani‽

Genji let out an awkward laugh. “What’s with her?” He asked. “What happened to you?” He gasped when he noticed Mercy’s teary face. 

Mercy frantically wiped the tears off her face. “It’s- I’m fine!” She was still in shock from Pharah’s hug and vow to protect her. Her heart beat faster at the thought of Pharah. 

Genji was curious about what happened but he didn’t want to get into it because he didn’t want to deal with female problems. He didn’t like dealing with emotion problems at all. He only knew how to make fun of insecurities with memes.

Genji wanted to cheer Mercy up without getting too emotional because he only knew how to respond in memes and that would make things worse. He pulled out his phone and logged into his alt alt account that was also his anime rp account. He posted lolcat memes and those were feel good memes for the soul. 

“*insert an image of any lolcats meme*” Genji said

“I don’t need your memes right now.” Mercy sighed. 

Genji pulled back his phone and frowned. It wasn’t like Mercy to reject his memes. Genji sighed before asking the sacred question. “What is wrong, Mercy?” 

Mercy took a breath before saying “My dad’s here.”

“That’s a bad thing?” 

“Yeah I already explained everything last chapter and I don’t want to get into it again.” 

Genji paused wandering what Mercy meant about last chapter but he decided to not care. “What about Pharah?” Mercy blushed and Genji raised an eyebrow (if he still has them idk) (ok he does) “What were you doing?” He asked. 

Realization struck Mercy and she did that anime thing where her face goes >\\\\\\\< “It’s nothing like that!” She shouted. “It’s just… she was comforting me.” Her face became darker with blush.

“You like her.” Genji didn’t sound mad at all. 

“Well, she likes me.” Mercy shrugged.

“But you like her back.” Genji teased. 

Mercy threw herself on her bed with a defeated groan. “I’m sorry, Genji. I told her that we should just be friends but then she hugged me and-”

“I understand.” Genji interrupted Mercy. Genji was a bit jealous but he wasn’t at the same time. Maybe it was because it was against his religion to get overly peeved. “Do what makes you happy. Pursue the memes that actually make you laugh.” Genji always secretly knew Mercy didn’t like his memes. 

“I hope you understand, we kinda had a middle school relationship anyway,” Mercy said with awkwardness.

“Wait we are not in middle school?” Genji said.

“Well that explains a lot,” Mercy said under her breath. Apparently, she didn’t do the best at protecting his brain when she healed him.

They both stared at each other for a bit because they had nothing else to say. It was 3x awkward. Suddenly there was a loud crash that came from somewhere in the watchpoint. Genji reached for his katana and he went to investigate.


	72. Moira’s Plan

Moira had to explain her plan for the fifth time because everyone kept forgetting it. She was stuck in a constant loop doing her face palm emote. 

Step 1: Get in. The watchpoint had a ton of places to get on the map through. The hard part would be getting inside. Good thing they have a super hacker! Sombra hacked the front door out of existence and everyone creeped inside. 

Step 2: Get rid of the command structure. Without somebody to rally behind and get carried by, Overwatch tended to falter. Ana was almost certainly the leader, and that one old guy that was sometimes there too. Doomfist would go after Ana, and Sombra would go after the old guy that has absolutely nothing to do with this story even a little bit.

Step 3: Go after the other healer, Mercy. With her gone the rest of Overwatch would likely die because of the big buffs that Doomfist and Sombra had. 

“Wait, I just remembered that Mercy was wearing something different than usual when we last faced her.” Sombra said. “¿Any idea what that was about?”

“Maybe she wanted a wardrobe change. Anyway we know where her room is anyway so that really doesn’t matter.” Moira said. “Back to the plan,”

Step 3 (cont.): Reaper and Moira would go after her. She’s notoriously difficult to kill so there would probably need to be two people on her.

Secretly Moira just wanted an excuse to keep an eye on her nephew, she wasn’t losing another one damnit!

Step 4: Kill the rest of them.

Step 5: Go home and watch Megamind and eat popcorn

“I want to watch Powerpuff Girls though!” Reaper complained.

“We’ve already had this discussion, this organization is a democracy and most of us want to watch Megamind.” Moira facepalmed.

“Ya, Megamind is a lot better than you’d think.” Doomfist added to the conversation. 

“Ugh, whatever,” Reaper said. 

They were all now creeping in the foyer. “Is the plan clear everyone?” Moira said.

“What if we need to use the restroom?” Reaper said.

“You don’t.”

“Ah.”

Everything was clear, the plan had begun.


	73. Depression Sludge

Sombra was on her way to Soldier’s room, but on the way she heard the sound of crying. It was the kind of crying you get only out of depressed people, it wasn’t the healthy kind of cry.

Sombra was entranced by the crying because she wondered why the most positive organizations in the world could have a cry. She moved toward the door with the quarantine symbol on it and the words that said “DEPRESSION ROOM: DO NOT ENTER” as if depression was something that could spread like a deadly virus.

Sombra stood before the door wondering whether or not she could go in, but she decided if there was anybody in there that they deserved a bap. She opened the door. Inside she found McCree sitting upright on his bed sobbing. 

For a moment, Sombra felt sympathy for the Overwatch cowboy guy. She couldn’t allow her emotions to get in the way of her revenge and she pointed her gun at McCree’s head. 

“Do it then… kill me.” McCree spoke. His voice was still extremely smooth for a crying man. 

Sombra raised an eyebrow. “¿What?” 

“Just kill me!” McCree began to sob again louder than before. 

“Woah dude ¿Are you okay?” Sombra lowered her gun. Just then, McCree started sobbing louder than before. He started mumbling in cowboy riddles between sobs while Sombra tried to calm him down. She didn’t need to have all of Overwatch coming to the door wondering why McCree was crying (though everyone just started ignoring it, nobody cared).

Sombra had to silence McCree somehow, or risk detection. She had to think of her extensive library of skills. She tried to think of a way to cure depression, and she found it. But no, she thought, that skill is too valuable, wasting it on a nobody like this could leave me weaker. But she decided she had no other choice than to use her super slap, thinking also eh I would still have one left. The super slap is a form of hand movement that certain women are given at birth, and could be used to cure any given disease or illness, including depression. She only had two left after curing Doomfist’s cancer. Sombra didn’t want to super slap the man she was about to murder but it was the only way to make him shut up (she didn't consider just shooting him because this is Talon we’re talking about).

She wound her hand back and purple light started to shine from her fingernails. There were five streaks of purple and blue and an echoing anime slap noise as Sombra brought her hand down on McCree’s face harder than she ever has to anyone within this story. 

McCree’s head tilted to the right and he stared at nothing in shock. He felt the universe around him, as the slap had given him clarity, and he realized that because the universe was so large and didn’t revolve around him that being depressed was a worthless mood to be in and he decided to be happy again (even though that’s not actually how depression works irl, but the slap was kinda making him delirious too so whatever). Suddenly black depression sludge poured out of his ear. He blinked and woke up from his daze. When he saw Sombra, he gasped, but then he remembered Hanzo and gasped harder. 

McCree straight (get it because he’s not funny humor) up darted out of the depression room with Sombra close behind still trying to silence him. She thought he was going to warn everyone else about Talon being there. Even though she turned herself invisible to run faster, she couldn't catch up to McCree. His love was too strong. 

He ran straight for Hanzo’s door, found it locked and kicked it open with his rootn’ tootn’ cowboy boot powers. Because it was like 11pm and Hanzo was a person with healthy habits, McCree found his (now ex) husband asleep. Hanzo always was a heavy sleeper, ever since he got over that dishonor craze he slept like a baby. 

McCree had several years of practice waking Hanzo up, so he did the thing he always did, screamed “YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF THE SHIMADA NAME!” Hanzo’s eyes opened up slightly as he muttered whilst crying “I am sorry father, please forgive me for breaking your favorite vase.” Hanzo sat up still crying and saw his beloved cowboy (ex)husband standing on top of yet another dead door. Hanzo really didn’t know what to feel. 

“Hey pumpkin,” McCree said in his silky smooth yeehaw style voice. 

“McCree? What are you doing here.” Hanzo thought he was still dreaming. 

“Long story. Some lady with a gun, super slapps, etcetera.” McCree sat down on Hanzo’s bed. “But during that time I came to realize that even if what I saw was what happens after death, I can still live a full life without sadness; with you.” 

Hanzo pinched himself. Things usually didn’t work as well as they did now for him. He found that he was awake and hugged his cowboy (ex (well the divorce actually hadn’t fully gone through in court so I think they may still be married)) husband, “Oh McCree, I am so happy that you are happy again… wait did you just say a lady with a gun‽” 

“Ya, I guess I did. We should probably warn everyone bout’ that.” 

Suddenly the lady with a gun, who was Sombra, appeared in the doorway as if she were invisible before, which she was. “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that señors.”

McCree protectively put himself before Hanzo, so as to catch any bullets that woman’s bullet thrower may throw. “Yer not goin’ to hurt my Husband,” McCree said all cowboy like. He got times 4 cowboy when he was flustered. 

“Oh ya, and how do you plan on stopping me?” Sombra asked both sarcastically and genuinely curious, knowing that Overwatch had stopped her so many times before. 

Just then really loud dragon noises happened. McCree looked behind him to see if it was Hanzo, but Hanzo was still perfectly still. There was only one other person in Overwatch who could control the dragons, Genji. He must have been in trouble.

The dragon noises were still going on. McCree looked over at the lady in the doorway, but she seemed distracted, she had no doubt heard those dragons before and were terrified of their power. But she was distracted.

After a while, the dragon noises ceased, and Sombra looked over to the bed again to see her captives. They were nowhere to be seen. Sombra was surprised for several reasons, a.) she was blocking the only exit in the entire room (there wasn’t even a window) b.) somehow both of them had gotten past her in the span of 4 to 5 seconds. She decided she wasn’t a very good secret agent and went to find them.


	74. Anime Magic

Moira told Reaper that it would be in his best interest to not use his shifty shady form to make his way around the Watchpoint. His cloak was louder than his footsteps. Now they were standing over a conveniently placed broken vase all because his cloak swished around and hit it (his cloak has a mind of its own). 

They stood completely still and listened for anyone that might have heard the vase shatter. Finally Moira breathed in frustration, “I told you not to do that.” 

“Oops.” Reaper shrugged. 

Moira was once again looping her facepalm emote and she said, “Let’s just keep going. It’s their vase so it’s not our problem.” 

They started moving again but this time there was a another set of footsteps coming from behind them, barely noticable. They turned around to face a bunch of glowing lines in the darkness. Suddenly those lines stepped out of the darkness and took the form of a cyborg ninja. 

“What are you doing here?” Genji’s voice was menacingly autotuned. 

The two Talon members scrambled. Before they got away, Genji did a super amazing anime backflip and landed right in front of them. 

Moira stared in awe as Genji stuck the landing. It reminded her of an old anime from 2030 called 超クールな忍者の男の子 (Super Cool Ninja Boys). She turned to Reaper without taking her eyes off of the ninja. “Is this the guy you were talking about when we left Nepal?”

Reaper nodded hesitantly and Moira’s face immediately brightened. “You're literally Shōto Senotakai from Super Cool Ninja Boys!” Moira leaned forward with anime star eyes. 

Shōto Senotaki was coincidentally a cyborg ninja but his colors are rainbow because Super Cool Ninja Boys was also a yaoi anime. 

“Woah Shoto Senotaki was my favorite character in that show!” Genji beamed. 

Reaper was glad that his aunt and his new anime buddy were getting along. If they didn’t it would’ve been awkward. Just then Reaper remembered another cool thing Genji could do, “Show her your smoke bomb thing,” Reaper told Genji. He remembered how amazed she was when he told her about how quickly Genji disappeared. 

Suddenly, Genji burst into a puff of smoke and all that was left was a random feather for some reason. Moira and Reaper watched as the feather floated gracefully to the floor. They looked at each other before Genji tapped Reaper on the shoulder. Reaper flinched and he spun around to face Genji. 

“Neat or some variant of neat,” said the two weebs.

“If you thought that was cool…” Genji reached for his katana. “Ryūjin no ken wo kurae!” 

Genji’s dragon did the ult animation as both Reaper and Moira flinched. Genji’s yelling would definitely wake up someone or everyone. Their worries were blown away by the sight of Genji’s awesome anime magic. 

After six seconds, Genji’s glowy dragon time was up. Genji slid his katana back into his scabbard. 

Moira turned to Reaper, “Your friend is cool! We should invite him to watch something sometime later!”

“Audible gasp,” Reaper said out loud because he had that kind of humor, “but you never invite anybody to watch anime with you. I always thought it was your religion or something.”

Moira opened her mouth to agree 100% but before she could make a sound, two more people joined the parade. “Genji!” A cowboy’s voice echoed down the hall. 

“McCree?” Genji was surprised that McCree was running and acting alive. 

McCree and Hanzo ran up to Genji, they didn’t even notice the Talon members standing in the shadows. “Brother, what is the matter?” Hanzo asked. 

“I was just showing these guys my dragon.” Genji pointed over to Moira and Reaper. They both groaned because their cover had been blown. 

McCree gasped and reached for his hip. “Shoot! Where’s my peacekeeper?”

“Wait, Brother-in-law! They have done no harm!” Genji held his arm out in front of Reaper. 

“They are Talon members.” Hanzo crossed his arms. 

“Yush but-” Genji started before he was interrupted by a loud grunting noise from the distance. 

Reaper and Moira both used their fade magic to slip by the three brothers. They had to move quickly because the grunt belonged to their leader, Doomfist


	75. Ancient Egyptian Goddess vs. Sexyist Man Alive 2086

When everybody from the previous chapter arrived at the scene of the grunt they were surprised to find the Overwatch dining room in ruins. Walls had holes in them so large you could’ve easily driven through them, and the upholstery was burning blue flames. The dining table was broken through the middle as if it were one of those wooden boards you break in Karate class. Even the kitchen wasn’t spared, as it seemed to have a new pit into hell carved right in the middle of it.

On opposite sides of the broken table were Doomfist and Ana. Doomfist was bruised and bleeding in several locations, despite his buffs, but he still radiated his sexy energy. But he was not as eye catching as Ana, who was across from him. She was floating 3 feet off the ground, with a blue light being emitted from her eyes. Around her 5 will-o'-wisps burned bright purple, a similar color to the flame consuming the chairs. She had a few scratches but overall she looked extremely powerful. 

Doomfist eyed her, “You’re strong, I’ll give you that... but we are evenly matched. Our battle will have the sheer strength to destroy this entire base, and even the town below and still it shall rage on. But defeat is not an option for me, and I’m sure it’s not one for you either.” 

When Ana opened her mouth, several echoing voices sounded, “Correct.” It was about then that both Ana and Doomfist noticed all the people staring open mouthed at their exchange. 

Ana stopped floating, her eyes stopped glowing and her will-o'-wisps faded quickly. She donned her normal granny voice, “Children! What are you still doing up? Your bedtime was hours ago!” 

Doomfist turned to his subordinates, “What are you two doing? You were supposed to be killing the healer!”

With the two powerful being’s attention turned to them, Genji and his posse had to come up with an excuse… and fast. Moira and Reaper didn’t want the truth to come out and be vaporized by Doomfist so they tried to speak first. 

Unfortunately for them, Genji spoke first (and he’s known for being truthful and pure), “I heard stuff happening and I got woken up! I found these dudes and we talked about anime for a while.” 

Doomfist furrowed his brow, “Is this true‽” 

“Probably.” both Moira and Reaper said at the same time, resigned to their fate. 

Doomfist grunted, “I’ll have to kill you later,” he turned to Ana and pointed with his smaller (but no less powerful) hand and said, “We still have a duel to complete!”

Ana turned away from her assorted children, “Correct.” Ana’s powerful aura began to return; the battle had begun anew.


	76. Soldier 76: Cooks Ramen and is Sad

“No rest for the weary.” Soldier 76 mumbled to himself as he sat up from his bed. He spent a good half hour trying to sleep but he was too weary to get rest. He pulled up his socks before putting his feet into dad shoe slippers. 

He picked up his phone and swiped away all his Duolingo notifications. He started not caring. German was too hard for him. He just went ahead and deleted the Duolingo app. There was a tiny scream as the app finished uninstalling. 

Soldier had a microwave in his room. He went against Ana’s wishes of not eating in the bedrooms because that could bring ants. Soldier was technically a leader so he could do what he wanted. He was also ignored by everyone so… 

It was prime time for some Maruchan instant lunch ramen cups. Soldier opened up his sock drawer and pulled out a chicken flavored ramen cup. He prepared it in the darkness because he didn’t want to turn on the light and have Ana walk in with her go to sleep gun. 

The microwave hummed as the ramen cooked. Soldier stared at the cup as it spun around inside for 3 minutes. Little did he know that there were loud bangs, gunshots, and screams right outside his door. He didn't’ have his hearing aids in. 

“BEEP BEEP!!” The microwave screamed. 

Soldier swung the door open and was hit with a wave of gross burnt noodle smell. He forgot to put water in the cup. A single tear fell down his cheek. His room will forever smell like burnt noodle. 

The only think he could do was hold the smoking cup of noodle ash and stare into the darkness until it stares back. Instead of staring back, the darkness emitted a bright blue light. Soldier thanked the universe for killing him right there and walked into the light.


	77. Things are Getting Heterosexual

“Did you hear that?” Junkrat asked after there was a loud boom that shook the Watchpoint. 

“Meibe it was thunder?” Mei said as she sat up from her bed. 

Ana allowed Mei and Junkrat to sleep in the same room, but forced them to sleep at opposite ends of the room. It was legit the first time Junkrat had slept in a bed. Ana didn’t want them committing any kind of sin when they were alone together. The room was split by child proof barriers and Reinhardt’s shield. 

“No, I know an explosion when I hear one and that was an explosion.” Junkrat rubbed his chin. “There must be something exciting going on!” 

All of a sudden, there was another loud crash. “We need to go help!” Mei leapt from her bed.

She pushed over Rein’s shield and Junkrat shrieked as the blue screen fell down on top of him, but it went right through his body. He took a breath in relief and laughed awkwardly. Mei reached for his hand and they both darted out of their room. 

The crashes got louder as they approached the dining room. By now, almost the entire Overwatch team was grouped together to watch Ana and Doomfist fight. Nobody noticed that two Talon members were hiding in the mix. Their heads moved simultaneously as Doomfist and Ana threw each other around the room. 

“What is going on here?” Mercy called out as she made her way to the dining room entrance. 

Suddenly, Mercy was pulled back by some magical invisible force. Turns out it was just Sombra. “Gotcha,” Sombra smirked. “Looks like your plan isn’t going so hot, Moira.” 

Everyone turned their attention over to Reaper and Moira. Moira sighed. “Somehow I was doing the stealth character role better than you.” 

Genji played the OOOOO from the “Sike That’s the wrong Number” video on his phone as he oooed along. “¡Shut up!” Sombra snapped. She placed the end of her gun on Mercy’s head. Before she could pull the trigger, Pharah ran up and punched Sombra in the face… again. 

Sombra pushed Mercy forward and held her face in pain, whilst swearing shamelessly in Spanish. Pharah caught Mercy before she hit the floor and they both stared up at each other with blushing faces. “A-are you okay?” Pharah asked. Mercy just nodded. 

Sombra attacked Pharah and McCree attacked Sombra, Reaper defended Sombra and Tracer stepped in to defend McCree. Moira went after Tracer to protect Reaper. Thus began the fourth battle in this story. Talon was painfully outnumbered but they were also painfully overpowered thanks to Sombra's hacks.

The entire dining room was a mess. Even Torbjörn’s kitchen was destroyed and that made him angrier as he fought off Moira. 

Junkrat couldn't take it anymore. He took Mei gently by the hand and led her to the middle of the room. He hesitated a bit before yelling the loudest yell he ever yelled and the entire room froze (mostly because Mei froze everyone with her blizzard). 

“Mei…” Junkrat blushed as he knelt down on one knee. He held out a Burger King box with a half eaten Whopper in it like a ring case. “Will you meiry me <3” 

Mei’s blizzard ended and everyone unfroze. Nobody moved. They only stared in shock. Mei cupped her hands over her mouth. She was surprised and hesitant. It was just the other day when she told Junkrat she wasn't ready. After a short minute of thinking about it, she finally said, “Yes.”


	78. Nothing’s Wrong™

Forgiveness slammed his communicator shut. “That was faster than I expected…” Clemency said trailing off. Lord Bill had just called meaning they could go home. Clemency wasn’t ready to return yet. Not without confessing her love to Hanzo like in those animes. 

“He wants the cannon.” Forgiveness grumbled. 

“We just got back, how could Winston build the cannon that quickly?” Grace questioned.

Forgiveness ignored his daughters and opened the door to their room. He could hear a battle going on somewhere in the Watchpoint so he had to be careful sneaking around. It didn’t matter if they didn’t show up or not because they were leaving anyway. 

With the wave of his hand, Forgiveness led his daughters around the halls looking for Winston’s lab. He almost overlooked the edgy posters and keep out signs before Grace pointed it out. “This might be it. I saw him run in here after dinner.” 

They worked together to pry the door open as quietly as they could. Inside they found an unbelievably organized mess and Winston sleeping with his face in a bowl of peanut butter. In front of him was the completed black hole cannon. 

“Lord Bill will love this.” Pity ran her hand along the edges of the cannon.

“He won’t have to do any extra work.” Charity added. 

“We just need to get it out of here without waking him up.” Forgiveness wrapped his arms around one end of the cannon. “Help me.” He ordered. 

Everyone but Clemency quickly took some part of the cannon that could possibly be lifted. “I’ll go… um, scout the area.” Clemency suggested and thankfully Forgiveness passed it off as a good idea. 

Clemency quickly left the room. Her real mission was to find Hanzo and tell her how she really felt before leaving. Oh, how she loved that man. He was so beautiful and charming. It was the perfect time to confess her love since he left his husband.

There was a loud unexplainable Australian scream that made Clemency hide for a minute. When she decided the coast was clear, she followed the sounds of sudden cheerful chatter coming from inside the dining room. 

Clemency poked her head inside. The walls were cracked, the kitchen was wrecked, the table was flat on the ground, broken in half and on fire. There was a circle of all the overwatch members and some new guys around something she couldn't quite see. 

She stepped inside the dining room but quickly froze. She spotted Hanzo in all his beautiful glory smiling at whatever it was that had everyone so excited. The problem was that he was holding hands with McCree. Their arms were even locked romantically. 

Clemency’s heart sank and she scowled. She dashed out of the dining room in a fit of pure sadness hidden by fury covered by the female “Nothing’s Wrong™” mask. 

She ran up to the other Mercys, “The coast is clear, let’s just leave.” She said, taking a side of the cannon. Nobody questioned her sudden desire to leave the Watchpoint and continued going on their way. The cannon was extremely heavy and at least half of them have scoliosis now.


	79. ¡¿Qué?!

It all happened so fast. How could a marriage proposal end a war? There was no time for Talon to escape or make any reaction before they were tossed into a nice bedroom by Ana. Ana just left them in there, and left to do something else; Reaper heard her talking to that flying bird lady through the door though. They could have broken out but Sombra set the buffs to expire after a while because she thought the mission would have ended sooner. 

Sombra sat at the end of a bed with her head in her hands. After five minutes of silence she grumbled. “¿What happened?” 

“Junkrat proposed to Mei.” Reaper answered. 

“I thought he was dead.” Doomfist was more surprised about Junkrat being alive than the proposal itself. 

“¡I can’t believe he betrayed us!” Sombra yelled as Moira leaned in to Reaper’s ear and asked who Junkrat was again. 

“They’ve only dated for like a week.” Reaper added forgetting about the promise he made with both Mei and Junkrat. 

“So you knew about this?” Doomfist questioned. Reaper shrugged and nodded at the same time, a shnod. 

“It must be some stupid attempt to unite Overwatch and Talon.” Moira snickered. “We aren’t even family, so what’s the point?” 

“It’s a whole friends are family deal…” Reaper said. Overwatch was a family. Ana owned all of the members. Talon was somewhat of a family as well. Junkrat was basically Doomfist’s adopted son (the adoption process was still going through the legal system).

“Ugh don’t reference Tomodachi-kun Adventures in Tomodachi World right now, Reaper.” Moira sighed. 

Doomfist suddenly remembered something. “If you hadn’t spent so much time discussing anime with that one guy, we would have finished the mission.” Doomfist pointed at both Reaper and Moira. 

Whatever was left of Reaper’s face grew red under his mask. Nobody was supposed to find out about his love for anime. Why now though? Moira stood stone faced but it was easy to tell that death metal was playing in her head and the only lyric was “kill” over and over again. 

Sombra started cackling. “Wait, ¿you and anime?” she chuckled. 

“I-It’s not what you think!” Reaper crossed his arms and turned away like a typical Tsundere anime girl. Moira laughed at how well Reaper pulled off the Tsundere archetype even though he swears he’s a Yandere (edgy anime fans amiright). 

Suddenly, the door opened and Junkrat poked his head inside. Everyone inside glared at him except Reaper maybe (it was hard to tell with the mask and he was happy to have the attention off him). Junkrat waved as he stepped inside letting the door close behind him. 

“Whelp… I’m engaged!” Junkrat said to end the deathly silence. 

“Good for you…” Sombra mumbled, picking at her nails like she didn’t care. 

“And that’s going to unite Overwatch and Talon so you can stop fighting.” Junkrat smiled. Moira jabbed Reaper with her elbow and gave him the I was Right™ look. 

“¿You really think that’s going to work?” Sombra stood up and roared. “¡The monkey still killed Widowmaker! ¿How do you expect us to just forgive Overwatch for what they’ve done just because you’re get married?” 

Junkrat looked down and kicked the ground a bit. “I don’t know. Weren’t we trying to kill everyone both times we came here, only failing because we’re incompetent fools? Isn’t it fair for them to protect themselves against us?” 

Sombra was slightly dumbfounded by that statement. Junkrat had never made a legitimate point before. She sat back down grumpily to try and deal with her biases. Meanwhile Doomfist was still slightly peeved, but not peeved enough to make a peeved face.

“Why have you betrayed us my son-when-the-papers-are-done?” Doomfist asked. 

“Oh, but don’t you see? I didn’t betray you to anybody! I’ve finally ended a feud that I’m pretty sure nobody even cares about anymore!” Junkrat said, more eloquently than even he knew he was capable of.

“Ah, that makes sense.” Doomfist sat next to Sombra so they could deal with their biases together. 

“So… Overwatch is cool now?” Reaper asked.

“I was just thinking about that,” Moira said. “even though you ended our feud, that doesn’t mean we have to like them.”

Junkrat was also dumbfounded. He never realized that Talon actually had preferences when it came to making friends, and that it might just be harder than getting married to bring them together. He sat down next to Doomfist (but not next to Sombra, she was still capable and willing to destroy him) to redetermine his definition of marriage. 

Suddenly, a memory surfaced in his mind. He remembered one time when his dad forced him to go to a wedding, and right before the wedding all the men went out and robbed a bank. He thought it was called a “Bank Robby Robby Party“, but then he realized that that was stupid and he remembered the right words.

“I know! We should have a bachelor party, to get to know the Overwatch people!” Junkrat said.

“That’s not a bad idea Junkrat, but bachelor parties are not for socializing, they’re for celebrating the last bit of freedom you have left before marriage by doing sinful things. I should know, I’ve done it 3 times.” Doomfist said.

“Oh really? That’s stupid. Why would you have a party of debauchery right before you swear your forever loyalty to a person. Doesn’t that kind of undermine the purpose of a marriage?” Junkrat asked, again surprised by the fact that he could even use the word ”debauchery” in a sentence.

The rest of the team was surprised too, Reaper saying, “Were you secretly smart all this time?”

“I’m not sure. Just a couple of seconds ago I didn’t even know that marriage wasn’t the solution to all problems. I guess I just have a spirit watching over me.” Junkrat said with painful accuracy. “Anyway my intelligence is not what I was talking about. So if a bachelor party isn’t it… maybe a Bank Robby Robby party instead?”

“That sounds more fun.” Doomfist said.

Sombra had cooled down a little, enough to be sassy without killing anybody and said, “¿But what about us girls?”

“I’m sure we can figure something out :D.” Junkrat said, actually speaking the emoticon out loud like a fool. 

Doomfist was fully calmed down and his biases were eliminated (he was surprisingly open to new ideas). “I agree. It’s late, and I don’t feel like travelling all the way back to Sombra’s apartment to sleep, so we’ll stay here for the night.”

“Sleeping the in the house of the enemy... just a couple of hours ago we would never have agreed to it.” Moira said thoughtfully. 

“True. Goodnight everyone.” Junkrat said as he closed the door the the #TalonRoomProject.


	80. God Talks

“We have a lot to talk about...” Ana said dramatically. 

“I agree.” Pharah said in return. 

They were sitting in the Overwatch Living room, which miraculously avoided all damage from the battle. Ana was sitting in the “old person chair that somehow never gets worn down despite being sat in almost 24 hours a day” chair, and Pharah was sitting in a normal tan armchair. 

Ana decided that she would speak first, “Let’s start with Mercy.”

Pharah’s heart legit stopped. She had feared for years that her mom would find out about her crush on a girl, and that she wouldn’t approve. Ana was always hounding her to get a boyfriend, so Pharah feared that as soon as she was even slightly close to getting a relationship that her mom would be all grr. Pharah stayed silent because her heart wasn’t working.

Ana didn’t notice though, and kept speaking, “I saw that little glint in your eyes when you saved her. You weren't just doing it to protect your healer, that much was obvious.” Ana noticed then that her daughter’s heart had stopped, and snapped her fingers.

As if by magic, Pharah’s heart started again. She had somehow heard all of what Ana said despite being dead, and found a little bit of courage to reply in a small voice, “Yes, it was more than that...”

Ana burst out laughing her genuinely nice laugh, “Well why didn’t you say so! I’d never think I’d see the day when my little Fareeha would finally get a significant other!”

Pharah’s eyes lit up, “So you’re cool with me liking girls?”

“Of course! I was born in 2016, a couple years after that was the Gay Revolution, where a big portion of the LGBT community broke away from the world to found their own secluded country.”

“Oh ya, Gaydonia.”

“Correct. I’ve even had a few girlfriends myself!”

“Wow!” Pharah was both surprised and relieved by this news. Now that she was fully out (OwO), she remembered what she was going to ask her mom before her heart stopped.

“So what was with the weird god-like energy you were emanating during your fight with Doomfist?”

“Oh that. Well child, there’s no easy way to say this… I’m the current reincarnation of an ancient Egyptian deity capable of wrath and terror like you couldn’t believe. I am the most powerful being in the Watchpoint.” Ana said like she was giving Pharah “The Talk™.”

“Ah.” Pharah said. “So does that make me a demigod or something?”  
“Not exactly. You see I molded you out of clay and gave you life with the power of justice and also with pure force of will.” Ana replied.

“So you basically just thought me into existence?” Pharah asked.

“Pretty much ya.”

“Cool. So what was the person I call dad?”

“He was my boyfriend at the time and he found out about my powers. He suggested that we create a being made of pure justice to keep the peace in the world. So he is still your dad in a way.” Ana said.

“Neat.” Pharah didn’t have that much of a problem hearing all this. Her thought process was, “hey, what’s the difference between that and getting born the natural way”, also, “cool now I have more in common with Mercy; we were both created using artificial methods”.

“You’re taking this extremely well.” Ana mused.

“Why not?” Pharah retorted.

“Oh I guess you’re right.” Ana understood her daughter’s thought process (one of her powers was mind reading). “Wanna hug it out?”

“Yes.” Pharah said.

They hugged it out and went to bed because it was way past their bedtime (except for Ana, as previously stated, she does not sleep).


	81. Mercy was Right

Breakfast started late because bedtime started late. There wasn’t much to eat because the kitchen was destroyed. Ana gave gold stars to the people that were honest and shared whatever food they were hiding in their room. Pretty soon, everyone had a napkin of Doritos with goldfish crackers and Capri Suns for breakfast in the living room. Torb was sifting through the carnage of his once great kitchen to salvage whatever possible; there were tears in his eyes. 

Everybody was tired from the night before, as they had stayed up til about 11:30 in the night and that was against everybody's standards of sleep. Mercy had like 13 bags under her eyes while she was drinking her fruit punch flavored fruit punch. Her night was longer than most, with her confession of the past, a breakup and an attempt on her life weighing on her conscious, it is obvious that she hadn’t slept much. Surprisingly she had had worse nights before this, when everybody in Overwatch but her contracted Screamitis (something that can only be cured by time), where the person infected would scream continuously until they ran out of breath whereupon they would take several seconds of breath before beginning again; that night was hell. 

Everyone was eyeing her warily, as they knew she had a bad night and they also knew what a battle Mercy could be like (the horror), so most of them kept their distance… except of course Pharah. She approached Mercy tentatively as if Mercy was a wounded rabbit who would just hurt itself trying to run away. Mercy was staring off into space not really thinking of anything at all, and she didn’t notice Pharah until she heard Pharah clap. She noticed Pharah then. 

“Oh… hi.” Mercy said sleepily. 

“Hi...” Pharah replied. “Are you ok?”

“No.” Mercy replied tersely

“Oh. Sorry for last night,” Pharah rubbed the back of her head like people do when they’re nervous, “I didn’t mean to stress you out.”

“Oh it wasn’t you. Like I said last night, it was healthier for me to speak my emotions than to keep them bottled up forever.” Mercy said whilst again listing into space. 

“Oh, alright. So we’re still friends then?” Pharah asked.

“Of course,” Mercy gave Pharah a little smile.

The tension in the living room lessened. Talon was still in #TalonRoomProject, as they had refused to eat with Overwatch so soon, and that really helped everyone’s mood. Junkrat was the only Talon member to be eating in the room, but everybody liked him (he smelt like burnt marshmallows and had a good personality); he was sitting with Mei and playfully joking with her. 

The only Overwatch member not present was Winston, but that didn’t bother anybody. Winston sometimes stayed in his room for days at a time creating monstrosities of science that nature would never dream in a million years to create. 

He burst into the room crying. “It’s gone!” 

“What’s gone?” Ana sighed. More drama was the last thing Overwatch needed at that moment. 

“My cannon!” Winston shouted. “I’ve looked everywhere!” 

Mei stopped making kissy faces at Junkrat and gasped. “FUCK!” Mei screamed (what‽ Mei can curse). She was a fool to trust Winistaton, for he was not as trustworthy as she had previously thought, and she said as much out loud.

Ana stood up and went to Winston’s room. With her motherly powers, she’d be able to find any missing object. Instead of finding the cannon in the exact place it should have been, she found a small communicator that was dropped on the floor for plot convenience. 

“What’s that?” literally everyone asked.

“I’m not sure...” Winston said {he had also asked what it was, so him answering makes no sense but whatever}. “It has an antenna and some buttons, I think it might be a communicator of some sort.”

Little did they know that it was a flip phone in disguise. It was so old that only that hacking it wasn’t even something that could be done, even by a master hacker like Sombra. Lucky there were several old people in Overwatch who recognized what it was.

“A flip phone?” Genji asked. “What the heck is a that?” 

Rein was the first to speak, “It was the thing people used to communicate before smartphones. My grandpa used to have one!” Reinhardt was nostalgic for the early days.

“How?” Genji asked, “If it doesn’t have the capability to play Flappy Bird 74 then how does it have the ability to call?”

“Not important,” Ana interrupted. “What I do know is that only like 4 still exist on planet Earth.”

“So they shouldn’t be too difficult to track down.” Winston understood. He pulled out his weirdly small laptop and logged into eBay to see who might have bought the last of the flip phones. Of the several (4) listings, all of them were bought out by a user going by “DarkEater998.” 

Suddenly Ana noticed something, “Wait… where are the other Mercys?”

Pharah gasped louder than a freight train and screamed, “LAST NIGHT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT A CANNON AND NOW WINSTON’S CANNON IS GONE!”

Mercy had to sit down. She was used to being right about things, but never in her life had she not wanted to be right. “I was right...” she said in a small voice. 

Everybody promptly issued Mercy an apology, most of them saying “u wer rite.” All of them except Winston. He was frozen at his tiny laptop after reading the name “DarkEater998.” 

When everybody had apologized Ana asked, “Are you going to apologize Winston?” in her old powerful mom voice that made everybody guilty without even trying. That guilt level broke Winston's attention only slightly, and he uttered his sorryness more out of instinct than anything.

“What’s wrong Winston?” Tracer asked. 

He looked up from his screen with absolute fear pain in his face, “Something bad is about to happen.”


	82. The Bill Origin Story

Clemency was listening to breakup songs like she had actually broken up with Hanzo. She didn't have headphones so everyone had to deal with it. The twins were literally dying, nothing that wasn’t My Little Pony or Little Pet Shop was poison to them. Grace was in the other side of the room (cave) helping Forgiveness finish some medical mumbo jumbo or something. But in the middle of the room, on a small plateau with a few computers, was the giant silverback gorilla; the good samaritan… Bill. 

Charity finally had enough and ripped Clemency’s communicator from her hands. Clemency yelled as Charity violently turned off the music and threw the device across the cave. Charity ran back to Pity and stuck out their tongues as they locked arms. 

“Bill, could you please tell us your life story to keep them quiet?” Forgiveness said, giving the twins a stern look. 

Everyone went silent. They knew better than to speak when Bill was going to speak. “K,” Bill said in Scar’s voice from The Lion King. “Once upon a time…” 

Bill’s life began like any normal genetically enhanced monkey’s did...in Horizon Lunar Colony. He wasn’t like the other kids because he was born with pink and green fur and (amazing, gorgeous, powerful) emo hair. Aubrey, his caretaker/mom, did everything she could to make Bill normal but no amount of hair dye could cover up his strange fur. 

Bill was always picked on for having different fur. The only gorilla that didn’t pick on him was Winston. Winston was too socially awkward to talk to anyone so Bill just followed him around until they eventually started talking. They conversed about everything including dream jobs. Winston wanted to be a scientist just like his dad and invent things or maybe build a black hole cannon just to have one. Bill just wanted to look like a normal gorilla. 

Winston was a dorky daddy’s boy but Bill fell in love with him. Winston was the only one that saw Bill for who he was, not what he looked like. They were so in love that they didn't even pay attention to the uprising the other gorillas conducted that killed all the scientists on the colony. When they finally realized what had happened, they escaped to Earth. 

Earth was a scary place for Bill because there were at least 7.442 billion more people that would look at him and say, “Wow, gorillas aren’t supposed to look like that!” 

Winston was smarter than Bill scientifically so he got a job with Overwatch™. Bill discovered his abilities there. They were similar to Winston’s except his ultimate was much more dangerous. Bill could kill anyone he thought of with his mind. 

The problem with Winston working at Overwatch was that they never got to see each other. Winston would always lock himself away in a room where he’d perform dumb scientific experiments that helped nobody. 

One day they decided to meet up finally. They sat awkwardly in the Dairy Queen drive thru line, waiting for the other 45 people ahead of them to finish ordering. They suddenly spoke at the same time to break the silence. 

“I really wish we could spend more time together like this.” Bill said

“I think maybe you should go out and see other people…” Winston said. 

“What?” Bill’s heart crumpled up. “What do you mean‽” 

“I mean like… I’m always working and you have no other friends.” Winston sighed. “Maybe you should go out and find someone else that will spend time with you…” 

Bill couldn't believe that science was more important than he was. Bill’s heart had literally crumpled up and was left a pile of dust in the pit of his stomach {he keeps the blood flowing through his veins through anger alone}. Love was dead. He left Overwatch so he wouldn't have to see Winston’s stupid face and joined Talon. He wasn't really in Talon he was just there in case they really needed help. 

It was many years until he started targeting Overwatch members and started killing them as a warning, hoping Winston would remember and fear the return of Bill. 

When he flew off the map in chapter 6, he was rescued by a group of healing angels, after hours of hating both Overwatch and Talon for forgetting him. “Only characters with a lot of plot armor could survive a fall like that,” they told him after he was fully healed “You must be important to the story.” Bill befriended the healers and listened to their tragic backstory. 

“I could release you,” Bill offered. “But only if you help me.” 

The leader agreed and with a promise sealing handshake, Bill used his immense power to break the seal keeping the angel healers trapped under Numbani. 

“And now I’m here, retelling my story.” Bill finished. The Mercys hesitated before clapping their hands. 

Forgiveness finally stepped in after the Mercys finished their round of applause. “When are you planning to attack?” 

“Soon…” Bill stared off into the distance. 

Forgiveness wanted a more specific answer but didn’t dare ask for one. He just nodded and returned to his medical supplies.


	83. Shock and Awe

Meanwhile, Winston was reading the previous chapter out loud to all the assembled Overwatch members off the Wattpad app on his Samsung Tab E15. It was a surprisingly effective way to explain Bill’s (DarkEater998) usefulness in the story to the characters without the authors having to write it again. 

“So basically what you’re saying is… the person who Forgiveness stole the cannon for is basically the most powerful being alive and that it has beef with both Talon and Overwatch?” Mercy asked.

“Yep, pretty much.” Winston replied.

Mercy’s tired head started spinning. She fell back but Pharah caught her. “I have a huge headache because of all this.” Mercy groaned. 

“Maybe you should get some rest,” Pharah suggested. 

“No! Not until they’re gone!” Mercy kicked up. “I can’t rest knowing my family is after me with an OP hero on their side!” 

“Technically we have like 14 OP heroes in this room alon-” Tracer began to say before Mercy gave her the “don’t fuck with me” face.

Ana rolled her eyes and shot a sleep dart at Mercy. With a surprising struggle, Mercy finally fell asleep, “Now the adults can talk,” Ana said. “First Winston, explain what a black hole is and why all of us should be worried.”

Winston gulped, “A black hole is an astrological entity with an extremely large mass but with a marginally small volume, making its gravitational pull impossible to escape, even for something as fast as light. If you pass what scientists call the ‘event horizon’ you’re crushed beyond compare and destroyed completely.”

“Don’t science me mister, just tell us what it does.” Ana snapped.

Winston was slightly peeved that science words weren't important to the rest of Overwatch but he dumbed it down for them anyway, “It’s a big boi that you cannot escape.”

“So basically Gibby from iCarly?” Genji asked.

“I guess,” Winston shrugged

“Dang,” Everybody on planet Earth said.

“The good thing is that I couldn’t really create a real black hole with my canon, to create one even the size of a nickel I’d need all the matter on Earth. So what I did was create a machine that could punch a hole in the dimensional fold, which does a lot of what a black hole does, except we don’t really know if you die or not.” Winston said with a slight smirk. 

“Again Winston, 99% of the people here don’t understand your science.” Ana crossed her arms.

Winston rolled his eyes, “My canon doesn’t have enough juice to make a real big boi, so I just made it so it could hole punch the universe like it was paper.”

“Darn,” Everybody said slightly louder. 

”My canon is also incomplete, and I don’t think Bill will be able to fix it. The canon should only be able to fire once as it is,” Winston assured the Overwatch team.

“Good. Ana said. “But we still don’t know when or where they’re going to strike, so the best we can do for now is have travel buddies and hope for the best,” 

“Flail randomly and hope for the best,” Genji said, proud to recite the official Overwatch motto.

“Sooooooooooo…” Junkrat soed, “the Bank Robby Robby party is still on?”

“Sure, but you have to take Reinhardt with you for protection.” Ana patted her large boyfriend on the lower forearm. 

“Yay!” Junkrat cheered. 

“Alright, #OverwatchMeetingTime is over, you can all leave now,” Ana said. “Oh, and have fun robbing banks!” she said before going to the kitchen to console a crying Torb.


	84. The Bank Robby Robby Party Begins

“Alright guys, here’s the plan.” Junkrat said, standing right at the door of the Bank of Erica with Reaper and Genji on one side and Doomfist on the other. “Go in, grab the money, get out.”

“That doesn’t sound like a very solid plan,” Genji stated. 

“Since when have intricate and well thought out plans ever gotten us anywhere?” Junkrat asked sarcastically.

“True.” Reaper said.

“At least this time we have a backup plan so that we don’t all die,” Junkrat said with a little levity.

And it was true. Reinhardt did indeed come with them, but he was too pure to actually rob a bank so he was the getaway driver. It was a good thing anyway, because his armor made the sound of rolling thunder anyway. He got a car from a rental place down the street and was parked down the steps of the bank. 

The beings entered the building. “Follow my lead,” Junkrat said. He began walking like a normal human being, and it turned out that he was actually taller than Reaper {but not as tall as Daddy Doomfist}. His face transformed from a crazy grin to looking like a normal bank goer. He combed back his hair a little as well. 

Suddenly, it seemed like he had a tux on, and that he didn’t have any bombs at all. But the gang squinted, they saw that Junkrat was as shirtless as ever. 

“Wow! How did you do that‽” Doomfist asked. 

“It’s a little trick I learned while I was robbing on my own. If you pretend like you’re supposed to be someplace, it tricks the mind into filling in the blanks like putting me in a tux or something.” Junkrat explained. 

“Bro you have illusion magic‽” Genji interrobanged. 

“Pretty much ya.” 

“How do we do what you just did?” Doomfist asked.

“Just act like this is where you’re meant to be.” Junkrat said. He reverted to his tux form. 

Doomfist got it immediately, and somehow he grew hair and had a nice white tux on. Genji did his best, but all he could summon was a bowtie. Reaper was having the most trouble, because his disguise was just flickering like a neon bulb between a girly pink outfit and the tux he was supposed to be wearing. Eventually the illusion settled on the dress.

“Eh, this is nice too.” Reaper said happily.

“Looks good enough to me,” said Junkrat {who in fact had no sense of fashion at all}.

“It looks great! Just like Kutsushita’s dress from Kawaii Death Desu.” Genji xded. 

“Whoa nice.” Reaper said.

“Ok let’s go rob a bank,” Junkrat whispered because they were in the bank.


	85. That’s Not How This Works Reinhardt

Junkrat motioned for everyone else to follow his lead. He stepped onto one of the front desks. “Hello, I am a normal citizen with a bank licence,” he said. He used words he didn’t quite understand. He was just mimicking his father from when they used to rob banks together. “I am here to inspect your banking processes.” 

Junkrat looked deep into the bank teller’s eyes. “Yasmin,” He looked off her name tag, ”You gotta believe me.” 

“K,” Yasmin said. 

“Cool,” he climbed over the counter and the others followed suit. None of the other tellers seemed to care. 

They all walked through the bank until they came across the bank vault. “Woah, banks still look like this?” Genji said. 

“What did you think they were like?” Doomfist asked. He spoke bitterly to Genji because he was an Overwatch member and that was bad. 

“I thought there would be a giant ATM back here or something,” Genji shrugged not noticing Doomfist’s tone. 

During those three lines of dialogue, Junkrat finished setting up bombs all over the vault. “Wait wouldn’t that give us away?” Reaper stopped Junkrat before he pressed his bomb button. 

Junkrat rolled his eyes. He hated it when people stop him from blowing something up. “But how are we supposed to get in?” he asked. 

“Key?” Doomfist suggested and everyone looked at each other and they seemed to agree. 

Suddenly, Reinhardt crashed through the walls of the bank with the word “Disguise” written in red sharpie on his armor. “I’M HERE TO ASSIST YOU IN YOUR BANK ROBBING ACTIVITIES, FRIENDS!” he shouted at the top of his very large lungs. 

A couple of tense seconds passed. Sirens started wailing but Reinhardt continued on to find the rest of the gang. Junkrat shrugged and blew up the vault door. “I thought you didn’t want to come in?” Genji asked as he picked up a few bags of money because that’s how it really looks inside bank vaults.

“I got bored!” Reinhardt laughed scooping up a giant armfull.

“Ha! So that’s all it takes to twist you old man! I didn’t think you were such a pushover!” Then Doomfist did the one thing he knew would end in disaster, but didn’t remember that just then; he playfully patted Rein on the back. For most people, the pure power behind a touch from Doomfist could completely atomize them. 

Fortunately, nothing happened. Doomfist was confused, and asked why Rein hadn’t burst into white hot sawdust. 

“Ha! It is quite a tale!” Reinhardt recounted whilst still gathering money. “Before I got so old, I used to be even more sexy than you! Even in my old age I am more than a match for you.”

“Neat,” Doomfist said. 

“Hey guys, the cops are still on their way!” Reaper noted.

“Don’t worry you dipstick. We’ve got all the money now so we can get the H out of H.” Junkrat said, high on adrenaline. 

They ran for the door as quick as their speedy abilities could take them while still being able to hold onto money bags. The gang was almost to the door when a police van crashed into their getaway car with no regard to how inconvenient that was for them. 

Junkrat fumbled for a second, but he stopped as a light bulb appeared over his head, “Guys, hide behind this giant pillar every bank has, I have an idea.”

The cop’s door slammed shut, and a high pitched girly voiced cop talked to the other horse legged cop while the two were running up the several flights of stairs, “Alright rookie, this is your first time on the job. Just follow my lead and we’ll be fine!”

D.va and Orisa stood in front of the hole left by Rein’s giant body and D.va said, “Well it looks like we have another mystery on our hands.”


	86. Money Movers Inc.

The bank was silent as the two police officers walked in. There was not a person to be found, as all the patrons of the bank and its tellers had fled the premises. D.va picked up dust from the ground with a gloved finger, “This is recent. This dust is just like the robbery in Hamburg, Germany done by a bunch of drunk Crusaders as they busted into a bank using their armor in 53’.” D.va actually had a perfect criminal database of the past 73 years of crimes imprinted in her mind. “Take notes rookie,” she said to the giant horse/cow being behind her.

“Yes ma'am,” Orisa said obediently. She was the top of her class at the academy, but she still had a lot to learn about policing in the field.

“It looks like the perp immediately went to the vault,” D.va said as she skirted around the pilar hiding the beings from beyond. 

“And look at this Orisa, when you come in the vault you see that all the money's gone. Not even the largest of the Crusaders were ever strong enough to carry that much money, so the perp must have had accomplices,” D.va said. “If only we know where they went...”

“I may be of some assistance. Canine, come forth,” Orisa yelled. Suddenly, a dog shape formed out of the air and became animated. The dog that formed out of the mists of time was a pretty cute, small, black, breed of dog {of which we do not no know the name}. “Canine, can you find the assailants for us?” Orisa asked to dog. 

The dog barked and began sniffing. It sniffed a trail right to a certain pink dressed being behind a pillar, but strangely Reaper was alone, without money and breathing very hard. 

“Aha! What do we have here?” D.va asked.

“Oh officer! I am so glad to see you!” Reaper said overdramatically. “Those fiends… they almost got away with the money!”

“Yes,” Orisa said, “And my powers of analysis show that you are likely one of those said fiends.”

“Oh, how presumptuous of you!” Reaper said, adding on the drama he gained by wearing his powerful outfit. “I am completely innocent!”

“Then how does that explain how your scent was found at the scene of the crime, so quickly after the crime was committed?” D.va asked, crossing her arms sure she had caught Reaper in a logic loop. 

“Oh ma’am, that’s quite easy to explain,” Reaper said, “See, I work for a company called Money Movers Inc.” He produced a highly laminated card out of thin air {presumably with the same illusion magic keeping him in a dress}. “We specialize in moving money for banks to offshore locations during the off season. We were just scheduled to move this banks money to a seperate location when those vagabonds showed up. Luckily, my trusty assistants were here to fend them off.” 

Reaper flourished his hands to behind the teller desks which out popped a very well dressed blond kid, a big fisted man and cyborg ninja. The final person to jump up above the desk was a very tall german man. He was visibly old and battle scarred, but he wore a visible smile on his face.

“Right...” D.va said, “So where did these robbers go?”

“Oh that’s simple… they were vaporized!” Reaper said.

“What‽” D.va interrobanged. 

“Oh yes,” Reaper said as Doomfist stepped forward, “This young gentleman is quite good at literally vaporizing people. My friend, please demonstrate.”

Doomfist proceeded to slightly touch Orisa’s arm. That arm no longer existed after the duration of the touch. Orisa turned to her superior and said, “I can conquer that this man is quite good at what he does.”

D.va stoked her brow, “Ok… fine… whatever. You can go, nothing to see here.” D.va said as she looked around, listless and confused. “Go move the money like you were supposed to.”

Reaper and his associates bowed, and left with the money in tow. It was only later when D.va realized how bad she was at actually following through with her job. She never asked the company's name, never asked Orisa to look them up, and didn’t question a company named Money Movers Inc. She may have had a perfect recollection of every crime in the past 73 years, but she was not very good at solving them. This bank robbing case remained one of D.va’s most humiliating failures to date, but it didn’t stop her from doing what she loved, being a police officer with a side job as a Twitch streamer. She died on the job 40 years after her greatest failure. Her partner {Orisa} and her husband {Lucio} survived her.

Meanwhile outside the bank, the gang was having conversations while running from the scene of the crime. The most important of those conversations was Doomfist apologizing to Rein for having to vaporize his armor. 

“It is alright, my new friend! I still have 34 better ones at home!” Rein assured his newfound friend. 

Doomfist was surprised that he was so relieved, didn’t he still kind of dislike Overwatch? Well he still didn’t like all of them but hey what can you do. He liked some of them and that was enough.

Meanwhile Reaper and Junkrat were having a conversation too.

“Why did you chose me to be the actor?” Reaper asked.

“Several reasons...” Junkrat said.

“Oh I’ve got it,” Genji said, “a.) You’re a good actor. b.) You can rock that dress. c.) You just have the most soothing voice out of all of us.”

“Ya pretty much,” Junkrat said.

“Ah thanks heart emoji,” Reaper said.

“Anyway, we’ll need to hide out for tonight so that Mei can have her party in peace and so that we can spend out newly earned money,” Junkrat said.

“Oo oo, I know. We should invest some of this money in capital and spend the rest on beer or arcade tokens!” Reinhardt said, giddy with excitement. 

And they ran off into the sunset with 30 million dollars in cash.


	87. General Mei

Mei invited everyone. Nobody was excluded but those on her fiance's party. Everyone else, male or female, was allowed to join. And what was Mei’s super awesome, all inclusive, bachelorette party… an all expenses paid day of mini golf at Uncle Bucko’s Mini Golf Emporium and Gift Shop.

Everybody got their golf clubs and their very specifically colored balls, then Mei gathered everyone together. Sombra and Moira found themselves holding golf clubs and balls as if they weren’t the ones to pick them out for themselves. It turns out they were both extremely delirious because of the circumstances.

“When did we get here? And why am I holding a medium sized putter and a puke green golf ball?” Moira asked, sounding half asleep despite being fully awake. 

“Ya and why is everything spinning?” Sombra asked.

“I think we’re experiencing social vertigo... oh that’s good saying, I’ll have to write that down somewhere.”

Sombra scoffed, “Social vertigo? What’s that?”

“I think it’s being thrust into an unfavorable social situation you were not prepared for and feeling sick while doing it.”

“Ah.”

Just then Mei jumped up on a picnic table and banged her club twice for everyone’s attention. She began to speak, but not in her usual annoying Chinese accent, but an annoying Chinese accent with some militarism in it. 

 

“Alright listen up you trollops, we are going to be playing one of the most extreme sports in the entire world...”

“Mini golf?” McCree asked.

“Yes you miserable maggot! Mini golf is a sacred sport, whose mastery is passed from one master to another, down the lines forever; just as my knowledge was given from Master Bucko,” she pointed to a one toothed yokel who waved at them from the ball dispenser, ”to me.”

“It seems we are already paired up in pairs of two.” Mei noted. This was true, as many of the couples and the best friends were standing next to each other {excluding Sombra and Moira, who were only standing next to each other because they were the only Talon members there.n fact, they still hated each other quite a lot}. “But mini golf requires teams of 4 to be played efficiently, so I want your already established pairs to be grouped together with another pair; no exceptions!”

Sombra and Moira didn’t even know what was going on, so they got paired with the weird cowboy and his short Japanese husband. It wasn’t their choice, it was simply the will of the winds. Sombra silently cursed the mini golf gods. Mei was with Ana to begin with, and they were paired with Bastion and Emily {a literal laser guided death machine and Bastion}. All the other pairings were unimportant. 

“Alrighty, now that all the teams have been paired together, we can discuss our game for today. We are at war; the goal? To beat all other teams at mini golf. The prize? Well seeing as mini golf is such a sacred game, we must have a reward of equal value… 50 DOLLARS AT THE UNCLE BUCKO GIFT SHOP AND FREE MINI GOLF GAMES FOR LIFE, brought to you by Uncle Bucko’s Mini Golf Emporium and Gift Shop. Are the stakes clear? Yes‽” Everybody nodded, “Good. Let the games… begin!”


	88. The Tournament of 1000 Deaths {with chee-zy pretzels on the side}

The mini golf gods were not happy with Sombra’s team {she was designated team captain because she was the most powerful} that day. Everyone on the team was awkward and didn’t really want to be there, and mostly stayed to themselves. Sombra was quiet and golfed sloppily, as did Moira, and McCree and Hanzo were always whispering to each other and were distracted when it was their turn to putt.

The antithesis to their apathy was Mei’s team, who were the most competitive beings on planet Earth and easily crushed the competition. Mei was actually a world class mini golf champion, who easily got holes in one. Ana promised not to use her godly powers to help her team win, but she didn’t need them; she was a good sniper after all. Bastion was actually pretty good at mini golf, despite being a 7 foot tall death machine. Easily their weakest link was Emily, but she wasn’t terrible either, getting the ball in the hole in 3 strokes at least most of the time. 

There was a break when two of the teams were eliminated to eat chee-zy pretzels from Uncle Bucko’s food shack. After all the scores were tallied up, it turned out that Sombra’s team had actually gotten 2nd place out of the 4 teams. The other two teams only lost by a couple of strokes to Sombra’s team, and some members on the other team complained that Sombra was hacking. All that was left in the tournament was the final elimination round against the champions; Mei’s team.

Sombra was slightly peeved while eating her pretzels, as she didn’t really want to play anymore. She was sick of Overwatch, she was sick of Moira, she just wanted to be in front of a monitor again. She really didn’t want to be there. Moira on the other hand, was actually starting to feel a little competitive once she found out that they had actually gotten 2nd place. McCree and Hanzo were still whispering at each other and didn’t really care.

Moira sat awkwardly next to Sombra, nibbling her soft pretzel like a ferret. She decided to start up a conversation for no reason, “So, um, how’re you doing?”

“Dying,”

“Why?”

“Mini golf, Overwatch, the stupid look on Uncle Bucko’s face, etc.” And Sombra didn’t say it, but she thought, you.

Unluckily for Sombra, Moira was a master of mind reading the likes to rival Ana when it came to her Nieces and Nephews. “It’s more than that, I can tell.”

“Well fine!” Sombra said, standing up from the picnic bench, throwing her pretzel on the ground, “I’m sick of you, too! With your primness and your always-ruining-my-plans. I’ve always hated you!”

Moira felt hurt, too hurt to be nice, “Oh little miss ‘just kill them.’ If we had listened to you we’d be 6 feet under by now! I’ve been nothing but kind to you and all of Talon! You’re simply unappreciative of my work!”

”{upside down interrobang which doesn’t exist in any font}You really see yourself as kind to me‽” Sombra scrasked sarcastically. “¡You’ve been dismissive of me since you were introduced in this fanfiction!” Sombra couldn’t stop herself but she was feeling all her feelings so she began to feel animosity to Talon as a whole, “You always loved Widow and Reaper more than me! You treat me like trash! The only reason I’m even here is because Doomfist is cool with me, and even he’s getting sick of me with you around!” 

Then Sombra did the one thing she promised she wouldn’t do since 3rd grade when Tommi Hillferger stole her 2nd generation Barbie doll; she wept with her head in her hands at the picnic table. 

Moira didn’t fully understand what was going on, Sombra had never shown any emotion beyond peeved since she had known her. And in fact, Moira had never actually made someone cry. She felt a small naggy feeling at the pit of her stomach; she assumed it was guilt, but she couldn’t be sure. She really didn’t know what to do at that point, she didn’t even think apologizing would help. 

Suddenly a yeehaw shadow spread across the picnic table, “Hey there lass, don’t cry now.” said the powerful cowboy voice. McCree was standing on the other side of the picnic table, Hanzo at his side, looking like he was being forced over here. He began to speak again, “Hanzo and I have been talkin’, and he was thinkin’ I should thank you for what you did for me… you know, somehow curing my sadness.”

“Now I don’t care if you’re Talon or Overwatch or nothin’, you saved my life and my marriage. So even if this grasshopper looking lady and her posse don’t like you, you got to know that we do.” McCree put his arm on Hanzo’s shoulder, “And there ain’t nothing that can change that.” McCree said. Hanzo nodded afterwards, clearly proud of his husband. 

Moira felt extremely bad now, and not just because McCree called her a grasshopper {she had gotten that a lot through High School, it didn’t bother her anymore}, but because this weird cowboy had somehow been more compassionate than she had, and she was her aunt for god’s sake. 

After a few more seconds of silence she decided that an apology was in order after all, “I’m sorry Sombra,” the words felt weird in her mouth, “I am not a perfect person, even if I have claimed infallibility before. This apology may not help, but I will say this; I will try to be a better aunt in the future. Right now I’ll do anything that might make you feel better.”

Sombra’s head was still on her hands, but she had stopped crying at that point. She looked up, sniffled and said, “There might be something that could cheer me up.” She pointed to Mei’s team, who were enjoying their chee-zy pretzels and laughing. “I want to crush them at their own game.”


	89. Windmills are Hard

Before the Windmill things were going great. Sombra actually wasn’t half bad at putting, and she may have sneakily hacked her club with aim hacks. McCree was able to high noon a ball right into the hole {he was their mvp}. Hanzo was technically a sniper and got the ball in the hole pretty accurately. The person who was having the most trouble was Moira. This was a point of contention on the team. 

“I thought you people were good at golf.” McCree mused like he actually cared about what they were doing. 

“I’m Irish you fool, not Scottish!” She scream mumbled at him. 

“Whatever,” McCree said. Luckily she was just as bad as Emily so it all evened out. 

But now they were at the Windmill, the hell pit of mini golf. Even Mei’s team was having trouble. “Who said windmills were okay in mini golf?” Sombra groaned after her 500th attempt. “Nerf windmills.” 

“That’s not how this works.” Emily finally said to the Talon member. She was always hanging in the back talking to Bastion. She occasionally gave Moira and Sombra cautious glances. “It’s not that hard once you-” She hit her ball as she spoke but it bounced off the fan of the windmill. 

When Moira laughed at Emily’s spectacular failure, she returned to the side of the miny course. Bastion beeped some beeps of encouragement. 

Mei finally called another break just so she could teach Emily how to golf right and Sombra’s team was forced to wait again. Sombra watched Mei show Emily how to exist for a minute before she threw her head back with a frustrated groan. She really didn’t want to be there but she really wanted to win. Competitive Overwatch ruined her life. 

“What is so important about winning?” Hanzo asked. 

Sombra stared off into the distance. She really didn’t have an answer. “I just want to win for once.” she finally muttered. 

“To be honest, I don’t care if we win or lose.” McCree said. “As long as I’m here with my wonderful hubby, I’m fine.” He reached for Hanzo’s hands and held them romantically. 

Moira and Sombra gave them both looks of disgust. Then Moira remembered something that always either shut the kids up, or made them more rowdy; the gift shop. Moira cleared her throat, “Maybe a look in the gift shop would inspire you to at least try,” she said. 

When they entered the gift shop, the only thing that could be sensed was the smell of dusty golf balls. Then Uncle Bucko entered the shop, grumbling all the way, and turned on the lights. Once their eyes adjusted to the light, they found that the only thing that could be seen was dusty golf balls.

“Hey y’all! It’s been a long time since people have actually come in here, so take a look around! Maybe you’ll find some antiques, heh-heh!” Uncle Bucko chuckled.

“K.” All of Sombra’s team said. 

They searched around for a while, not really finding anything. “There’s nothing here but dusty golf balls and old phone chargers.” Hanzo said, “I still don’t feel like winning is very important, this is a friendly competition after al-.” Hanzo was interrupted by his husband lightly punching him in the arm 72 times in a single second and pointing, open mouthed at the holy grail of the store; $50 Gintama golf clubs.

“Nevermind then.” Hanzo said. “We’d honestly kill for those golf clubs.”

McCree zoomed out of the store quicker than the speed of light. When the rest of the team came out of the store, they found McCree at the tee off. He swung his club faster than the eye could see, and his ball soared stronger than a tsunami through the windmill and by some sorcery fell in the hole. McCree was a god when he really felt like it.

He turned towards Mei’s team, all of whom had open mouths {excluding Ana, who actually felt proud of McCree’s sudden show of godhood}. He appeared next to them and said, “I’ll be takin’ that $50 reward now.”

Mei stared blankly into the atmosphere, clearly unable to speak. Then she blinked and began to speak normally again, “Wow! That was cool!” All the competitiveness had somehow seeped out of her. “Sure, here it is.” She said as she pulled out her purse and gave him a single coin which was worth $50 in Bucko Bucks. McCree sped off to Hanzo, picked him up and transported them both to the store, leaving Sombra and Moira standing next to Mei and her team, looking as surprised as they were. 

“That man is insane!” Moira said.

“I thought it was cool.” Sombra said.

“I didn’t say it wasn’t!” 

“He can be godlike when he feels like it.” Mei said turning towards the two Taloners. “But you guys were good too!”

“I didn’t expect that coming from you, the person who was acting the craziest out of all of us.” Sombra said. 

Mei rubbed the back of her head, “Ya, sorry about that… mini golf just brings out the worst in me. You guys deserved to win the whole time.”

Sombra had done it, she had finally won. She felt good, but she didn’t know why. It wasn’t because she had won, that felt different. It was something different… maybe it was the fact that Mei had said it. That her long time enemy had admitted defeat. No… it was something else. It was something she hadn’t felt in a long time, an actual sense of belonging to a team that could joke, play, laugh, cry, even admit defeat, and still be a team; something Talon never had. 

“Thank you,” Sombra said, with a slight smile on her face.


	90. The O.W.C.A (Overwatch Wedding Conservation Alliance )

Both parties got home at around 10 at night, which technically was past all their bedtimes, but Ana was in a good mood and let them have an extra 30 minutes of awakey times. Winston and Tracer were hanging out for the day and Emily decided to join them, and she didn’t even kick Winston out because she was cool with sharing her girlfriend with a mutual friend and she wasn’t a clingy person like some significant others are <3\. McCree and Hanzo were appreciating the paintwork on the antique Gintama golf clubs. Mei and Junkrat were allowed to see each other only for one more day to plan the wedding before the wedding would tear them apart for a couple of hours two days from then. Everyone else used their extra time to play Clash Royale.

All of them, but Pharah and Mercy. They had gone to Mei’s bachelorette party like everyone else, but only because Mercy was still knocked out and Pharah was a huge pushover. Pharah literally had to drag Mercy around the golf course for hours, which may possibly be why they had lost so early in the tournament. Mercy was only just waking up now in one of the more comfortable beds in the infirmary. 

“Ugh… UGH! AAAAAAAAA!” She woke up screaming.

“You good?” Pharah asked.

“Better now.” Mercy said placatedly.

“Good, you were asleep for a really long time. I was starting to get worried.” Pharah said. “Mom’s sleeps never last longer than a couple of hours or seconds sometimes.”

“What time is it?” Mercy asked.

“Like 10 I think.” Pharah responded.

“Oh...” Mercy said, “I did have a really rough night though.”

Mercy looked around her, at the office she had always had since she came to Overwatch. It felt somehow different, almost nicer. The floors seemed freshly cleansed, all the medical equipment was put in neat little places and the beds all seemed to be made. This was the way Mercy had always liked her office to look, but she almost never had the time to clean it like this, seeing as Overwatch was constantly using it for one purpose or another. Everything smelled like lemon. 

Pharah blushed and did that anime girl finger touch thing when she noticed that Mercy noticed her work. Pharah had nothing else to do while she waited for Mercy to wake up so she cleaned the infirmary a bit. A bit meant a deep clean with a lot of Mr.Clean products. She even scrubbed down the ceiling and it was just as shiny as the floor. 

“So… you and Genji?” Pharah started speaking to break the two minute of silence. 

“How’d you find out?” Mercy asked. 

“He told me… and everyone else.” 

Mercy's eyes widened. “D-did he say why?” She stuttered. 

“He only said that you didn't like his memes enough.” Pharah laughed. “I'm surprised he didn't revert back to his emo phase.” 

Mercy laughed too. “It's against his religion, I guess,” She said. 

Mercy's laugh made Pharah freeze and her face became a deep red. Mercy looked up and saw Pharah’s blush causing her to have the same reaction but she turned away and cleared her throat. “Sooooooooo, my sisters,” She said to change the subject. 

“Well, we know they're working with an op, evil Winston.” Pharah said. 

“But we don’t know when they’re going to strike or where...” Mercy said dramatically. 

“The wedding probably,” Pharah said. “It’s literally the only feasible time to kill us all in one place.”

“True that makes sense...” Mercy said. “Now all we have to do is make sure we don’t all die. We can get all the defense heroes to join an alliance to keep us all from dying, I guess.”

“Oo and we can call is the Overwatch Wedding Conservation Alliance!” Pharah said. “The O.W.C.A, ya, that’s a totally cool and original acronym that has never been used before!”

“I agree...” Mercy said, sounding a little happier but still stressed to all hell and back.

Pharah noticed her stressedness after a couple seconds of silence, “Look, I know you’re stressed. But I don’t really see a reason to be. Overwatch has always won in the end, even against some of the stupidest situations. You may have been alone when you were younger, but you have friends now, a team; me...”

That didn’t do much to ease Mercy’s conscious, but it was also extremely nice to hear. It was true that since she joined Overwatch, they had never lost once, even a single time. And hearing Pharah say that she had her back made her feel nice; really nice. “You’re really articulate when you want to be, has anyone ever told you that?” Mercy asked.

Pharah blushed, “Thanks. And no, nobody ever has.”

Mercy was kind of touched by Pharah’s humility, and decided to tell Pharah the truth about her breakup with Genji, because it had something to do with her. ”I have something to say,” Mercy said a little embarrassed, “The real reason Genji and I broke up was… I really like you, and I couldn’t hide that from him.”

Pharah died at that moment for possibly the 37th time in this fanfiction. But the underworld was so used to spitting her back to the mortal world at that point that it didn’t even take her. She stared at Mercy as she was looking at the floor, blushing a lot.

“Alright then. What does that mean for, you know, ‘us’?” Pharah asked. 

“I’m not really sure… I guess we’ll have to play it by ear. I think the first step is to not die within the next few days.” Mercy said.

“I agree.” Pharah said, standing up from her armchair. “Let’s go get all the defense heroes to join the O.W.C.A.” Pharah said as she offered Mercy a hand up from the bed. 

Mercy smiled as she took Pharah’s hand, and they went to get signatures from all the bad boys in the defense class that weren’t getting married that day.


	91. Ana Organizes a Wedding and Ends a War

Ana was extremely busy the next day. Of course, as always, she stayed up all night to make sure everyone was being appropriate during the night. When the sun began to shine and every normal human being woke up, she talked to Torb about the wedding cake. He was still peeved at her for literally opening a portal to hell in his kitchen and he refused to make the cake, but he did give her a number to call that would, in his words, “Make an ok cake, not good, just ok.”

After that passive aggressive conversation, Pharah talked to her a little bit about the wedding. 

“Hey mom can you use your godly powers to make sure that a black hole won’t completely rip us apart at the wedding please?” Pharah asked.

“I was going to do that anyway.” Ana said, sounding distracted.

“Ah…” Pharah said. “Goodbye then.” 

She turned away, but then she felt her mother’s hand on her shoulder. “Good luck with the whole Mercy thing,” Ana said before patting Pharah twice on the back and walking away. Somehow Pharah had forgotten that her mother could read minds.

She spent the next hour organizing the people who were going to keep Junkrat and Mei apart for a day, because for some reason it was against the law in Gibraltar to see your SO on your wedding day; the punishment being 12 years in prison. 

After that, she went to go get wedding gifts for the happy couple. For Mei it was easy, all she had to do get her tickets to Disney on Ice and a Frozen sponsored ice pun book. The gift was harder for Junkrat, as she knew little about him besides the fact that he loved Mei and was in crippling debt. She decided to relieve him of the debt by killing the loan shark that had been so mean to him. She took his head as proof of the gift. What a maniac. 

When she returned to the Watchpoint, she got a text from Junkrat. It said, Talon wants to meet with you lol, plz cum to the #TalonRoomProject. She entered the room through the fire Junkrat had lit in the trash can {because she could teleport through fire}. Everyone in the room was sitting on their bunk beds {Sombra and Moira on top/ Reaper and Doomfist on bottom}, looking surprised. “What exactly are your powers?” Sombra asked.

“Anything of the mind and the burn, I have dominion over. Anyway why did you call me in?” Ana said.

Doomfist looked into the eyes of all of his children, all of them nodding back at him. “We’ve come to a decision.” 

“You’re cool with Overwatch now. Maybe not all of us, but enough to be ok with working with us.” Ana said, reading his mind. 

“Yep, that’s the tea.” Doomfist said.

“Are all of you in agreement?” Ana asked, as if she didn’t already know the answer.

Reaper was the first to speak, “Genji is cool. I’m cool with everyone he’s cool with.”

Sombra spoke second, “I like the way this place works, and I just found out that you still use Windows 10 and that’s criminal. I’d like to change that.”

Moira nodded at Sombra, “I hope to do good by my niece and nephews, so I’ll go where they go.”

Junkrat was sitting on the floor still staring at the fire, until the attention was turned to him, and he looked Ana straight in the eye with the most serious face in the world and said, “Mei is the light of my life. She likes you guys, so I do too.”

Doomfist laid back in his bed, “My children has spoken.”

“Great!” Ana said, “So the war is over now… want to hug it out?” And everyone did. Doomfist did an air hug to make sure that nobody died, and that was merciful of him. 

“Alright then.” Ana said once the hug was over, “I have half a wedding left to plan. You guys will get your own rooms as soon as that’s over. And Junkrat,” She looked at the trash goblin, “go have fun with Mei for the last day before we literally have to break you apart.”

Junkrat was out of that room faster than you could say “Fire teleportation is OP plz nerf.”


	92. Wedding Day Shenanigans

The very next day was the wedding {Ana is good at what she does}. It was held in a field just outside of Gibraltar. Everything was set up the night before, and it was slated to begin at 9 in the morning. 

The morning preparation was difficult because no one wanted to be awake before 9AM so everything moved pretty slow. The hardest part was keeping Junkrat away from Mei. Ana had to explain to him why seeing the bride before they got married was bad luck a thousand times. (she counted) 

When the wedding began, Overwatch and Talon sat at opposite sides of the runway like the families probably do at weddings. There was an equal amount of chairs on both sides even though there were way less members in Talon than Overwatch. Ana just couldn’t have asymmetry. 

Everyone was forced to wait 15 minutes while Ana gave Mei the cliche mother pep talk before she walked down the aisle. She had her right leg on a low box and everything like Captain America, which proved how real it was. After they were finished, Ana queued Tracer to stand up with a giant boom box. Tracer did and pressed a button, and the boom box played a hip hop version of the bridal chorus. 

Mei walked alone down the aisle in the most cliche beautiful dress Junkrat had ever seen. And he’s seen two dresses in his lifetime. Ana appeared next to Mei when she reached the end of the aisle as the maid of honor (there was a “mysterious fire” burning at the side of the altar). Junkrat wanted his dad to be his best man, but unfortunately his dad had died several years ago in a car explosion Junkertown PD is still investigating to this day.

The officiant leaned over to Ana, “Um.. Miss.” She whispered. 

“Yes Rosy?” Ana replied. 

“I came here to deliver the mail, why am I officiating a wedding?”

Ana said nothing. Rosy the officiant was too scared to start anything so she looked up a speech on her phone. She read through officianteric.com. There were parts where she had to insert the bride and groom’s names but she didn’t know Junkrat and Mei’s names so she only said “bride and groom.” 

As Rosy was talking, Mei whispered to Junkrat. “You look A-mei-zing in a tuxedo.” She didn’t realize that Junkrat was using his mind magic to make it look like he was wearing a tux. 

“Would you believe I’m not actually wearing one?” He asked quietly.

“Yes.” She replied

“Ah. You look absolutely beautiful <3” Junkrat gazed into Mei’s eyes romantically.

“Hey are you guys even listening?” Rosy snapped at the soon to be married couple. Mei played her sorry voice line so Rosy could continue. 

Rosy opened her mouth to continue reading off the website but Ana stopped her. “Could you move this alone a bit faster? We can't have this chapter be 100 years long.” 

With a frustrated sigh, Rosy pointed to Mei and then to Junkrat. “You love him? You love her? Great! I now pronounce you husband and wife!” 

Junkrat didn’t fully understand how weddings worked (like me) so he wasn’t expecting Mei to pull him down for the most romantic kiss anyone has ever seen {it ranked in the top 5 kisses in history}. Everyone cheered. Even the grumpiest of Talon members {Sombra} clapped their {her} hands and cheered. Tracer changed the music to the Do-Not-Playlist and the first song that played was the Cupid Shuffle.

Mei and Junkrat walked down the aisle hand in hand like normal people while everyone else cupid shuffled after them. Reinhardt somehow picked up all the chairs at once and carried them across the field where there were dollar store tables and a long table with food that wasn’t made by Torbjörn so it was okay at best. 

Tracer let Cupid Shuffle loop for 15 minutes. Nobody cared but Mercy shot Tracer’s boombox a couple of times because the second grade PE flashbacks were too hard to handle. 

Eventually they arrived farther down the field at the reception area. It had the normal outside tents and plastic tables where everyone could sit and eat the mediocre looking cake sitting in the middle. It turned out the cake was lemon, the most mediocre of all cake flavors. There was also catering done by the best Buffalo Wild Wings in Gibraltar. 

Everyone was having so much fun watching Mei and Junkrat feed each other cake and wings or dancing to music from 2008 that they didn't notice the sky getting darker. Storm clouds rolled unnaturally fast over the reception and only the reception. Everywhere else was chill. 

But eventually the atmosphere got too ominous, and some of the more wary of the team {Mercy and Pharah} went on high alert. They got together and talked about the spookiness above them

“We’re all together. This is the perfect time for them to strike.” Pharah said.

“I noticed,” she said looking up at the sky. “Is everything in place?”

“Yes… well, except Torbjorn. He’s, um, ‘busy right now’ remember.” Pharah said

Mercy pulled in air from her teeth, ”Yeesh that bad?”

“Yes.” Pharah said.

“Ok. But is everything else in place?” Mercy asked.

Pharah looked around again and nodded.

“Alright, let’s go over the plan one more tim-” Mercy said. 

But it was too late. With a thunderous laugh, Bill appeared, interrupting Mercy’s statement. He hovered in the sky among the clouds. Everyone else's eyes left whatever they were looking at to look at the discotek gorilla.

“Oh no! It’s Bill!” Winston pointed up to the sky and the music of the scene got louder and more dramatic as the screen faded to black.


	93. Bill Says Muahaha

“Oh no! It’s Bill!” Winston pointed up to the sky. This chapter opened like in those old animated shows where it replays the last 2 seconds of the part before the commercial break (It’s to keep the viewer’s attention lol).

Mercy hurriedly stood up. Her leg knocked over the cheap plastic chair she was sitting in. She looked around for everyone she and Pharah had asked to protect the wedding. Bastion was sitting in his turret form on the table he was sitting at, and Hanzo had his bow ready and of course, Torbjörn was nowhere to be seen. Even Junkrat and Mei, who were never approached about becoming a part of the O.W.C.A held up their various blaster/bombs {they both had secret compartments in their clothes for killing machines}. And many of the other Overwatch and Talon members had their weapons at the ready as well. The defence was set, the O.W.C.A was ready to respond. 

“Hello fools.” Bill said with disdain, as he floated down to the ground, black hole cannon in hand. He looked over to Winston and said, “Hello Winston,” in a voice twice as menacing as Bill’s already powerful voice. 

Winston only snarled dramatically causing Bill to chuckle villainously. At that moment, Hanzo let his arrow find its way in hopes of killing Bill with a headshot; but instead, the arrow didn’t get anywhere near Bill. Bill glared at Hanzo until the man next to the archer fell to the ground. Yes, Bill killed McCree with but a thought. Hanzo whirled around, shouting his husband’s name. Mercy didn’t hesitate to fly over to McCree and rez him. She didn’t need him to see the death realm again. 

When McCree returned from the dead, he fell backwards the same way he did when he first got depression. Hanzo feared that his husband would have to re-complete his story arc, but as it turned out, the look on McCree’s face wasn’t sadness, but pure rage. 

McCree combat rolled up and pointed at the gorilla, “It was you all along! I never had sudden death syndrome!”

Bill chuckled evilly, “Heh, but of course. I can kill absolutely anyone with but a thought; it is my ultimate after all.” Bill smirked as he said, “I thought Winston told you. You didn’t even figure it out? Pathetic.”

McCree rushed forward, but was held back by Hanzo. He didn’t want McCree to get bapped by the giant silverback gorilla who was radiating more power than even Winston did explaining photosynthesis. Not even McCree's homosexual cowman rage could counter Bill. 

Bill went on about how both Overwatch and Talon left him behind. Everyone stared and dramatically listened to Bill's story Mercy wasn’t. She was wondering where the Mercys and Forgiveness were. She thought they were working together. 

It was almost like the author read her mind because Mercy's sisters and Forgiveness descended down from the sky after another crack of thunder. Mercy was too busy in her own thoughts that she didn't realize Bill finished his story and the Mercys perfectly timed their arrival with Bill saying “And now I will exact my perfect revenge; seeing everyone who has done me wrong torn to atoms!” 

McCree frantically felt around his pockets. He pointed right to Grace who was holding McCree's gun. All the Mercy's we're equipped with a weapon. Clemency was struggling to hold up Pharah's rocket launcher and the twins had two of Mercy’s leftover pistol’s she kept in her desk for emergencies. Mercy’s eyes sank, thinking that those defence heroes assembled wouldn’t be able to stand up to the might of the silverback godrilla, a girl that just got her heart broken and 4 generic bad guys. 

Meanwhile, Roadhog sat on his godly throne spectating his boy Junkrat’s wedding. It was a day he never thought would come but it did and he was proud. When he noticed the sky going dark, he tried to use his god powers to make the day as beautiful as possible but it didn't seem to work. Bill appeared and Roadhog listened to Bill speak long enough to know he was a bad guy. Nothing was going to ruin Junkrat's wedding day so long as Roadhog was in charge of literally everything. 

Sunshine broke through the storm clouds as Roadhog descended through them. The clouds closed up behind him after his porky body passed by. 

Junkrat looked up to the sky just like everyone else. His bottom lip quivered and tears fell from his eyes. “Roadhog…?” He whimpered. “I thought you were dead!” He sobbed and Mei squeezed her husband's hand. 

Roadhog had a sad face under his mask. “I am…” 

“Wait! Who are you‽” Bill interrupted Roadhog and Junkrat's beautiful moment. 

Roadhog turned to face the villainous silverback gorilla, “I'm God and I'm not going to let you ruin this day for my bro,” he said as divine light showed down from the previously cloudy skies.


	94. Battle In The Sky

“Humph, God huh?” Bill says, not acting scared in the slightest, “I have a bone to pick with you, if it really is you… but first!” And before anyone could say or do anything the black hole cannon had fired. It was so sudden that it took a couple of milliseconds for anyone’s face to change. But in those milliseconds, the deed was done and the black hole was sent out.

But just as Bill was letting out a huge braying villain laugh (mua-haha etc etc), he noticed something peculiar. When he looked at the surprised faces of the Overwatch team, he saw them frozen, as if they weren't moving at all. In fact nothing in the pavillion was, it was all frozen in mid air. Even the things on the verge of falling into the black hole stood still and quiet.

Bill turned back to the man who claimed to be God and saw that he was holding both his hands out, creating a glyph in the space between his hands out of thin air. It looked like something that could be printed on the inside of the TARDIS. Roadhog dropped his hands and the glyph remained, slowly moving in this frozen world where only the two powerful beings moved. 

“So… now we can talk,” Roadhog said.

Bill sneered, “I think we should do a little more than talk, pig face! If you are really able to do this, then that means you are God after all, and that makes me more than a little angry with you!”

“And why is that, my child,” Roadhog said calmly. 

“You made me what I am! A horrible monkey with jazzed to hell hair! And I’m so powerful that even pantheon gods like Winston or Ana don’t want to hang out with me!” Bill screamed whilst pointing at the floating fat guy. 

“Actually that was the last guy-” Roadhog said before Bill interrupted him.

“Doesn’t matter! What matters is that you’re God now, and you’ll have to deal with your predecessors mistakes… have at you!” Bill screamed again before dropping the black hole cannon with a gigantic thud and primal punching Roadhog a mile into the air. 

Roadhog was prepared for the punch, but he didn’t expect for it to send him up so high; or that it would hurt so much. I mean, I’m god! he thought, I shouldn’t have felt anything! This truly is a worthy opponent indeed…

After a while of flying upwards he began to float again. He was pretty far up, and it was so cloudy around him that he couldn’t even see below him. But as his eyes adjusted to the mist he saw Bill clearly, floating slowly up to his level; how he was even able to manage that even Roadhog didn’t know, but it was likely that Bill flew through sheer focus alone. 

When Bill reached Roadhog’s level, Roadhog tried to speak again, “Bill, I have no wish to fight you.”

“You will fight, or you will die,” Bill said slowly, several meters away.

Roadhog remembered how he got his godhood in the first place and understood that he shouldn’t succumb to death, lest the world suffer horribly. “Very well,” Roadhog said, resolved to what he must do. 

Roadhog was the first to strike, he rushed forward faster than any 600kg man possibly could have, just slightly faster than the eye could see, and punched Bill straight in the stomach. Bill flew a while, spinning wildly, until he eventually leveled out. When he looked at Roadhog, he smiled, finally satisfied with the challenge. 

And thus the battle began. Meanwhile, down on the ground, Roadhog’s time glyph began to break apart.


	95. On the Nature of the Time Glyph and Other Perplexing Questions

Down on the ground, Roadhog’s time glyph began to break apart. It was for a number of reasons.

1\. Roadhog’s attention, and therefore power, was diverted to the battle in the sky, so the glyph wasn’t able to use that nice God juice to power itself and began to lose strength slightly.

2\. The glyph wasn’t meant to last forever, and was specifically created to last only a couple of minutes so that the area that the glyph affected could catch up to the time around it and so that the people inside the glyphs radius wouldn’t be stuck forever. Oh and the glyph doesn’t stop time everywhere but only in a certain area around it. 

3\. Ana was hitting Winston against it like a baseball bat.

Back a few minutes before, when Roadhog first created the glyph, Ana and Winston had noticed that things were slowing down around them. They escaped the time glyphs power by being beings of strength similar to Roadhog himself, just as Bill was. 

They noticed talking and went over to where it was taking place. 

“So… now we can talk,” Roadhog had said, with Ana and Winston hiding behind the half eaten, mediocre cake. Bill was speaking, but neither of them cared, so they just started to whisper to each other.

“Do you have any idea what’s going on?” Winston aksed.

“I’m guessing the guy with the pig mask slowed down time somehow,” Ana said.

“Oh ok then. How did we escape it?” 

“By being epic,” Ana said and went in for a fist bump which Winston gladly gave. 

“Sweet. But-” Winston was about to say something, but just at that time the pig mask man was punched by Bill hundreds of feet in the air. Afterwards, Bill made a passing glance at the glyph before turning away and slowly floating upwards.

“Anyway,” Winston recovered, “But who is he? Was what I was about to say.”

“Hmm, I don’t know,” Ana said, “There’s no god in the Egyptian pantheon that could do this; although...”

“What?” 

“The God of Christianbuddhism has been seen stopping time once or twice, but the last time I saw him he looked a lot less like street meat,” Ana said.

“Wait there are other gods?” Winston asked surprised but not exited. 

“Oh sure! Plenty of gods roam this planet. Bill up there,” Ana pointed to the gorrilla that had not fully entered the cloud layer because he was so slow {it was like an elevator}, “He may just be a god of his own unknown pantheon, explaining his power. You yourself are a minor god in the Science religion.”

“There’s no such thing as a science religion-” Winston heard himself saying before he remembered the VSause shrine he had in his room, “Nevermind.”

“Anyway, if that’s the Christianbuddhist God, then he should be able to hold his weight, pun intended,” Ana said, “He was always slightly OP to begin with.”

“Alright then. What’s the next course of action?” Winston asked.

“I’m not sure...” Ana said furrowing her brow.

Winston scanned the area with his science eye, and noticed a glitching Gallifrey sign floating in midair. He punched Ana in the arm {she barely noticed}, and pointed at it. Ana nodded.

“That must be what’s holding time in place,” Ana said as she walked over to it. 

“I think it is. It looks ‘timey’,” Winston said.

“Well, what should we do?” Ana asked.

“Hmm...” Winston thought, “If you’re sure that pig guy can handle Bill then I say we deal with our friends. First off I say we try and move something to see if we can affect anything.”

Ana lightly kicked (a force that would normally create a hole 5 feet deep) a nearby vase that had fallen on the ground, and it didn’t move an inch. “No,” Ana said, looking at Winston.

“Ok. Wait doesn’t that mean that mean that the air isn’t moving either? Shouldn’t we be frozen in place anyway by the air particles just kind of hanging there?” Winston asked.

“Witness me,” Ana said and then lit fire to her whole body, except the fire only burned in a small layer around her instead of spreading everywhere like it usually did.

“Oh I see, there’s a small layer of oxygen around us. Neat” Winston said, “Ok now that we have that figured out, how to rescue our friends?”

“Break this,” she pointed to the glyph, “And use whatever godly powers we have at our disposal to get them out of there. Also, you did say that the cannon didn’t fully work right?” Ana asked.

“Yes, it was incomplete when it was stolen, but it seems to have gotten even more broken. Look,” Winston said as he pointed to the cannon lying on the ground that had scotch tape wrapped all over the little cracks.

“By my calculations, the only way for this thing to kill you is for it to get 3 inches away from you, and nobody is right now,” he said looking over all the surprised faces of the party, “But the gravitational power will still be powerful, and might still pull a few in, so we’ll have to get the beings closest to the black hole first,” Winston calculated. 

Ana had her one good eyebrow up, not understanding.

Winston sighed. “Big,” he put his hands out wide, “s u c c.”

Ana nodded, understanding everything.

“But how do we break it?” Winston asked bemused. 

“There’s nothing we can use but us,” Ana said, “Everything else is frozen.”

Then Winston had a terrible, no good, very bad idea. “Ana,” Winston smirked, “There’s nothing we can use but us...”

Ana looked at him for a few seconds, and then realized, “Oh… Oh!” she said.

Winston smiled, “Our ultimate move, the one we made when we first worked together...”

“Yes!” Ana smiled.

“The ultimate banana slam dunk over under “never-fail” gorilla meteor strike maneuver. You know what to do...” Winston said, closing his eyes. 

Ana closed her eyes as well, and they both began to hum. When their hum reached peak harmonization, their eyes opened glowing. Ana picked up Winston and jumped 10 feet in the air. 

She hung there for a second and began to speak, “WITH OUR POWERS COMBINED!”

Winston finished the trademark saying, “WE HEREBY BANANA SLAM YOU!”

And they went down, faster than a speeding bullet. Winston’s head was smacked against the glyph and it was broke evenly in two. Time began again, and the clock (proverbial and otherwise) started to tick.


	96. Don’t let the Big Boi Touch You!

They had to save Mercy and Pharah first. They were the closest to where the black hole landed. Lucky for both of them, Pharah had a pretty nice jetpack on, and that kept both of them alive. Pharah held on tight to Mercy as the gravity was pulling both of them slowly in. But suddenly a pillar of fire appeared next to them and old granny hands had them both by the scruff of the neck. Those hands pulled them through the fire.

They appeared 50 meters away, far away from the effect radius of the black hole, totally fine and not burned at all. Ana was next to them, standing in the flame. 

Ana began to speak, “Can’t let you two die yet!” she said with a big smile on her face, “Still have grandbabies to give me! Oh but I still have more to save, brb.”

Pharah and Mercy looked at each other, laughed a bit, and Mercy gave Pharah a little smooch on the cheek. “Thanks for saving me,” she said. Pharah said nothing.

Meanwhile, McCree and Hanzo were barely staying alive. They were also close to the radius of the black hole, and only staying alive because McCree was running faster than anyone in cowboy boots ever has. He was holding his husband in his arms bridal style, while both of them screamed. They did this until a giant thing grabbed both of them and they screamed even louder; McCree didn’t even stop moving his legs immediately. But it was just Winston! But he was primal raging to get those extra yumps and couldn’t/wouldn’t talk to either of them. He set them down next to Pharmercy, got out of primal rage and began huffing and puffing.

“Huff, puff, you two are really heavy you know, huff, lay off the cheeze-its,” he said to McCree before turning away and whispering to himself about the movie Gravity to keep himself angry {apparently an extremely scientifically inaccurate movie} and then he jumped again.

By the time he was gone again, McCree was standing up again, trying to say thank you but finding that his voice had failed him. Hanzo stood up and gave McCree a big hug and they both started crying into each other’s arms.

This cycle continued for a while, about to die, rescue, and then love. It took like 2 minutes to get everyone safely away. 

When everyone was on the sidelines Ana and Winston stood there, tired to hell for maybe the first time in their lives. They all watched as the pavilion and everything that was in it, fall into the black hole. They started to become relieved after a while, then everyone heard a terrible cough.

It came from behind them, that horrible cough, the kind that says “still here lol.” It was the Mercys, specifically Forgiveness. “Forget us then?” Forgiveness said, “That’s the last mistake you’ll ever make.”

All the Mercys were smiling; except for Clemency who stood there sobbing, barely holding on to Pharah’s rocket launcher. She looked at Hanzo, her beautiful man, fully loving McCree, not just a hand hold, a hug and a cry. She was depressed, angry and scared, but most of all she was tired. Tired of just being around just to please, as her sister’s seemed so ready to do. She was sick of always trying to further her father’s goals, and never getting anything she actually wanted. And Hanzo was the first of those things she wanted all to herself, all because of herself, not just because daddy wanted it. Seeing that Hanzo was actually happy with McCree broke her, but it mostly just made her tired of it all. Just tired. 

She felt that she might as well be dead, so she slowly walked towards the black hole.

“Clemency, darling, what are you doing?” Forgiveness asked.

Clemency turned around getting very close to the black hole, “I’m sick of all this, so I choose death. I sacrifice myself,” and she fell back, tears streaming off her face. 

She was sucked in with no sound, simply entering, like a portal. It was all silent for a while as all the Mercys looked in surprise. Then, the black hole actually began to grow, if only a little; it’s gravitational energy could now be felt where they all stood. It was at that point that Grace’s eyes grew and she began to smile.

“Oh father! Our sister was smart! She sacrificed herself as an example! If we give ourselves to the black hole it will grow strong enough to consume all of these fools!” she said.

“But daughter,” Forgiveness said, sounding distressed for the first time we’ve ever heard, “It tears you apart atom by atom! You’ll die!”

Grace’s smile took on a murderous quality, “If I must sacrifice myself temporarily for the cause I will.I have faith I’ll be put back together, by either Lord Bill or by you I don’t know, but I have faith! I have faith! I have faith! I have fait-” she was swallowed by the every growing black hole before she could say anything else. The black hole grew even faster.

“Hmm,” Charity said, looking at her fallen sisters and at the results they brought. She could not deny the fact that the black hole was in fact growing, she could feel it’s pull again from 50 meters away. She and Pity were different than either Clemency or Grace. They couldn’t honestly care less if their father’s goals were realized, that desire to help him with that died in the cave. They also didn’t feel tired of what they were doing like Clemency. All they cared about was staving off the constant, neverending boredom the both of them felt at basically all times. All they cared about was having fun, and hadn’t the last few days been fun! Doing whatever they could to mess things up, emotionally hurt and harm. Wouldn’t it be so fun to screw their dad’s entire plan just on the cusp of his victory? Charity thought so, and when she looked into the eyes of her sister she saw the same thought.

“Do you have faith sister?” Charity asked, sarcastically enough, and as if she didn’t know the answer already.

“I have faith sister,” Pity said, smiling horribly.

They both turned to their father and said at the same time, “Do you have faith father?”

“Um...” Forgiveness said, actually feeling scared of his daughter’s for the first time.

“Great!” They both said as they grabbed their father’s arm and led him into the black hole.

“Wait! Girls! No-” and that was the end.

But at that point the black hole was too powerful to stop and all the Overwatch and Talon teams had to cling for dear life. Nobody to save them now.


	97. Blink and You’ll Miss it

Meanwhile, a mile up in the air, a storm was brewing. Not one you’d normally expect to be brewing that high up, one of thunder and lightning and hail, but instead one of pain. Physical pain, concentrated into a single cloudy form. In the center of the cloud was Bill, he had his eyes closed, but his face was wracked with concentration. When he opened his eyes the cloud rushed forward and enveloped Roadhog, who was preparing his next attack. Bill smiled, that move had successfully killed many Overwatch members, people who had seemed to pose as much of a challenge as this pig god did. But when the cloud passed Roadhog continued to float there, holding his protein drink in his mouth and having a nice long draft of the stuff. When he was done he put it away and cocked his head towards Bill, as if saying “that was all‽”

The battle had raged for minutes, with each minute that passed bringing out stranger attacks from Bill, who didn’t seem to really have that much up his sleeve to begin with. Roadhog was baffled with the amount of techniques the homosexual rocket ape could do. At first Bill just used his fists, but Roadhog was equally fast as Bill’s fists so Bill had to go to level two. He went on to energy attacks, laser beams, etc. But it was all for naught; Roadhog’s rubber like fat just absorbed it without any problem. At the end he resorted to the cloud of pain, which didn’t work either. 

But nothing prepared Roadhog for what Bill did next. Bill flew towards Roadhog extremely quickly. Unfortunately for Bill, Roadhog was too quick, the flying op man barely nicked him.

When Bill stopped Roadhog asked, “And what was that? We can stop if you wan-”

But Bill was laughing too hard for Roadhog to finish, and that was when Roadhog noticed what happened; his sippy boi was falling to the ground, as Bill had cut off the string that kept it on Roadhog’s belt/waistband.

“That? What was that‽ That was your last mistake pig man!” Bill screamed, before he pressed Q. 

Roadhog’s eyes opened wide underneath his mask, just remembering what Bill’s ultimate really was; it could kill anyone, anywhere. With his Mountain Dew:Code Red bottle he might have just gotten off with a scratch, but without it… he shuddered to think it. But he was about to experience it all the same.

For a couple of seconds nothing happened. A few seconds later Roadhog felt the giant weight on his heart. It felt like what his couch must feel like when he sat on it {lol gotem}. For a while Roadhog felt that this could actually be the end, and thought “It was always going to be a heart attack wasn’t it.”

Bill was laughing hard, too hard for someone that emo looking. “XD,” {yes he said XD out loud but he’s just the kind of guy that would do that}, “You look so hilarious! Just writhing around, dying! God! Dying! Who would of thought little old Bill could do it!” Bill screamed while barely being able to keep himself airborne in his laughing spell.

And for Roadhog that was the last straw. He felt that if this loser got his powers that the world wouldn’t just suffer, it would be completely destroyed, replaced with another world and destroyed again. So he resolved to do the thing that even his predecessor was never able to do; he turned back time! He summoned a time glyph, except this time it was less of a circular structure and more of a spherical one, and using it he moved time backwards. Sure it was a wimpy version of time travel but it was time travel all the same. He transported his body below the neck back to what it was 30 seconds before, making it perfectly fine. Even his sippy boy was back {praise the sippy boy}!

“N-nani‽” Bill scrasked.

“I’m sorry Bill. I truly am. But if you do not stop now I will be forced to go all out,” Roadhog still holding the time orb.

“Never!” Bill said, unconvinced that Roadhog could do anything that could stop him.

“So be it,” Roadhog said. He put a massive amount of energy into the orb, crushed it and Bill was enveloped in white light. At the deepest darkest part of his heas,e thought sullenly that he must have been dead and that the white void that surrounded him must’ve been some form of afterlife. But then he heard a voice, the voice of the pig man, speak to him.

“When I was younger,” the voice started, “I got my hook. When I first got it it was the best thing in the world, and I used it across the continents with my friend; whose wedding it is today. Throughout the years it always held a certain energy, an energy powerful enough to destroy anyone that collided with it. But suddenly… it’s power went away. I didn’t know where it went, all I know is that it went away. For a while I was distraught, but when I became God I finally realized where it went. The universe took it away from me, somehow, I don’t know. It somehow etched away a part of my soul, which I finally understood as the place where the hooks power came from. It took it away from me for a reason I see now, it was too powerful for one man to have for long. But now I must now resist the will of the universe, and bring that part of me back...”

Bill looked around for a long time, until his eyes finally adjusted to the bright light. When he could see again, he saw the pig man engulfed in black flame. After a few seconds the black flame coalesced into a vaguely hooked shape in his hands.

“My name is Roadhog. I am a God, one of many,” he said, “And this… is HOOK 1.0” and he threw the hook. 

Bill avoided it easily enough, it moved slowly. But even as it sailed passed him he felt odd, as if he didn’t really avoid it at all. A few seconds after that… he was suddenly teleported into the hooks grabbing embrace! He had no idea how he got there despite the fact that he clearly saw the hook fly straight passed him. Unfortunately for him, he was most certainly caught in that hook of black fire and he was rushing towards Roadhog faster than sound. Roadhog had a face of pity behind his mask, a feeling Bill felt emanating from Roadhog. Then he got within shooting distance and all went black.

 

Bill opened his eyes some indeterminate amount of time later. He was not relieved to be alive, but he wasn’t mad about it either. He found himself in a small crater, partially covered with rubble. He pushed off the rubble and climbed up the crater. When he got to the top he saw Roadhog, not standing or even sitting, but laying face down in the grass.

“You were truly powerful indeed, a worthy opponent,” Bill said to Roadhog, “It would be a shame to see you die in such a way. Better to be by my hands than that of your own exhaustion. Get up and fight if you’re still alive.”

Roadhog slowly rose. When he looked at Bill he felt distraught. Bill looked no worse for wear than when he first started, even though the sheer force of their battle could have destroyed all of Norway. 

“Good, you’re up,” Bill said with a grimace, just noticing a pain that had just begun in his shoulder. It was barely more than a mosquito bite of pain so he dismissed it. 

“You deserve to be killed quickly and with honor. You’re so unlike the people you protect, you are-” Bill was about to go into a huge villain monologue but the pain in his shoulder had spread and intensified, so he felt the area and found something bad; it was disintegrating into dust.

“What?” Bill asked, dazed. Roadhog didn’t have an answer because he didn’t know. Meanwhile Bill’s body began to disintegrate in other areas as well.

“What’s happening to me‽” Bill said, feeling true physical pain for the first time in his life. The rate of his disintegration had sped up.

He turned to Roadhog, fully scared. “Help me!” he screamed.

“Scatter to dust Bill. Go back to what you once were. Go willingly and you will die dignified,” Roadhog answered. 

But Bill did not die dignified. Bill died blubbering and in pain. It wasn’t because he was dying that he began crying out, no he had wanted death for a long time. But the pain… it was unbearable. Any normal human would have been destroyed completely from it the second they felt it. He cried a long time, 3 minutes maybe before he was fully dust. 

After Bill’s cries were finally snuffed into the ash, Roadhog sat down exhausted. He looked around listlessly until his eyes rested on something odd; a stout, bearded man standing next to a porta-potty hammering away at a pile of flaming garbage. 

Roadhog understood then what really killed Bill. Torbjorn’s turret. 

Roadhog passed out.


	98. Sacrifice

Meanwhile over at the {now destroyed} pavillion, the gang could really have used a god that wasn’t passed out.

To Mei, it seemed like time was slowing, even though nothing of the sort was happening. Time was functioning the same it always had, no fat pig men involved, it was just pure adrenaline. The black hole’s gravitational energy made the ground almost like a steep cliff in which any and all handholds are rare but valuable. She herself had both hands clung into a few gopher holes.

When she looked around she saw that everyone had found a similar patch of ground in which to cling to. Most eye catching of all was Bastion. The roboi seemed to have rocket punched a few holes into the ground with sheer force of will. Hanging off him were Emily and Tracer, who were sitting next to him at the reception. He seemed pretty solid there in the ground, unlike everyone else, who were all flainling all over the place just trying to pull against the big boy. 

Finally the sight of her husband, clinging for dear life to a pole that was falling away from the ground. It made her realize what needed to be done. She yelled over the “vacuum-cleaner-at-4-AM” levels of loudness, “EVERYBODY COME TOWARDS ME!” Those who heard her did what she asked, and those who didn’t saw everyone else moving towards her and moved the same direction. Most of them moved slowly so that they could find hand and foot holds, Genji and Hanzo moved quicker for some reason. 

But unfortunately, Junkrat was too far away from Mei to hear her and also had his eyes closed; he had always had an irrational fear of not dying to explosives, so the black hole scared him. He was not moving and his pole was getting closer and closer to falling away. 

The closest people to him was Bastion and the two girls hanging off him. He was slowly making his way towards Mei before Emily began beating at his beefy robo leg. When Bastion noticed Emily’s bappage, he turned his head like an owl to look and beeped some terror beeps that couldn’t possibly be heard over the noisemaker below them. He began to climb back down, but he was a slow boi. 

At some point during the downward goings Emily noticed that her girlfriend was gone. She was worried of course, this was maybe the worst time to lose Tracer of all the times she had run off in the past. But good for all of them, she was actually falling towards Junkrat. She tore him off his doomed pole at what seemed like the speed of sound and grabbed him tight. Just before the both of them were about to disappear into the black hole, they both popped out of existence in a flash of light. Emily was used to Tracer’s time manipulation by then and looked up to where Tracer, as well as both Bastion and she, were just 3 seconds before. They both appeared a small way up, as Bastion had traveled slightly in the time it took Tracer to get Junkrat. Tracer was no longer holding on to Junkrat, so they both fell freely. Tracer grabbed onto Bastion’s shoulder gear without jostling him even a little {she weighed about as much as a waffle and Bastion was made of steel}, but Junkrat was not to quick at recting. He was not used to Tracer’s shenanigans and just a few seconds ago he was staring into a black hole. He fell a small way, thinking again that he was going to die once more; until his hand caught on something. It was Emily’s outstretched hand. She managed not to fall off herself from the force of the big boi by hooking her arm around one of Bastion’s pneumatic parts. Emily hoisted Junkrat up to Bastion’s back and returned her hands to her original position when he had a good hold on. He looked at all three of his saviors with something akin to thanks in his eyes, but it was more than that, and he wasn’t able to articulate it then with all the distractions; in fact he never would truly be able to articulate it. Emily taped Bastion on the shoulder, he looked at her for a second and began to climb back up, no faster or slower despite the added weight. 

The rescue took no less than 20 seconds at most, and Bastion arrived with the rest of the cast just 40 seconds later. “IS EVERYONE HERE?” Mei asked as she looked around. The rest were near her by that point too, but she asked this anyway. She spotted that everyone, including her dangling husband and she pushed the plug for her plan to begin. She kicked off the ground that was also a cliff and prepared her endothermic blaster. The black hole pulled her down a little bit but by then everything was in place. A second later she landed face first on her masterpiece. It was the most powerful ice wall she had ever created, so thick and so long that it penetrated deep into the ground. Hanging above it was the entirety of the wedding party, who quickly dropped down onto the new platform. It held surprisingly, despite the fact that Rein still had his armor on, Winston was a giant gorilla and Bastion literally weighed as much as Thor’s hammer. 

“¡¿What are we going to do about that thing?!” Sombra yelled. She was more peeved than scared. Two of her precios fingernails had broken during the commotion. 

“Under normal circumstances,” Winston whispered quickly to himself in his fright, “a black hole would be unclosable. But seeing as it’s not really a black hole to begin with, and it’s pretty small at the moment, I think a heady thermonuclear blast will fill the dimensional hole with enough unstable atoms that it closes in on itself. ”

“Winston, stop speaking Chinese!” Ana snapped, ”We need a real solution!” 

Winston groaned and dumbed down his science. “We need to clog the toilet with a bomb boi.”

Everyone murmured their agreements until Moira stepped in. “How do you propose we get this bomb? It’s not like we can go build one that’s big enough to destroy the black hole right now.” Everyone murmured their agreements to her. Tracer and Junkrat had bombs but they weren’t powerful enough to get rid of a black hole. 

Just then, Bastion got an idea. “Beep bop!”(Translation: I’ll do it!). He beeped over everyone's chatter. “Beep bop boop boop.” (Translation: I’ll close the hole.) 

“Bastion, no!” Emily shouted. 

“Bee boo…” (Translation: It’s the only way…) 

“Wait how?” Literally everyone there asked.

“Beeple bople boop, beep beeple beep deep beop boop beeeeeeeeee beplbe zwii zwii beep boo. Bappady beepy boh bopple bing,” (Translation: It’s really simple, my core runs on a small thermonuclear engine that I can yeeeeeeeeeet into the hole. If it explodes before I fall in, then I should be fine, just powered off for a little bit) Bastion beeped incoherently.

Somehow everyone understood him and murmured their approval. But Emily was still worried. 

“How do you control when the bomb explodes‽” Emily scrasked hysterically. 

“Boople beep, be boop,” (Translation: That’s the thing, I can’t). “Beepington beeple bep bop beople,” (I’ll have to get as close as possible, turn it on, and eject it for it to have any chance of working).

“Then how do you know if you’re going to live‽” Emily asked.

“I don’t.” Bastion actually said (in a voice that sounded like George Takei) and not in beeps because lol I can’t think of any more beeps.

“NO! I can’t let you die, there had to be another way out of this! There has to-” Emily was cut off by the sudden urge to fall asleep. She fell to the ground with Ana’s gun still pointed at her.

Ana turned to Bastion, “Do what you have to do. If it truly is the only way, then go.”

Bastion nodded, feeling a little worried. He was not scared of death, it was what he was built for; but it wasn’t like he was guaranteed death anyway. All he had to do was eject his core before the black hole sucked him up, and boom gg ez clap. But he was worried for Emily because she didn’t seem much like herself. She usually didn’t scream, and also wasn’t usually so protective. He would have to talk to her about it... assuming of course that he survived. 

For now she slept, a small grimace on her face, a holdover from her episode earlier. He looked at her and hoped for the luck that he should survive and see her again. Despite the fact that they had been only friends for a while, he still loved her; how could he not. Even if he did die, it made little difference if she lived because of it. 

He looked at everyone, the combined forces of Talon and Overwatch, and nodded. It was for them too, no matter how much they treated him like a coat hanger he still had a duty to save them. 

The ice wall beneath their feet crackled slightly and Mei said with urgency, “That was the bottom layer! A couple more minutes and the middle layer will go, and we won’t have long after that!”

Ana turned towards Bastion and said, “Do what you think you must Bastion, for her sake and for ours. We will be forever in your debt, and whether you live or die you will remembered as a hero.”

Bastion nodded and turned towards the black hole. He looked down at it, it’s never ceasing hunger evident by the plenitude of air and dust being sucked down there. In a way it did look like a vacuum, albeit a giant, dark void of one. He looked back once more, felt any fear he had left fade from him, and jumped off. 

The last thought he had before he ejected his core was of Emily, and how the birds of Eichenwalde flew around her. How one would land on her shoulder and she’d laugh. How she smiled at him as they watched the birds do their dance about the sky. 

And then everything went black.

And there was a huge explosion.


	99. After the Explosion

Winston was lying on the ground some 10 feet away from a giant, melting ice wall leaning dangerously to one side. He sat up and gazed at the destruction that was caused. 

“Damn,” Winston said under his breath. What he saw was a deep crater about 30 feet deep, at which he was at the outskirts of. He just noticed then the amount of rubble and dust he had stuck to his fur and brushed it off quickly.

“I caused this,” he whispered to himself; and surprisingly he smiled a horrible, regretful smile. The black hole cannon had worked just the way he thought it would, and that was good. Unfortunately Bill had to get in the way and use the cannon for evil and to kill his friends, but hey what can you do.

He stood on all fours, just about to try and find everyone when he heard a familiar voice. 

“Hey! Winston! Over here!” Tracer screamed loudly. Winston turned to look at the Tracer and found her at the lead of a small group. Behind her was Mei, Junkrat, Torbjorn and Emily. Tracer pulled away from the group and zipped to Winston

“So glad we found you buddy! We’ve been looking everywhere for the rest of the team.” Tracer said when she got to him.

“Have you found any of them?” he asked. 

“Ya actually. Most of the team met up a safe distance away from the crater, where Ana, Mercy and Moira are healing them now,” she replied, “There were a couple still not there so we were sent to find them. And look who we found!” She said this last thing loudly, directly at her group that had come up behind her. 

“Hey Winston,” Mei said, “Glad to see you.”

“You sure? Even after I caused all this?”

“Of course silly! Your only mistake was making a device that could create black holes, you had no idea how it’d be used,” she replied consolately. Winston felt a little better after that. 

“You want to come with us Winston?” Tracer asked.

“Sure,” Winston said, “Who exactly do we have left?”

“After you?” Tracer asked herself, “I think the only person left is...” She didn’t continue, because she didn’t want Emily to start crying again, but the pause heavily implied “Bastion.”

Winston nodded and said, “Alright then.” They moved on.

When they reached the crater, Emily lagged behind as the others started down the slope. She stood at the edge of the crater looking in, fearful that no matter how hard they searched that Bastion would just be a bunch of rubble. Junkrat noticed this and stopped as well.

“Your friend did an amazing thing...” Junkrat said.

“Yes, he did,” Emily said piquedly.

Junkrat turned to her and said, “You did an amazing thing too… you saved my life. Your girlfriend, the one that killed me before, she may have gotten me but it was really you and your friend that saved me from the black hole. I don’t think I can ever really put into words how thankful I am, but I will never be able to repay you for it.” 

Emily looked at him, slightly moved. “I couldn’t just let you die on your wedding day, could I?” she asked good naturedly. “By the way, my girlfriend is named Lena, but call her Tracer. As for my friend… he’s named Bastion.”

Junkrat smiled, “I’ll remember that. Now then, how bout we go find this friend of yours.”

Emily’s face lost it’s happy-like quality, “That’s the thing… I think he might be-”

“Not dead,” Roadhog said from behind her. He had been listening to this whole conversation without being noticed by anyone, despite breathing louder than the bells of Big Ben. 

“Roadhog!” Junkrat said, “Buddy you’re ok! You’re-” He was interrupted by Emily.

“What do you mean not dead‽” she asked urgently. 

“I mean he’s not dead. Not really. But you won’t find him all the same.”

“What do you mean‽” Emily asked.

“I cannot answer this question, for I don’t know the answers, I only know that he’s not dead. Now then, my time on Earth grows short, and I need to talk with Junkrat,” Roadhog said rapidly. 

“How? How did you survive?” Junkrat asked.

“I went to heaven and God said ‘lol you’re me now XD’” Roadhog said.

“So you’re God now?”

“A god, not the God,” Roadhog responded, “I think that the real god might just be in that crater right now.” He pointed at Torbjorn and Junkrat nodded, seeing the godhood radiating from his body. 

“But probably not. I don’t think there is a God that presides over all the other gods. But he’s close, very close. He’s the one who killed Bill, even after I used all my power and he still stood. You should keep an eye on him...”

“Yes sir!” Junkrat said and saluted, something that he would never do if Roadhog wasn’t a god.

“Alright. Good. I have to go now, Heaven needs me. Apparently someone rewrote the book of Duderonomy while I was gone,” Roadhog said.

“Wait, when will I see you again‽” Junkrat scrasked. 

Roadhog’s face was a study in regret, but his mask showed to to nobody. “You may never see me again, at least not in this life.”

“W-why‽” Junkrat asked like a child being refused his sippy boi. 

“The affairs of mortals are dangerous. There are thousands of beings just as powerful as Bill. I have an entire realm to look after, and if I die away from my area it might crumble and millions of Christianbuddists will die. It’s simply something I cannot risk,” Roadhog said. 

“So… this is goodbye. For real this time?” Junkrat asked.

“It is I think.”

“Well,” Junkrat hugged his large friends, “Goodbye buddy, and thanks for saving my life.”

Roadhog hugged Junkrat back, letting his silence fill the void. He didn’t need to say anything, Junkrat knew. When Roadhog pulled away, Junkrat did too. Roadhog began to wave and float up into the sky; Junkrat waved back. It was the wave of friends that would see each other again, but not for a long, long time. At some point, the clouds enveloped Roadhog and Junkrat could see him no longer. He dropped his waving hand and turned back to Emily. On her face was a determination so strong it makes Frisk from Undertale look like a scrub.

“Don’t you want to go down there, find your friend? Bastion?” Junkrat asked.

“No. He’s not down there, and I know it. I can feel it now. But he’s not dead either, I can feel that too. I’ll find him, even if it takes me a while.” Emily replied, still looking at the crater and the people in it. 

“I’ll help, I think we’ll all help,” Junkrat said.

“Thanks for that, I think I’ll need you too,” she said finally looking at him and smiling, “I think we should call them back and get them some rest, it’s been a long day.‘

“Ya,” Junkrat said looking at his wife, scuffling through the crater looking tired, “I think that’s a good idea.”


	100. The Journey Ends

Emily, Tracer, Winston and Torbjorn started heading back to where the Overwatch team waited to be healed. Mei and Junkrat did not. They stayed behind at the edge of the crater, just the two of them.

Mei was sitting on the crater’s edge, watching the setting sun. Junkrat was standing behind her, watching the same thing, but thinking of the shitstorm his life had become. At least he had Mei. He sat down.

“Sorry the wedding turned out the way it did,” Junkrat said when he came to a rest beside her. 

“It’s alright,” she said looking at him and smiling, “I got everything I wanted out of it.”

“Hmm, now that I think about it all the wedding gifts got sucked up in the black hole, you sure about that?” Junkrat asked playfully. 

“Certain. I’m pretty sure Winston got us coupons to Smoothie World and Ana got you a severed head sooooooooo,” she replied equally as playful.

They both laughed and sat in silence for a while, looking at each other. They were overwhelmed with the love they felt for each other. 

“I love you,” Junkrat said.

“I love you too,” Mei said. And they kissed.

After the kiss, they went back to looking at each other again. Eventually, even that ceased. They stared at the sunset. 

“Hell of a week wasn’t it?” Junkrat asked.

“I guess so,” she shrugged, “To me it felt like forever.”

Junkrat nodded, “Maybe it was. Maybe it was...”


	101. Epilogue

For a while after Soldier 76 stepped into the blue light, all he could see was darkness. He wondered to himself whether or not he preferred this to life and found that he did. He tapped the dark ground at his feet; solid. He looked behind him and saw a faint blue glow, the remnants of the portal he came through. He stared at the darkness and enjoyed it.

But the quiet wouldn’t last for long, he could already sense that. And of course, he was right. 

The voice was commanding, persuasive and driven. He couldn’t see the thing producing the voice, be he doubted that mattered. The voice spoke in the darkness for a long time, what felt like hours, and Soldier agreed with every word of it. Only when the voice paused did he realize that the voice wasn’t really there at all, but that didn’t matter either.

After a while the voice said that the procedure was over, and that he could open his eyes. He didn’t understand but he did do what the voice asked and opened his eyes.

The darkness and the blue portal remnant were just figments of his imagination, but the voice and the things it said were not. The things the voice did to his body were real too. He sat up on the operation table and looked at the voice.

It was in shadows, but he could see it was a female, wearing heels and dark skinned. He looked beside her and saw a cyborg looking female who up to that point had said nothing. He looked down at himself and saw similar cybernetic enhancements on himself. He nodded, feeling the improvement. 

“So, Soldier 76. Will you join us?” the voice asked.

“Yes,” he said, “But don’t call me that. I’m a new man thanks to you I’ll have a new name.”

“Alright then,” the voice said with a touch of amusement, “What will you be called?”

“Call me Soldier 706, because I’ve got nothing.”

“We’ll have to work on that,” the voice said. “Come along now, there’s work to be done.”

“Of course… It takes a lot of mann power to destroy the universe after all,” Solder 706 said as he got up off the operation table. 

The three of them walked down the hall. Soldier 706 was grinning, thinking about what the voice told him. The tall cyborg walked along showing no emotion but seething with anger on the inside.

And the body of the voice went down the hall with determined eyes, ready to kill reality.


	102. Author's Notes

The Love we Feel on Wattpad was written by the writing duo going by the name of DistictiveUsername. Their escapades began when one of them, going by the name of the Being Beyond, read an Overwatch fanfiction so hilarious that it spawned her own desire to write. This fanfiction’s name was Hanzo’s Vore Daddy on Ao3. She created a Wattpad account by the name of DistinctiveUsername to upload this fanfiction.

Soon afterwards, the first chapter or so was written and the desire to write was shared with her best friend, going by the name of Tate Jaxon or the Individual Above. He agreed to edit for her and after a while fell in love with the ludicrous story. Soon after he began to edit for her, the first chapter was uploaded on to Wattpad on October 31st, Halloween, to rave reviews. He soon wished to write some chapters himself, and so he began with Chapter 24: Photosynthesis is a weapon. He continued to edit for her.

The duo wrote during the school year and kept a pretty good schedule. Eventually, around Chapter 60 or so, the Individual Above began to write more frequently and began to take over the product, prompting a slight change in tone and style from previous chapters. The Being Beyond still wrote a few chapters here and there, and was still the main source of inspiration and also some of the best jokes.

After the Individual Above started writing more, it became clear that DistinctiveUsername was more than just a single person but both of them together, and it solidified his place as Co-Author. 

Just for clearness: Chapters 1-59 can mostly be attributed to the Being Beyond, whose jokes and goofiness drove the beginning half; and Chapters 60-Epilogue can mostly be attributed to the Individual Above, whose more proselike writing style created more emotional tension and stressful moments (he thinks). 

Of course, they owe all their thanks to those of you reading this right now. Those of you who have stuck it out to the end and have enjoyed it (they hope). They also owe thanks to their friends and family in real life, who have thus far supported their endeavors. Thanks is also due to Custom Ink, who provided them with the shirts and to Book Baby for physical books. 

Finally, they wish to inform you of the grand amount of regret they have for not creating more EmilyxBastion chapters.

They will return, and quite soon I’d think, with more Overwatch shenanigans. So please… stay tuned.


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